That is a good question , one that I found myself wondering many times. Like you said of course your have to consider your family but there is so much more to it than that.
When I get down, I have depression probs too, I have to go back on meds if it gets too bad. I have a problem with not complying with my medication, when I need it the most. But once it starts working, I start noticing the little things. Someone mentioned nature,,,,,, yeah that is a big thing to me too. Going out alone at night and looking at the stars;sitting outside watching leaves fall down; watching my animals play. There are so many things that life has to offer, simple , even FUN things. Think of all the things you havent done yet. I havent been white water rapiding, I haven't been skydiving, I haven't been out of the USA. I would like to eat from a vendor in NYC, shop in California, meet more ex jw's, swim with a dolphin, these are things I really see myself doing one day. If you can think of things and write them down , as a check list of things you want to do in your lifetime, you can see how little fun we really have sometimes.
I know that sounds a little off maybe , suffering from depression, but in my case having some fun , can give you the sense like a little child has, just to laugh , just to experience new things, can help alot.
Many adults who suffered from abuse , in whatever form, never had a chance to do what some other kids got to do. Especially dub kids. In fact I took a whole year off just to have some fun this year, after being a JW for 35 boring years. The fun is just beginning, we had a birthday party today and look forward to all the holidays, this is new to me.
They say the way to stay young , no matter your real age, is try new things, learn new things, etc. It is also a good prescription to help with depression , lonliness and boredoom.
I swear I know how bad depression can be, I would lay in bed and not even want to get up, so tired and couldnt sleep enough . The thought of doing anything, even taking care of my kids was more than I could handle, thank god for their dad to watch over them. But please keep up with your meds and write your thoughts in a journal , do things for YOU,,,,, even if you have to force yourself at first. The meds and other things you do for yourself will kick in and you will see the sun again. Please hold on , I know life is good. My mom committed suicide and it was so painful for me , but after all these years I feel so sad that she didnt have the life I knew she would have wanted. She was so talented in art, and loved horses and was such a caring soul. I would have loved to see what she would have done with the rest of her life. I just guess I just want to tell you that many people understand what you are going thru and will be here to help you thru. My mom was alone, and had no one. I hope you have friends or family you can talk face to face with, someone to hold your hand and give you hugs. But if you don't , some leaving JW don't have many friends if any , on the outside , just remember we are here for you, Email me anytime,,,
Huggggggg and a hand to hold on to, Dede
