JWD,
Outstanding thread. Thank you. Having to be right is likely coded in our genes in some way as it is so prevalent. I suppose 'being right' was an advantage for 100,000 years to avoid being eaten or killed by the see-ums and the no seeums long enough to pass on DNA.
Somewhere along the line we coupled emotions and pride with it. I love this statement of yours: "What ugly thing inside us has to always be RIGHT? Especially when it doesn't matter?"
I've struggled with this like most have. Dub-land made it worse (see current thread on Dubs and Narcissism). Leaving religion behind has helped me greatly to overcome this tendency. I try to avoid political and religious discussions because they always end up in a wrestling match based on who is right/wrong. That feeds into the tendency to be 'right.'
A lot of my posts address a rational thought process; I am rational by nature but human by species, so I have to work each day to require evidence and avoid setting my feed in concrete in an emotional, irrational manner on any topic. But I still do it. Just not so much. Spock, where are you when we need you?
Anyway, JWD, great OP and I hope all of us read it and look in the mirror.