Abuse in other religions?

by wednesday 13 Replies latest jw experiences

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    I have been a JW all my life and i'm in mid to late 40's. I've seen much abuse.Currently i am inactive/attend occ meeting.. My husband who is also a JW and attends some meetings but has been inactive in service for some time due to depression.Not at all responsive to me talking to him about this site.He defends JW to the end.My question has to do with other religions than JW. My husband says that issues like child molestation/ abuse and rape have not generally been dealt well with by anybody until lately.I am from texas and here the baptist and church of christ are major religions. he contends that their record is probably jsut as bad, and soemone from those churches probably would not have received fair treatment either. He says it has always been the victim to blame utnil recently. I do know that some of the people i grew up with went to some pretty strict churches(no tv, music make up dancing parties etc. ) This is actaully fairly common around here. Our neighbors are not supposed to watch TV. (they do) I'm prety sure these religions don't have a diwsfellowship clause though. but it is probable that if a member wher to wear make up they might be shunned or counseled. i once knew a catholic who lead a life similiar to some of our stories. She would not get married b/c the church forbid birth control. she would not go against it. It has ruined her whole liefe. She suffered vefey mucjh from depression.

    ny thoughts form anyone about how other religions deal with breaking the rules

    I am victim of both incest and rape by jw brother.

    Wednesday

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Wednesday,

    I think your husband is partially correct. The biggest difference is that I've not seen other churches excommunicating or disfellowshipping those who criticize or go public as the Society has done.

  • larc
    larc

    Wednesday,

    Your husband probably is correct. However, and this is a big however, the Witnesses claim to be God's chosen people. They claim to be more moral than all other religions. They claim to live to higher standards. Of course, these claims are false. To say that other groups have problems does not change the fact that the JWs have major problems.

    The WT speaks out both sides of its mouth. They say they have a "clean" organization. When this is shown to be false, they fall back to the "imperfect men" idea, and the "other religions have problems too" arguement. To me, it just doesn't wash.

  • Lin
    Lin

    Wednesday, I'm in Texas too. Although other religions may likely have abuse problems as well, and may at some point become public knowledge, what goes on within the jw's is by far harsher. Those of us who've been hurt, as have I, are told to "get over it", threatened with df'ing and loss of everyone we ever knew including our families if we speak out. Jw mentality is to blame the victim, ostracize the victim, and hide and cover up and protect the abuser(s). Not only are jw children at risk, but the children of the general public. Just think of all the school children out on summer break that are latch-key kids, and some jw pedophile comes a knockin. It has to stop.

  • freeman
    freeman

    I have to agree with Yeru when he said:

    The biggest difference is that I've not seen other churches excommunicating or disfellowshipping those who criticize or go public as the Society has done.

    I would add to that some other points. To my knowledge, other churches don't generally claim to be the one and only true church and that all others are under the control of the devil. Also most churches do not keep shamelessly slapping themselves on the back about how much more moral they are then other religions. So if the other churches are in the same boat as the Tower, then the Tower is quite a bit more reprehensible because of their I'm holier then you attitude.

    Just my 2 cents.

    Freeman

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    Lin, i read your life story and was very touched by it. I too am victim/survivor of incest(my fther age 3), and rape by a JW bro in which they df me and let him go free. He raped again. Then they df him and later reinstate him. He moves on-with no one to know he is rapist. The years of depression and illness i have suffeerd b/c of this-well it too is long story.Also i was molested by a friend(not jw) faather while at a sleepover.

    What my husband has said that until recently-the victim was alway the blame-n matter what releigion u where in. woman /children were second class citizens.At the time i was raped-i was told to not report it-a vile thing on the part of JW. But truly-it was in the 70's , i would have not gotten much justice anyway. But it might have alerted the police and stopped him form raping agian. it would have been deemed "i did something to deserve it" Look at the movies form that time period. Woman hardly reported it-b/c they could not get justice.I t has taken the womans movement to help that cause. As far as child abuse--I'm old enough to remember that children were always spanked and treated badly.children are to be seen and not heard. thank God we havve people who are willing to stand up for the most defeneless of all-our children.Now i want u to know my husband does not agree with what happen to me.he himself, was raped by worldly babysitter at tender age. So it can happen to men also.His jw parents jsut blew it off when told them about 5 yrs ago. I think generally the feeling at time years ago-no one beleived the child or woma

    I am in full support to of Bill Bowen-he is a wonderful person for stnding up and saying-we must not prtoect the abusier.

  • Outsider Friend
    Outsider Friend

    When people "break the rules" or are living in sin, there must be some accountability - to a certain extent. However, excommunicating or disfellowshiping that person is not the answer. Nor is it my job as a member of my church to run around with a checklist of every sin So and So is committing. But churches who have the mindset that "Oh, I better let her do whatever she wants so as not to turn her away..." are very sad as well. It is a hard line to draw.

    The molestation instances within the JW churches are bad, but like your husband (and the other responders so far) has said, it is true that this and every other sin happens in other churches (religions). If the fact that "Other churches are doing it" is his excuse of why JW is good, that does not even make sense. Anyway, the evidence of the molesters is very low of my list of why I think the JW is a "religion" to stay far, far away from. Keep waiting; don't give up on him (and yourself!)

  • Europe
    Europe

    LARC:

    Why do you always have to take the words right of my mouth??

    the Witnesses claim to be God's chosen people. They claim to be more moral than all other religions. They claim to live to higher standards. Of course, these claims are false. To say that other groups have problems does not change the fact that the JWs have major problems.

    The WT speaks out both sides of its mouth. They say they have a "clean" organization. When this is shown to be false, they fall back to the "imperfect men" idea, and the "other religions have problems too" arguement. To me, it just doesn't wash.

    Wednesday:

    Here in Europe childabuse cases are handled now, claims are taken seriously, victims words are taken as the truth, priest are exposed, a few of them even committed suicide as they didnt want to stand trial and didnt want to face up the truth.

    The WTS is doing NOTHING, except for putting the blame on the victims as the want to keep their so called holy organization clean. Clean it is, my ass! (sorry)

    They just want to have clean hands!! Well, I've never seen more dirty hands then theirs!!! (Malawi,UN membership, Navy shares etc)

  • Europe
    Europe

    Freeman:

    To my knowledge, other churches don't generally claim to be the one and only true church and that all others are under the control of the devil.
    Sorry to disappoint you, but the islam does the same!! They also shout it from the mosque during Xmas time!
  • Sentinel
    Sentinel

    The Catholics are supposedly strict. If one is not a baptised Catholic, they cannot be married in the church. If they marry outside, the marriage is not "recognized". There have been great divisions in families. They just operate a whole different way. The Catholic Church is powerful. We have seen what happens to even the "biggest" when they hide criminals inside and protect the child abusers.

    But, no other "christian" religion disfellowships and shuns to the degree that JW's do. They are unique in that aspect. And, usually in most any other religion, if you just "don't believe" their teachings anymore, you just stop going and make a decision as to what religion if any you might pursue. You certainly aren't shunned and labeled. JW's are filled with cultish dogma. Therefore, they are unreasonable in their demands.

    Sentinel

    Edited by - Sentinel on 20 September 2002 19:48:18

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit