"Biting The Helping Hand..."

by silentlambs 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • silentlambs
    silentlambs

    "the elders feel that she is basically biting the helping hand"

    The quote above is from a recent news article regarding child rape and Jehovah's Witnesses. I find it a stunning confirmation of exactly how abuse survivors are treated within the Jehovahs Witnesses community. They are called ungrateful liars. It is disturbing to see Jehovah's Witness spokesmen willing to go on record and verbally abuse those who are survivors of abuse. If you read the allegations made in the lawsuit filed it appears to be far from a "helping hand" this young women was given. Refusing to report child rape to proper authorities is a crime, discouraging psychological counseling is a crime against healing and forcing her to confront a child molester with untrained lay ministers is another form of child rape. Was this the "helping hand" elder Thomas referred to? It would be interesting to see his description of these events and how in his estimation it was a rewarding experience for this child. After seeking justice for years and finally being forced due to inaction of the church to settle matters in a court of law, is this really "biting" the helping hand? Clive Thomas by his comments called this brave woman an ungrateful liar. Call it simple stupidity or outright evil, his remarks show no compassion for a child that was raped. If church leadership condones such behavior toward adult child rape victims; God help those who remain in Jehovah's Witness congregations and try to report child abuse.

    Silentlambs

    Above are my comments to the editor, if you would like to write the [email protected] or the reporter [email protected] please do so, it will do much to keep this in the Canadian press.

    Edited by - silentlambs on 1 September 2002 21:15:27

  • nancee park
    nancee park

    It would help if someone posted the text of the original news article Bill is referring to, please.

  • Scully
    Scully

    nancee park:

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=35798&site=3

    It's been up since 07:45 this morning. Have a look.

    Love, Scully

  • freeman
    freeman

    I have read this statement by this Watchtower spokesmen in context; his words and the callousness they represent is at the very least disgusting, and if I should listen to my gut, I read nothing but evil from this creep. Incidentally, my gut feelings are rarely wrong. These remarks are not just the musings of some rouge Elder but accurately represent the true feelings of the upper echelon of the Watchtower, i.e. the Governing Body itself.

    In my opinion, they are pure evil!

    Regards Bill,

    Freeman

  • AjaxMan
    AjaxMan

    So, I guess to these dimwits, all those who reported the abuses to the authorities are biting the helping hand.

    What a bunch of lying hypocrites!!!! Now, here they are, covering their butts by slandering the victims and the people standing up for them.

    Don't give up the fight, Bill!!!

    Make all of these jerks sweat it hard with the real TRUTH that you're fighting for.

    Regards,

    Ajax

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    I read that news article this morning Bill, and that line leapt out at me in all its outrageous glory. I fairly screamed at my computer, "If you had actually HELPED, she wouldn't be suing you now would she?!!!!"

    We all know that JW elders have no training giving them the tools needed to help anyone victimized, and if they try to help by following any society directives, then they further victimize. If they try to help by "going it on their own" w/o society directives, they'll most likely further victimize as well. It's a lose/lose scenario for victims who go to elders for help.

    and forcing her to confront a child molester with untrained lay ministers is another form of child rape.

    So true. And that has happened to just about every witness girl/woman ever sexually assaulted. It is heartwrenching to think that the majority of those women likely believe that the second assault was directed by God.

    Edited by - SixofNine on 1 September 2002 21:55:25

  • nancee park
    nancee park

    I had read it earlier but didn't have the link and some of the other readers just coming in on this thread would not have read it. So thanks for the link, Skully, and here's the text below. Brooklyn's hierarchy is nuts. Don't they see how cold that remark is! It's like saying

    "She was ungrateful that we didn't do what we should have about the raping.... after all, we big He-Men are "THE ANNOINTED!" who spoon feed her and those like her with delicious spiritual food in the Watchtower magazine! Most ungrateful that she should be suing us for rape and coverup!"

    Such arrogance. But they are determined to stay the course and have been pushing Bethelites to save, to not waste resources unnecessarily, etc for years now in anticipation that they will lose some big money. I got news for you, Jarasc, you will not only lose big buck from such arrogance but will continue losing it.

    It looks like you think because you're getting on to age 90 it doesn't matter what happens in the courts, that you're going to get your sweet reward in heaven before the verdicts start hitting. Well, maybe you'll pay big faster than you ever dreamed, and maybe when you're time for Jehovah's reward comes you won't get any. Remember, Saul was also "annointed" so don't play that game with us, pal! You and the rest of your apostate crowd will feel Caesar's sword in the courts, the banks and even a prison for just such arrogance.

    That's how I feel about this:

    September 1, 2002 www.torontosun.com REPORTER'S EMAIL: [email protected]Woman sues church

    Claims Jehovah's Witnesses hid sex abuse

    By BRODIE FENLON -- Toronto Sun

    A New Brunswick woman claims two Jehovah's Witness elders and the Canadian church hid the sexual abuse she says she suffered at the hands of her father.

