Unresolved anger or overwhelming sadness?

by LDH 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • LDH
    LDH

    Well, which is it guys?

    Are you filled with anger at the WBTS or just sad that things aren't what you though they were?

    I'm very sad that my parents won't talk with my sister (da'd) or my brother (df'd) even though the Society's own web-site says that such actions DO NOT SEVER FAMILY TIES. That's just there to be politically correct if you ask me. It doesn't affect the thousands of xjw's who have no contact with their family because of the directive that's given from the platform.

    I'm sad too, that I'm watching my parents age and am facing the possibility of their death in 'this system.' I am trying to come to terms with that rapidly, as time waits for no one.

    Perhaps we label people as 'angry' when really, it's just a profound sadness and incredulity they're facing.

    Thoughts?

  • Unchained
    Unchained

    To LDH,
    I totally agree with you. Please read my topic "WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?" I would like to know what you think of mine.

    Truly,
    Unchained

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    LDH: I think it's both (but not at the same time!)

    Some days I feel an overwhelming sadness. Sad for my family and relatives; and for our friends. All thought it was right and did their utmost 'for Jehovah'.

    On other days I feel exceedingly angry, specifically at the authority of the elder class. I think of how I share in their sins. I feel much as described by Paul when he wrote: "Jesus came into the world to save sinners. Of these I am foremost."(1 Tim 1:15)

    At other times however I feel happy, almost elated, to know that Christ forgives, or as the Kingdom song expressed it "Jehovah forgives in a large way".

    Ozzie (of the un-overseer class)

  • GeneBean
    GeneBean

    Lisa !! I feel the same way, its a shame.Im still the same person that i allways had been but im looked down on, and my family has turned there backs on me. Its sad because i love my family. My brother thats an elder was my best friend and hes Turned his back and i know it hurts him to. Love you Lisa
    Gene..

  • claudia
    claudia

    both

  • dark clouds
    dark clouds

    LDH:

    I'll share what i feel and see if anyone else can empathize. I can relate with the sadness that ozzie feels and am dissapointed at the "condition" of my mom, she is so glazed by the WT that sometimes i wonder if it^ is the same person i grew up with. i remember a very strong and independent woman. yet know she seems quite the opposite. ^(notice the use of the pronoun 'it' in the sentence, that was not a typo)

    i am also saddened by the thousands of children that do not have the freedom of choice and are indoctrinated from a young age, lied and deceived to by the same people that are supposed to be taking their best interests to heart. the thought is disillusioning.

    as far as anger, i was angry when i was in. angry for wanting an escape and fearing it. angry for having to obey and not wanting to.
    angry for feeling that i was wasting my life, and not having control of it. i spent the last 6 years in the borg angry because i was young and because i was scared of the change when i left.

    I spent so much time being angry deep inside that i used up my all of my anger for this life. Now that i am out, i dont spend my energy being angry, i went on my emotional rollercoaster and i got off in a very happy place, i am elated.

    I am a firm believer of karma, what you do you get back, and as we can see, the WT is starting to collect all that they have put out for the last century, imagine that, they just started to get it back.

    of the i am pulling up a chair, and watching the shite hit the fan class
    CHUCK

  • zev
    zev

    LDH,

    How about both at the same time?
    I just read c.o.c. I'm in a quandry. I feel both anger and sadness. I have
    such conflicting emotions right now that I feel it best to say little and to
    walk away from conversations that will force me to express myself in a manner
    unbecoming jw-dumb. Someone asked me in the chatroom this week what struck me
    most about c.o.c. I had to say the mexico/malawi thing really hit / hurt me
    most. Yes, hurt. I like a dog returning to his own vomit, keep returning to
    those pages and read them again. I'm teetering on the edge. I have made up my
    mind to not be the puppet of this organization by the end of the year. I will
    do it on my terms. Most difficult part will be my wife. She can't see it. The
    wall goes up as soon as I mention even one derogitory thing against the borg.
    In the mean time i will play the good dub and continue this false portrayal
    of a good dub. Actually, it isn't easy. Every meeting I go to makes me ill
    and I have panick attacks. I have and emotional rocky road ahead. I expected
    so much more from the organization that says its directed by god. God does
    not do this kind of directing. I'm so disappointed. I've given my whole life
    to this. I hope that breaking free will bring some relief over time.

    I'm starting to wonder if I need professional help.

    __
    zev
    Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class

  • battman
    battman

    Hi Zev,
    Your story sounds very similar to mine. Pro help
    probably saved my life. I learned that there is
    no "one absolute truth". My wife had her version
    and I needed to learn to develop mine. Much
    hard work. Wish I had found this DB much earlier.

    OH well. I have also learned that
    "when the student is ready the teacher appears".

    battman

  • ShaunaC
    ShaunaC

    Lisa, I definitely believe it's both. I would say that most time I remain somewhere in the middle of both. But sometimes I feel the anger well up inside me. This actually gives me much strength & conviction. When I'm at the height of my anger & frustration, I find I usually use that to delve into more research & reading. On the other hand, I also occasionally go to the other extreme of unbearable sadness. Unfortunately there is not a way to use this side to my advantage. I just have to go through my 2 hours of uncontrollable crying & sobbing. Despite not being able to stop myself when in this state, I do know that soon enough I'll return to my middle ground. Then I wait till the cycle starts again. Maybe it's a whole ying & yang thing! All a part of the healing process!

    Shauna (Part of the bragging class cuz I got to have lunch with LDH! )

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    I think in this case the anger and the sadness are just two sides of the same emotion. I am angry at the cause (man dominating man to his own injury) and sad at the results of exploitation.

    I think about my family every day even though I try not too. I lost them all. Of course, with me, on top of the DFing is the gay thing which just completely freaks my family out even though I live a very calm gay life, settled down with a partner in a lovely suburban home. We don't even do drag (very often) hee hee. And those whips and leather thingies are just decor.

    hugs

    Joel

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