A question of race

by teejay 53 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Monster

  Englishman said:

  What's troubling me now is that I was tempted to say hello to him but didn't want him to get the idea that he was being patronised by me, so I didn't say anything. I guess that was some sort of reverse thinking on my part because I have always abhorred race predjudice.

  That's strange because when I find myself being the only black person in a bar, I don't feel comfortable until someone say's hi to me, it lets me know I'm in a nice friendly place. Wonder if whites feel uncomfortable when there are no other whites around?
• 

  teejay

  I feel everything you said, Monster.

  You last words mean the most...

  Some people will like you others will not. Personally I don't care if someone
  doesn't like me; I'm not going to lose any sleep over it, I would just go in there
  take care of business and step. Don't even worry about them just handle your
  business brotha.

  That's always what I do. People and all their hang-ups don't bother me. All I was saying was that this is a little glitch in the thinking of Black people when we encounter a situation that doesn't feel right: Did the $5 an hour clerk come off that way because I'm Black or simply because she is having a bad day? Is it because of my skin? A minor--very minor--concern for me, no doubt. But it's still something we have to deal with (along with everything else everybody else deals with) that never crosses the minds of the average White person.

  Thanks for your post, Bruh.

  Btw, I read/bought a book once entitled "Monster." Very good book. I gave it to a youngster I thought might benefit from it.
• 

  mamashel

  It very well could be a question of race and most likely is. I never really saw racsism when I was growing up, because my parents lived in an all white neighborhood and when I saw people of color, I can honestly say I was very afraid. I share that to share this, I am a white woman married to a black man. I have 4 by-racial children and 2 white children. I have seen with my own eyes and ears what I refused to believe existed. It was alittle harder to deal with 12-15 years ago. Now it is a little more common than before. The best thing to do is rise above it, and be the better man,

  mamashel
• 

  Monster

  TeeJay said:

  Btw, I read/bought a book once entitled "Monster." Very good book. I gave it to a youngster I thought might benefit from it.

  Yeah I remember that book too. That young brother kept going through changes. After he wrote the book it became a best seller the system let him out of jail but he ended up going back because of his friends. It was a good book.

  Peace James.
• 

  teejay

  Strange, isn't it, weeks go by sometimes without me even seeing someone who is black.

  Englishman,

  Are you lucky? Or cursed? Not a day has gone by in all my years when I *didn't* see a white person. Is it me who's lucky? Or cursed?

  ... this afternoon, when I popped in the pub for a quicky, there was a black chap having a beer in there. He must have been only the second or third black guy that I have ever seen in the pub in the last 15 years or so.

  What's troubling me now is that I was tempted to say hello to him but didn't want him to get the idea that he was being patronised by me, so I didn't say anything.

  You englishters can be funny, in a tragic sort of way...

  You think a black man can actually feel patronized in a bar when someone simply says a howdy-doo? Is it *that* bad over there? Wow. And you even fought back the "temptation" to say hello! I wonder why. Did you feel a need to speak to him? Was it his skin color that drew you to him? And was it that same skin color that ultimately made you NOT speak? Curious.

  I guess that was some sort of reverse thinking on my part because I have always abhorred race predjudice.

  Oh really. You fooled me by relating this experience of yours. You seem to suggest that you *didn't* speak BECAUSE HE WAS BLACK. Yes? So, do you *really* abhor prejudice, considering that your act of not speaking was prejudicial. (If I understand you, he was black and *that's* why you didn't speak.)

  For what it's worth, this thread wasn't and isn't about racism. It's about my reaction--what goes on in my head at times--when people go off on me without cause. A reaction likely not felt by others of different races.

  That's all.
• 

  teejay

  I have a "reverse" reaction when seeing someone of different color, and that is
  that the other person will PRESUME I am racist.

  Interesting comment, Englishman.

  I respond to people however I see fit, not as what I think they might think. I don't have a reaction or a "reverse" reaction when seeing someone of another race/color, but I have had advantages not available to you (i.e., I've lived around people of other races my whole life). Some people are put in the position of having to think too much instead of doing what is naturally the right thing.

  Seems a bit rough on Teejay though.

  Not really. I was basically going through a philosophical exercise, examining a fact of American life. As Finnrot honestly said, here in America folks of different colors respond differently to the same situation. Is it rougher for one than the other? Probably. It's human to be want humane treatment. It's also human to be repulsed by inhumane treatment. Could you know what I'm talking about?

  Boy does he make me smile sometimes!

  For what it's worth, you make me smile sometimes, too.
• 

  teejay

  Don't let it get you down, TeeJay. Give them a smile every day and walk out the
  door knowing that you probably make more money that they do. Hey that may
  be why they're so ugly to you. I heard you FedEx guys write a check and the
  bank bounces.

  Thanks for your note, Bendrr.

  I really don't have a problem with people who have issues -- even race issues. I was raised in Arkansas from the late 50s so I know a thing or two about it. Experienced a thing or two, too. More importantly, I've learned how to feel about it and how to deal with it.

  All I was mentioning here (Finnrot said it better) is that Blacks live under a psychological / mental weight--small as it is--that is unknown to Whites. I've thought about it long before (workmate) John P told me of his experience on the job. I think it's a thought that most other Blacks have had at some time or another: "Am I being treated this way because of the color of my skin?" At this point for me, it's only a mental exercise. No biggee.

  I had to grin at your comment about the money I make. It's not only funny but quite valid. I understood that soon after I was hired. Owner/operators like me put up with a lot of shit sometimes but we are also compensated very well. It has been common for those that quit, expecting greener pastures, usually return when they see what kind of prospects are out there.

  As far as the bank bouncing when we right checks, though? You got your courier services a little confused. That would be UPS! Those guys are making a killing!!!
• 

  sableindian

  Hi, Teejay,

  You are having just too much fun on this thread, young man.

  Hop on over to one of mine. DNA and the Lemba and other Africans

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=36845&site=3

  Anyway, I thought it would be nice to slip this poem in here,

  Take care,

  Q is for Qelilah

  The Cold Within
  Six Humans trapped by happenstance
  in black and bitter cold,
  each one possessed a stick of wood.
  or so the story's told.

  Their dying fire in need of logs,
  the first woman held hers back.
  for on the faces around the fire
  she noticed one was black.
  The next man looking across the way
  saw one not of his church,
  and couldn't bring himself to give
  the fire his stick of birch.

  The third one sat in tattered clothes.
  He gave his coat a hitch.
  Why should his log be put to use
  to warm the idle rich?

  The rich man just sat back and thought of the wealth he had in store.
  and how to keep what he had earned
  from the lazy shiftless poor.

  The black man's face bespoke revenge
  as the fire passed from his sight,
  for all he saw in his stick of wood
  was a chance to spite the white.

  And the last man of this forlorn group
  did nought except for gain.
  Giving only to those who gave
  was how he played his game.

  The logs held tight in death's still hands
  was proof of human sin.
  They didn't die from the cold without,
  They died from the cold within.

  Edited by - sableindian on 22 September 2002 19:47:39
• 

  teejay

  Sableindian (or is it "Q"?),

  I got your email and read your thread about the Lemba. Strange as it may seem, I didn't get it. Jews, during the Diaspora, lived in Africa? And fornicated with the Natives? And left offspring behind? And? (shrugging shoulders here)

  As for the poem, I saw it first on the wall of an office I was delivering to some time ago. That was... maybe... three / four years ago?

  It was a wall-hanging printed above a black and white photo first published in Life magazine-- a picture of the first Black woman who walked alone to Central High School in Little Rock through the taunts of her fellow Americans back in the year I was born. (Where in the hell was her Mom or Dad? Probably threatened with firing from their janitor/house keeping jobs, eh?)

  I asked the office worker for a copy of it but rather than wait for it, found it on the net.

  Btw, it's been posted here already. See: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=27052&site=3
• 

  BeautifulGarbage

  No, it never occured to be that someone treated me badly because I'm caucasion. I always think they are either having a bad day, or they are a pathetic moron.

  From the viewpoint of being a woman I am "perceptive" to being treated condescendingly by males. It doesn't happen to often because men respect size and I can look most of them in the eye.

  I remember about 7 years ago I went to a sporting goods store with my Mom and sister. I went to go browse around while my Mom and sister went to, hopefully, purchase a pair of shoes for my sister. When I decided to go back and check to see if they were done, they hadn't even been asked if they needed help! There were all these people bustling around, but we were completely ignored. They had benches were people sit to try on shoes and I was very tempted to stand on them and bellow "Hey! Help needed in the shoe department". we looked at each other and when a salesperson immediately helped a man that just walked in, that was it, we were outta there. But, not until I spoke to the manager.

  So, I walk up to the girl that is at one of the cash registers and I ask her to please get the manager for me, NOW. She asked me if she could help me and I said "no" get the manager please".

  I wait and I wait (My Mom and sister are waiting in the car) and finally the Assistant Manager comes out. Seems the Manager is "on the phone" and can be bothered. So, I'm stuck with some young guy who is barely out of college.

  He asked me "Can I help you?" in a very patronizing tone. He even stoops down to me (he was a tall one!) as if I were a child.

  I respond "Uh yeah, you can help me. We stood in your shoe department for 10 minutes trying to buy shoes, and it seem no one has time for us. So, here's a suggestion for ya: You need to rip a new asshole in whoever runs your shoe department because you make the Walmart look like Neiman Marcus. Good luck! You'll need it! Buh byeeee"

  You should have seen his eyes when I said "rip a new asshole" LOL!

  I also followed up with a letter to their corporate headquarters

  Yes, I believe I was treated "differently" because I am a woman. But, most of the time, I don't give much thought to it.

  Andee

  Edited by - BeautifulGarbage on 22 September 2002 21:17:22

  Edited by - BeautifulGarbage on 22 September 2002 21:18:56