by livingagain 27 Replies latest jw friends
(((livingagain)))
Welcome to the board.
Feeling angry is very normal, it is a shock to have your beliefsystem proven wrong. I know, I have been there. I was glad to read that this board has helped you.
If you want to talk, my email is open for you.
Hugs, Viv.
Living Again,
First off, welcome.
Second, pat yourself on the back. You had the guts to change your home life for the better (who knows how many don't have that strength?), you're working on leaving the organization, and you've admitted you're scared. It takes a bigger person to admit their fears than it does to deny them. And you're seeking help.
Some ideas on healing: read and ponder, here and elsewhere. If hearing about the Society's past spurs you on look up a thread called "Does the Society Believe in the Trinity?" and another, more recent one that contrasted words and deeds, and sometimes complete reversals of doctrines. Sorry I can't remember the name--Nancee Parke posted it.
Look for "worldly" friends. I didn't get the same indoctrination on that score so many others did (kicked out only a few months after I got in) so I'm at a loss to understand how difficult it is to voluntarily break that shell you've kept up at their urging. But, assuming you're now working, you know you'll have to relate to co-workers. If not, the people will see you as odd and management might be concerned about a harmonious workplace. So take an interest in them. Are any of them talking about somewhere you've been/want to go to? Do they have an interesting or unusual hobby? Some award they've won? Children? Have they recently bungee-jumped the Grand Canyon? (Couldn't resist getting silly for a sec.) Anyway, nothing works like asking people to talk about themselves, and everyone appreciates an audience (except for spies, but I digress...).
Find ways to fill empty hours if you feel the need. Visit shut-ins, find a local group doing something you could support, like paper drives, running a food bank, a homeless shelter, or what not. Take some courses at a community college for the education or the fun of it.
Then there's (gasp!) TV! (Avoid the soaps or you'll never get done watching them--yeah, you taped them but when ya gonna watch them? Science solves one problem and creates another). The History Channel, The Discovery Channel, the Learning Channel as well as some funny ones (and C-SPAN if you're an insomniac).
Walk or do other exercises. You'll feel better because your stress levels will drop, and you'll realize there's a whole world out there you've missed. Listen to the wind in the trees, birds overhead, children playing. Kick up some leaves this fall. Admire the colors of the trees. Have some snowball fights. Adopt a pet.
Soon the Society will be like the flat tire you got grimy from changing: you cleaned up and went on.
{Livingagain} and{ Awakened and Free},
Good to have both of you on BOARD. Lots of support here. Hope your stay is lengthy. I know it will be worthwhile. It has been for me.
Welcome to you and to all new ones reading this thread.
If you live in an area with other former JWs, you will likely find some of them excellent friends, because only they will fully understand what you have been through as a JW. If you have not read Ray Franz's books, you will find them most helpful in your exit process. Lurking here and elsewhere is helpful too, as you have already found out.
Pleae keep us posted on the progres of your fade from the slavery that is the JW life.
Warm regards,
Sam
I have nothing "nice and good" to say about that filthy religion...and certainly commend any who make a conscious choice to exit.
Having been raised in that religion, and df at age 19, I was one of those that allowed the Jw fear tactics to keep me in mental bondage for many years after the fact. This is the one thing I try and express to any newbies...do your best to cleanse your thinking of such vile teachings. Many have already posted some positive suggestions on how you might best deal with the emotional fallout that usually follows.
At any rate, welcome to any and all newcomers.
Granny...who's family is into 5th generation JW. Sick,sick, sick.
Hi There LivingAgain,
First of all WELCOME. You have found a good place to make new friends.
Please do whatever you need to do for yourself to get strong emotionally. That is where most of the "pull" is coming from. Change is never easy. But, usually, in the long run, it is wonderful.
It's perfectly normal for you to have the insecrities that you do. Might I suggest that you do some type of volunteer work in an area that you have interest in. Volunteers are usually a very good group of people. You can begin there, at least, to make some new acquaintances. Also, get into some type of regular exercise. Exercise plays a very large part in helping to heal your emotions. Even, just a regular walk will do the trick. And, read lots of good self-help books.
Don't worry, you will gradually build a new network of friends. And, by the way, you don't have to have a whole room full of people. It really only takes one or two, and then the network naturally grows from there. So you don't have to worry about being in large crowds of people, where you feel out of place.
This is going to take a bit of time to get through. But, one thing I always "knew", is that the friends and relatives that the JW's labeled as "worldly" , were some of the nicest, most loyal and loving people around. The world is not a bad place. Just a few of the people are, and you can stay free from them. You always have free choice now, as to whom you will associate with.
This world is beautiful and it is filled with beautiful human beings. Here on this site, you can just see the outpouring of love and concern when someone is having a difficult time. So, we are worldly. Yes, indeed, and proud of it.
We are free from the control of a cult and can think for ourselves and live our lives honest with our own conscience and heart.
Love and Light,
Sentinel/Karen
Welcome Aboard!
WELCOME!
