I may get a visit from the P.O. :(

by crownboy 31 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  crownboy

  I think I may have a potential problem on my hand. Over the last year or so, I've been attempting to go the slow fade route with the JW religion. For the most part I've succeded, as my significant decrease in JW related activities has been greeted only by brief "pep talks" by my parents at worse. I've been pretty inconspicious, and no one seemed to notice except for one or two of the "friends" at the bookstudy (which I hardly ever go to anymore ).

  However, last night I was informed by my mother that the PO (and my BS conductor, or is that overseer? ) wants to have a "serious talk" with me about my "lack of enthusiasm for the truth" as of late. Of course, I wasn't actually at the meeting last night to hear this straight from the PO (I was actually reading David Hume's Dialouges on Religion ).

  My question is, how do you guys think I should handle this situation? I live with my JW parents and have no desire to "cause divisions" in the household. My parents have no idea why I don't go to meetings that much anymore (I mainly use work or school as an excuse), and I simply want to be left alone. Coming from a family that's brimming over with JW's, "coming out" does not seem like a viable option right now (at least not as long as I live with my parents, which may be for another 2 years), so I don't want to go tell the elders about my true feelings about "the truth" (much less the bible and god ). However, I feel that if I simply agree with whatever tripe the PO will undoubtedly spew, that I may be expected to "amend my ways" and start feeling great pressure to go to meetings more, and especially go out in service (by having pre-arranged schedules for working with "stronger ones").

  So, is there a way to approach this meeting with me not coming out weilding a DA letter, or agreeing to be a good JW again? Is it possible for there to be a way to get out of the meeting "unscaved"? I figure I could simply say "my life is very hectic lately" or something along those lines, but I don't know. Any suggestions?
• 

  Elsewhere

  My advice... keep you're mouth shut!

  They will be trying to find something wrong with you. If they ask about your feelings on certain things, politly decline to answer.

  Ideally, you will POLITELY decline the visit itself. Thanks, but no thanks! NEVER make any statements, not even something like "I appreciate you comming by, but I don't think I really need a visit from you...". That could be interpreted as "Not following jehovah's arrangements".

  If you start hearing rumors about you being "bad accociation", "kindly" remind them about the WT articles about Gossip and Slander.
• 

  peaceloveharmony

  sorry crownboy, sucky situation.

  i'd plead stress, not feeling well, etc but that you still believe but just need some time....or something along those lines.

  good luck!
• 

  LyinEyes

  Sorry for your prediciment ,, must be hard still living at home and trying to fade out.

  Do what the WT leaders do...............LIE,, make up anything you want,,,,,,,,, you don't owe them any explaination, but since they will come to visit you anyway,,,,,, just nod your head, say yeah yeah, your right, ok,,,,,,, thanks, and see you Sunday.... ............ THEN DONT GO!!!!!!!!

  Blow em off,,,,,,,,,,,,,,tell them you have something eles to do thatday, and the visit can't last long.

  If I were living at home , I would go this route, until I was out on my own and could tell them to kiss off. Just me,,,,,,,,,,,my opinion,,,,,,,, but right now ,, i am really in a rage over elders, and the WT.

  You could serve them the exlax brownies...... at least you would have a smile on your face and they would think it was because of their wonderful loving counsel.......hhahah FOOLS they are!!
• 

  Elsewhere

  There ya go! Peace hit the nail on the head! "Not feeling well", "down", etc... Be VAUGE.
• 

  RunningMan

  I find it's always best to let them find some inoccuous little fault - say for example, busy with work. Then they can categorize you as non-dangerous and move on to the encouragement.

  Then, let them give you the old pep talk, promise to try harder, and go to the next two or three meetings. Then slack off again.

  This will buy you at least another six months. It can then be repeated. Eventually, you get a reputation as a slacker and they get tired of dealing with you.

  Sometimes, the "slow fade" requires a pseudo activation to get them off your back and to "fully establish your slackerhoodistry".
• 

  amac

  There are a couple routes you can take...you could use the "hectic life" excuse in which case you will get a lot of reminders and encouragement (at least you should if they are doing their job) of how important the meetings are and you will have to say "yeah, I know, I know" a lot.

  Or you could tell them that you have a lot of questions and are having a tough time so you have resolved to study the bible closely, and pray a lot and wait on Jehovah for answers. That is what I have done. I am on a 10 year rampage of thoroughly studying the bible before I can come to any conclusions.

  For me, neither of these are lies and they wouldn't be for most people on this board, but its a good way to avoid saying anything that can be used against you. I, for one, will not let them DF me.
• 

  amac

  All good responses...Runningman is spot on!
• 

  Elsewhere

  10 year rampage of thoroughly studying the bible

  LOL, that's funny!
• 

  StinkyPantz

  You're between a rock and a hard place. I would just tell them that you've been busy or even lazy and you'll try to do better. Then go to a couple of meetings and start "fading" again. It'll take them another couple months to pester you again. Keep doing this until you move out. (How old are you btw?)

  As far as them setting up times for you to go out with "stronger" ones (I had that one happen). Just keep postponing, they eventually leave you alone.