Why it's so good to be a man

by CC Ryder 8 Replies latest social humour

  • CC Ryder
    CC Ryder

    Here's yet another list of why it's soooooooooo good to be a man.

    Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

    Your orgasms are real. Always.

    Your last name stays put.

    The garage is all yours.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can be president.

    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

    If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

    You can open all your own jars.

    You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just "too icky."??

    Same work . . . more pay.

    Wrinkles add character.

    Wedding Dress $5,000; Tux rental $100.

    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

    One mood, ALL the damn time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    You can leave the motel bed unmade.

    You can kill your own food.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

    You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

    You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

    You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

    If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

    You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

    You almost never have strap problems in public.

    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

    You don't have to shave below your neck.

    0ne wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

    You can do your nails with a pocketknife.

    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on December 24th in 45 minutes.

    The world is your urinal

    Edited by - CC Ryder on 22 September 2002 12:18:28

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Hell yeah!

  • Nikita
    Nikita

    Funny

    >> > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    Haha, not by my husband!

    > You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

    I drive him crazy when I try to front seat drive! I'm always putting on my "brakes."

  • Europe
    Europe

    ;-)))

    Right, but you can only do one thing at the same time.........;-)

    One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news", God said.

    Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first."

    Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve.

    The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."

    Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

  • StinkyPantz
    StinkyPantz
    One mood, ALL the damn time.

    BullSh*t!!!

  • CC Ryder
    CC Ryder

    Oh....come on StinkyPantz...you know we're emotionally stable and never pout when we have to stop watching football to fix the leaky sink...LOL

    CC

  • COMF
    COMF
    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

    T-shirt, hell! You can go without a shirt.

    Edited by - COMF on 22 September 2002 13:37:45

  • patio34
    patio34

    Very funny!

    I have observed this one occasionally:

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of

    >> > thoughtfulness

    Pat

  • Dismembered
    Dismembered

    Touche CC

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