    The woman, whose trial begins next Monday in Toronto, is suing the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Canada and two elders of her former congregation in Shelburne, just north of Orangeville, for $700,000.

    The church and elders Brian Cairns and Steve Brown deny any wrongdoing and plan to fight the action in court.

    The 31-year-old stay-at-home mom, whom The Sun won't name, says in her statement of claim that she was sexually abused by her father from age 11 to 14. The abuse was never reported.

    Years later, while working in Toronto as a live-in nanny, the woman claims she suffered from guilt and severe depression.

    She approached the elders in her Jehovah's Witness congregation, who turned for advice to church headquarters in Georgetown.

    INTERNAL HANDLING

    She says in her statement of claim that the main branch advised the case be dealt with internally by the Shelburne congregation and "advised the Toronto congregation three times not to report the abuse to the Children's Aid Society (CAS)."

    In her claim, the woman says that Cairns, Brown and the Watchtower Society:

  • Refused to report suspicions of child sex abuse to the CAS as required by Ontario law.
  • Conspired to hide or bury the charge internally.
  • Told the woman she didn't need psychiatric or psychological counselling as "God's way alone would be beneficial."
  • Forced the woman to confront her abuser and relive the abuse through repeated interrogation that caused her "permanent emotional injury."

    Church spokesman Clive Thomas said that while the church has sympathy for her case, the lawsuit is misdirected.

    "The elders were trying to provide her with spiritual help during a difficult time and the elders feel that she is basically biting the helping hand," he said.

    In their statement of defence, the defendants insist the elders "were instrumental in ensuring the matter was reported" to CAS by the father. No charges were ever laid.

    No one hindered the woman from seeking help from psychologists or psychiatrists, the statement of defence says.

    As well, the church argues the woman never sued her father, and never complained to the elders or church about how her case was handled until the lawsuit was filed in 1998.

    None of the allegations in either the claim or defence have been proven in court.

    'READY TO FIGHT THEM'

    "I have so much anger ... that I'm ready to fight them until the end," the woman said in an interview with The Sun.

    "They don't realize the damage that they have done to people and to myself," she said. "I don't care if you want to be a Jehovah's Witness. All I'm saying is that the way they deal with child abuse is wrong and it has to be stopped."

    Storm in the hall

    Jehovah's Witnesses deny secrecy in dealing with family sexual abusers

    By Brodie Fenlon -- Toronto Sun
    Jehovah's Witnesses vehemently condemn child abuse. But several victims from within the sect have gone public in recent months claiming that "monsters" are hiding behind the church's policy on handling child abuse.

    Critics say the policy favours secrecy and the redemption of the sinner at the expense of victims.

    The policy creates "a pedophile paradise," said Bill Bowen, of Kentucky, a former senior minister with the Watchtower and Bible Tract Society, who left in protest after 43 years.

    "There's a sly, devious evil that's happening ... and Witnesses are not even aware of it," said Bowen, who launched a victim support group in 2000 called Silent Lambs.

    Clive Thomas, spokesman for the Canadian church, said the accusations are unfair. While the church is concerned about the spiritual well-being of abusers, he said, "We care about children. We do not condone or take a soft view of child sexual abuse or any other abuse."

    Bowen said he's already heard from more than 5,000 victims of abuse since he set up his Web site (www.silentlambs.org/).

    The church keeps a database of all members accused of abuse at its world headquarters in Brooklyn, N.Y. Bowen said church sources have told him the database holds more than 23,700 names from the U.S., Canada and Europe. The church admits the database exists, but won't give a specific tally, saying only that the number is much lower.

    Some of the victims' stories -- of betrayal and coverups at the hands of church leaders -- have grabbed headlines in the U.S. and Britain. Bowen said the American church is facing seven lawsuits over the handling of claims of abuse.

    As The Toronto Sun has learned, the Canadian church is not immune to the growing scandal.

    A New Brunswick woman is scheduled to take the stand in a Toronto court next week in her lawsuit against the Canadian branch and two elders over allegations they concealed abuse she suffered when she approached them years later as an adult. The church denies the allegations.

    The Canadian church also keeps a database. Though Thomas wouldn't say how many are on it, he confirmed 12 abusers have been identified in Ontario in the last two years.

    In his book, Father's Touch, Donald D'Haene describes how he was repeatedly sodomized, fondled and abused in what his father called "a game."

    In 1973, a family member shared the secret with an elder in the family's Jehovah's Witness congregation in Aylmer. Following church protocol, elders investigated and spoke to the D'Haene children. The questions they asked were "cold, blunt, and matter of fact," D'Haene, 41, recalls in the book.

    His father confessed. The elders announced to the congregation that he was "disfellowshipped," or excommunicated from the church, but no reason was given. D'Haene's mom was also publicly rebuked for failing to come to church leaders.

    No one called police or Children's Aid.

    Donald D'Haene went to police several years later. In 1982, his father was convicted of three counts of gross indecency for what the judge called "indescribably vile acts."

