How can I help a friend with shunning?

by In_between_days 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • In_between_days
    In_between_days

    I need some advise.

    I have a JW friend who has just had a close family member DF'd. She is really close to this person, and is basically his best friend, and all she had to lean on. She now has to shun him. She is very upset, but still feels shunning is the best possible way to get this person to come back. How can I help her and show her from the bible that shunning is unscriptual??

  • minimus
    minimus

    The Bible does reference certain shunning.

  • LB
    LB

    We are to emulate Jesus. Jesus spoke to everyone. Never once did he shun a single person.

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    I would tell your friend that he/she doesn't have to shun her relative if he/she doesn't want to. Congregations stand on the treatment of DF members varies from place to place. In my old congregation, an elder and his wife spoke to me at my grandfather's funeral...and they weren't slow in coming forward and approaching both me and my brother. For me this was impressive...as I am not DF...I am DA...which is considered to be much worse...unrepentant etc. Yet, in that same congregation, there are elders who couldn't give a rats bum what the occassion was, they'd shun you no matter what.

    Basically it is all up to the individual...although the attitude of the majority of elders tends to set the climate in the congregation on this issue. Tell your friend to be discreet...but to keep in mind that there are other jw members who are in good standing in other congregations who choose not to shun their relatives completely.

    Beck

  • animal
    animal

    If she chooses religion over family, then so be it... not sure you can do much to change that. I got lucky, my sis chose me.....

    Animal

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    Jesus talked to Satan the Devil himself when offered the kingdoms of the world.

    Jesus often talked to the Pharisees who conspired and schemed, eventually condemning him to his death.

    Jesus talked to demons who possessed men when he expelled them.

    JW's are taught to simply treat DF'ed ones as "men of the nations" yet if they treated "men of the nations" the same way, they would never accomplish any preaching work, for that would include shunning all "worldly" people.

    Talk about double-standards.

    JW's are not supposed to talk to someone who simply rejected the JW-faith?

    LMAO

    Fuckers.

  • Sangdigger
    Sangdigger

    If my understanding of scripture in this matter is correct, shunning was admonished in several cases. John says "if anyone denies that christ has come in the flesh do not recieve him into your house, or wish him well in his endeveors."

    I know there are other scriptures too, one that mentions not even eating with such a one, but its talking about greedy persons, idolators, fornicators and such. Again in 1 Cor. 5.

    I dont know for what your friends friend was dfd for, but the few scriptures that mention shunning, are for believers who continue in their gross sin, and do not repent. To my knowledge though, There is never a case where someone is shunned or "put out" for associating with the shunned person.

    Paul even talked about Hymineus (not sure of spelling) and another brother who departed from the faith, and he turned these two over to satan for the destruction of the flesh. (Corinthians-around chapt.14) Interesting that even chapter 5 of 1Cor. talks about the same thing, delivering these to satan for the destruction of the flesh, but that the SPIRIT may be saved.

  • bad_associashun
    bad_associashun

    Years ago I had to deal with a similar situation ~ an elder/school over. was df'd... he was my best friend in the congregation, someone I could lean on, someone who understood me.

    Upon receiving an immediate library invitation for elders' counciling about the reprocutions of continuing my association with him, I was faced with the choice of losing either way.

    I was advised it would most likely lead to being df'd myself ~ elders concern of apostacy breeding inside the org if others were permitted to talk with him (elders seem to think when other elders are df'd they automatically become 'apostate').

    My conscience and my heart would not allow me to simply shut down the love I had felt for him for years, and after examination as presented here by reborn & LB, I made the choice.

    and so I remain 'bad associashun'.

  • QUEENIE
    QUEENIE

    THIS WT ORG crap --- I myself do as I damn well please..I for the most part uphold their shunning policy and constantly remind them of my stand with their ORG when they forget and want to share a bible verse or 2 and their literature NONE of which WE R interesed in..IT is my decision as to when I choose to talk or not talk to anyone not someone else telling me to...I TALK TO MYSELF A LOT / talk to the TV and talk to LISA and my kat so what about it !!! JW ELDERs they may as well go screw themselves..xJW elders I could be open for conversation it depends on the subject my choice of course and in conclusion many (((((((HUGS)))) queenie

  • imanaliento
    imanaliento

    MIND CONTROL 101 -- this is their best method, it may make a person want to come back to family more so than an organization.

    at 1 Cor 5:11 ask is this wicked person categorized as a sexually immoral person, greedy extoritoner or an idolater? Unrepentant.

    to intimidate people or pressure them to a teaching that is contrary to scripture is a form of spiritual blackmail.

    what LB said is right " Jesus spoke to all" and exposed the wrongness of the rigidity typifing a legalisic approach to service of God

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