How Important is the Past?

by hurt 14 Replies latest social relationships

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Kingpawn,

    You are right, of course. The degree of honesty shouldn't, IMHO, have to include intimate details of past relationships. Simply saying that "I once lived with X and Y for a while", should be enough to count as having been honest.

    After all, who wants any details more than that?

    BTW, it does seem ludicrous to be jealous of a partners previous relationships, after all, we wern't even on the scene back then!

    Englishman.

  • maximumflash
    maximumflash

    Yeah.......what they all said!! I agree with everyones comments before me!!

    Welcome to the board Hurt!!

  • QUEENIE
    QUEENIE

    the past is important -- I am honest to a fault--so you do not want to know do not ask..I will probably blab it all anyway oh neg. and boring me !!! hugs -- QUEENIE

  • hurt
    hurt

    I want to say I appreciate everyone's comments. I'm particularly thankful to those who've spent their time and all in communicating with me on email. Thanks. I think it's quite more than a small thing to drop into the chatroom and mention a problem, and get instant offers for help. Xenawarrior, you were kind when I mentioned a problem in chat, but I couldn't mail you because your email's locked. I appreciate your reaction all the same.

    Let me try to say a few more things, for the sake of completeness, and to get some of us open: I don't, didn't, demand the details of past relationships. Those details were given without me asking. Now, what gives if I find they have been lies? Is not saying something the same as offering what's not true? I think if one's decided to go into details, then they should at least be true. I find it difficult too to say everything, and I don't demand that. But I won't tell a lie about such things if I have to say them. It's the way it is with the past; it's a foreign place, the past, and things happen differently there. We're all 'captives' of our past. Even God cannot change the past. To tell the truth, which, more often than not, has only one version wrt past events, is the best policy, I think. Liars must have very good memories.

    So, Kingpawn, I didn't demand details, only concerned that the details offered have been something like lies. A follow-up on Englishman's second comment - the situation here's a bit more like: "I was friends with X for a while; it wasn't something serious, we were just friends", but it turned out that you'd lived with X for a while (don't know how long), and that 'a while' was more than six months...And, all the time we'd been talking, X is presented like he's been coming to visit, until another friend mentioned in a discussion about X living in...Am I alone in thinking this is not honest?

  • xenawarrior
    xenawarrior

    ((((((((((((hurt))))))))))

    Try it again: [email protected].

    XW

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