    "Religion doesn't create monsters," D'Haene said. "Monsters use religion."

    Winnipeg's Shirley Hardiman was 11 in 1963 when she says her mom's boyfriend sexually abused her. Her mom reported it to elders of their Montreal congregation.

    "They told my mother to keep it quiet, to send me away," she says.

    Hardiman spent the next five years in foster care until she was reunited with her mother at age 16. Her abuser, who died 10 years ago, was never reprimanded by the church, she said.

    "There's this really strong belief that you can not do or say anything that brings shame on the organization," said Hardiman, 50, who now works as an abuse counsellor.

    Times have changed. Church elders in Canada are required by law to report allegations of sexual abuse to authorities and were ordered by the church in 1988 to comply with the law.

    "We abhor the molestation of children," the church says in a press release. "It is not just a terrible sin but also a crime ... We do not protect any perpetrator of such repugnant acts."

    While secular authorities are notified of allegations, the abuse is also investigated internally by elders, who are considered administrators of God's law.

    Elders are required first to contact church headquarters in Georgetown, where a lawyer instructs them on how to handle the allegations. Two elders are then appointed to investigate. Family members, the victim and the accused are interviewed, sometimes together, and explicit detail is sought.

    If the accused denies the abuse happened, the charge is dropped unless another witness can corroborate the story.

    That rule is based on the Biblical book of Deuteronomy: "No single witness should rise up against a man respecting any error or any sin."

    In effect, the child's accusation is dismissed unless another person saw the abuse or another child comes forward with an allegation against the same church member.

    "We are bound by the scriptures," Thomas said. "But we would still report it to the authorities with only one witness" so the victim gets "the protection of the secular authorities."

    But abuse is seldom reported in jurisdictions where there is no mandatory reporting requirement, Bowen said.

    If the pedophile confesses the sin, he is punished, often by disfellowship. A permanent confidential record is kept by the elders and the Georgetown office is notified. But the congregation is never told of the crime -- only the punishment.

    Family members and the victim are also forbidden from talking about abuse to other congregation members.

    Disfellowship, or excommunication, involves being shunned by the community and family for at least a year. The shunned member is still expected to attend meetings.

    Should a pedophile move to another congregation, elders there are notified and records transferred.

    Thomas said elders must protect the privacy of an accused, especially if he has repented, but are instructed to carefully monitor him and prevent him from being alone with kids.

    Bowen, who was excommunicated last month after being found guilty of "causing divisions," decried the process, noting the cloak of secrecy allows pedophiles to go door to door "witnessing" without anyone but the elders in the know. The requirement of two witnesses is ridiculous in cases of sex abuse, he said. And though elders may be well-meaning, they aren't trained to question or handle victims, he said.

    JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES

  • A Christian sect with 6 million members (110,000 in Canada).
  • Founded in the 1870s as a Bible study group by Pastor Charles Taze Russell.
  • Witnesses do not celebrate Christmas or Easter. They believe Armageddon is imminent and that they will survive.
  • Witnesses believe taking blood into the body through the mouth or veins violates God's law, and thus they shun blood transfusions.
  • They will not swear allegiance to any organization or nation. As a result, Witnesses will not join the armed forces, sing the national anthem, vote in elections or run for public office.
  • johnny cip
    johnny cip

    imagine that :the child being molested is BITING THE HAND THAT FEEDS. I CAN SEE THE CHILD NOW BITING ,SCREAMING, AND SAYING WHY JEHOVAH, IS HE TAKING ME BY THE ONE HAND AND STICKING HIS HAND IN MY PANTS WITH THE OTHER ....IF THE KID WAS SMART SHE WOULD BITE OFF THE THIRD FINGER IN BETWEEN THE LEGS. JUST MAYBE THEN THE CHILD WOULD HAVE A SECOND WITNESSES....

  • nancee park
    nancee park

    In fact, I think that quote deserves to be brought out at the Press Conferences and Silentlambs march rally.

    CBS, CNN, Fox etc might want to broadcast some of this if they're invited!

    Also, some of us are going to be putting "silentlambs.org" somewhere on letters when we mail in our bills each month, etc to also publicise the cause. Please pass that idea along, Bill, Skully and all.

    This will be kept before the public eye and EVERYBODY will become fully aware of it. If anyone can translate these things in Brazilian, that'd be good, since that's where the Watchtower Society has kept growing the most since so many are so poor and don't have computers there to learn of the pedophile scandal, the secret U.N. liason etc.

  • johnny cip
    johnny cip

    I,M just waiting for some hungry district attorney , to put all these asanine wt pr men quotes together . and surpeona all these wt jack-asses to court and make fools of them and give them what they deserve . ever lasting life in cell block C .there they can worship their new god BIG BUBBA AND HIS DISCIPLES. ALL CAN BE SURE BUBBA AND THE BOYS, WILL TEACH THESE WT FLUNKY THE FINER ART OF MOLESTATION.......!!!!!!!!!!

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