by minimus 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • RubyTuesday

    When i was around elders,sex was the farthest thing from my mind...Yuck!!

  • Prisca

    LOL @ Ruby Tuesday - I totally agree!!

  • Hyghlandyr

    frankly I dont know why everyone is objecting to this. People in close situations do form close bonds. When those people have the potential to be sexually interested in one another, regardless of gender, then sometimes, often in fact, sex is a result. Now myself I find the concept of being upset about sex silly. But the fact remains it is against many religions viewpoints for unmarried people to have sex. So the suggestion to not be alone with a sister isnt unreasonable. And in any kind of situation like that, forget romance, it also makes sense to prevent false allegations.

  • Beck_Melbourne

    Hyghlandyr: I agree, I do not see it as an unreasonable condition regarding their shepherding procedures.

    I particularly liked Tammy's comment:

    This is a normal psychological feeling between counselor/patient called transference and counter-transference. The thing is, it can happen between a same sex counselor/patient too, although not as often. Yet they never warn elders about that aspect of it. These poor guys are so under-educated and ill-equipped when it comes to playing shrink. The WTBTS is setting them up for failure.

    This is the point of course. I knew many sisters that were infatuated with my ex...he had a charismatic personality...such a shame the rest of him was all a**hole. Point is that he thought it was because he was a charming stud muffin, truth is the sisters were delusional LOL.


  • rmayer32

    We had an elder back in the 70's that ran off with a 13 year old girl he knocked up, thus leaving his wife and children behind. Of course today his ass would in a real sling legal wise, but I guess he forgot about this little piece of not calling on sisters alone.


  • Beck_Melbourne


    I guess he's the reason why they introduced the change LOL. Where ya been anyway?? Haven't seen you posting in while....WB!


  • rmayer32

    Hey Beck,

    Took a little vacation so I tried successfully for a while to stay away from work and computers


  • bay64me

    Crimpolene hipsters (circa 1971) and six inch lapels on double breasted jackets, bobbly socks and well worn, often-repaired ministry shoes was the attire of a certain elder that came to my "aid"

    NO, NO, NO, that did nothing for me!

  • Dismembered

    Plus WTBS know that "elders" have no self-control, and will immediately entertain bad thoughts. And that they are sex pigs.

  • Scully

    There are a couple of very good reasons for this policy:

    a) an elder who meets alone with a sister can be accused of sexual impropriety and he would have no defense, just a "he said-she said" situation;

    b) there is also a witness to the discussion that took place - in the event that counsel was given, you have someone available that can corroborate the discussion

    Whenever I have a patient in hospital receive a visit from their doctor, I always try to accompany the physician. That way, if the patient misunderstands the doctor's instructions, I've heard what he or she has said and am in a position to clarify any questions the patient has. The patient also cannot say "Doctor So-and-So told me that I can go home now/have a shot of morphine/etc." when he didn't, because I was there. The doctor is protected from any false sexual harassment charges by my being there. The patient feels a sense of security that I will not allow anything improper to take place. I document the visit and any verbal instructions that are given.

    It's a CYA situation, all around.

    When my dad was an elder, I asked him whether he kept notes of any 'shepherding calls' that he made. Apparently it was not allowed to do that. I told him it would be foolish of him NOT to do it, regardless of what the WTS instructed. A single frivolous lawsuit against him would leave him destitute, and the WTS would not likely provide any financial support. Documentation and having someone to corroborate the documentation would be the only things that would keep him in the clear.

    Elders have to learn to keep their butts covered. Most of them operate under the assumption that the Society will step in and protect them if someone falsely charges them with sexual harassment or anything else. They couldn't be more mistaken. They will be hung out to dry.

    I don't know if this is the case everywhere, but my husband and I were talking about how in almost every congregation we were in, almost all of the elders were homeowners. Very few of them were renters. It made us wonder whether this was a clever way for the WTS to 'wash their hands' of any financial responsibility in cases of improper handling of judicial cases. The wronged individual sues the WTS, but the WTS claims "Your problem is with Elders X, Y and Z who made the decision. Sue them, not us." Elders X, Y and Z, in a large enough lawsuit or settlement, could lose their homes, while the WTS is laughing its ass off all the way to the bank....

    Just my morning musings....

    Love, Scully

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