Disadvantages since leaving the truth?

by haujobbz 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  haujobbz

  Since leaving the jws reality can be hard to get used to these are somethings i found hard to adapt to:

  1) Starting to celebrate celebrations like birthdays and christmas(i dont mean that christmas is a disadvantage its just getting used to the whole idea)

  2) Tell others im not a jw because all i used to do is try to convert them and now im telling them i was mislead and dont beleive it anymore.

  3) should i swear,lie,etc

  4) realising that future isnt as clear as i thought it was (but im glad i know the truth)

  5) adapting to reality
• 

  outnfree

  I think the hardest two for me were:

  1/ I AM gonna die. (Absolutely no chance that Armageddon will come in my day and I'll live through it)

  2/ I was stupidly duped and the resulting embarrassment of having to admit what a fool I was. (Especially when so many of my relatives tried to TELL me I was being duped!)

  But I'm still thankful to be gone. Oh, yeah!

  out
• 

  LyinEyes

  I can think of only a few disadvantages. I heard from the one sister in my ex congregation who still and will always speak to me, an older sister died, and one has breast cancer. These are things I would have liked to know about. The old sister who died ,was my hubby best friends in the JW grannie. I plan on sending the sister with cancer a card anyway. At least she will know I still love her. So that is hard, being cut off from all of them, most I am glad to be away, but some I still care about.

  The other thing is my hubby telling his work assoiciates who are JW's , many scattered thru the US, that we are d/a. Then they will not work him and this is our llively hood. Of course we can make new contacts , but for 10 years this tight network of brothers, who help each other out and invite them to work if it hailed in their home town. We just don't know how that will work out.

  And last but not least,,,,,,,,,,,LOL , having to explain to teachers , why we were in a cult and feeling like a fool. How embarrassing!!!
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  gsx1138

  My biggest disadvantages came right after I was DF'd. I had no tools to deal with the real world and I didn't know anyone.

  I can honestly say though that I am a much better person now than when I was a JW. There is nothing advantagous about being a JW. Well except for the somewhat instant acceptance regardless of the KH you go to.
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  lv4fer

  Having to start all over making new friends.

  Forgiving myself for being duped. How could I have been so stupid! My kids missed out on so much.

  Not having someone tell me what I can and cannot do. Oh my gosh I have to make my own decisions now as to what is right and wrong and if I'm not sure I have to read the bible and see what God says on the matter not the governing body.
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  Valis

  1) Starting to celebrate celebrations like birthdays and christmas(i dont mean that christmas is a disadvantage its just getting used to the whole idea)

  This is an easy one and you will soon find that its not just the celebrating. Its much more than that...truly sharing and giving of yourself to others is the real crux of the matter and something JWs know little if anything about. It will come easy, just give it a whirl...BTW Halloween is my favorite holiday..its the only time of year I get to be the non freak..*L*

  2) Tell others im not a jw because all i used to do is try to convert them and now im telling them i was mislead and dont beleive it anymore.

  Tell them EXACTLY WHY and most people will understand. Most normal folks don't like to have thier intelligence insulted 24/7 either and you might find more sympathy than one would expect.

  3) should i swear,lie,etc

  If you have the propensity to swear then eventually your vocabulary will change in that direction...Your vocabulary will most likely change anyway, as you are now free to read other material of worth without looming guilt. Lying is something altogether different. Where swearing is a matter of ettiquite, lying is a separate ethical dillema and very situational IMO.

  4) realising that future isnt as clear as i thought it was (but im glad i know the truth)

  Not so! Now that you are out, the future is bright as day..you are born, you become a dubbie, you escape Plato's cave, live a happy life and then you die and return to the earth and get scattered accross the universe. What more could one ask for?

  5) adapting to reality

  Dude, even after so many years out I adapt to reality every day, because its rarely the same! I just remember that its mine to interpret and I wouldn't have it any other way.

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
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  haujobbz

  RE: valis

  Thanks for your interesting reply

  Im gonna be celebrating christmas for the first time this year and im looking forward to giving and sharing

  Good view of halloween is to use that day to be a freak (watta do you mean im always a freak lol)

  I have told many i left and most say im glad to hear that, although its quite embarrasing somedays

  I suppose having a clear vision is the weirdest one and even though you say we get scattered across the universe its still hard to get to grips with that we live a precious life which is then destroyed at death

  Dont get me wrong im very happy with my life but on occasions i get confused pondering over the meaning of life,if you met me you would see that im a very happy individual and also a thinker

  Anyhow thanks for your enlightenment

  Haujobbz
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  Sentinel

  Hi Julian,

  Your post reply describes exactly how my situation was. It took me quite awhile to find myself too. But I have absolutely no regrets. Most of my problems were due to "reflex thinking" from so many years with the JDubs. My brain had to be "retrained".

  Karen
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  DJ

  For me there was only one disadvantage. I had to stop feeling superior to the world....humility can be rough.
• 

  sleepy

  Disadvantages since leaving the truth?

  1.I got a whole load of meeting clothes and no where to wear them.

  2.What do I do Tuesday Thursday saturday Sunday, what just have fun?

  3.No where to use my catchy introductions on the ministry.

  4.Uh.Now I have to buy toilet roll.