I NEED your advice!!!!! Please reply!

by worldly girl 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • garybuss

    I wouldn't let a JW within a million miles of my children if I had it to do over again. I let my JW parents have access to my children and they taught my children that I am bad association and two of my sons shun me today because of it.

    Witnessism is a disease and JWs carry the virus. Beware!


  • xenawarrior

    WG- this is a really awful and hurtful place to be. Unfortunately, THIS very scenario is the very one that keeps folks in- their strongest "hold" on people. You have been there and know this well. To see it through the real manifestations of it can be a blurry picture.

    Yes, when your children are older, they will use the same kind of guilt tactics they have used on you- on them. It's what they know.

    It's their belief system- what they believe to be right. I'm certain that it is infuriating to know what you know now and to be comfortable with the fact that anyone is believing this stuff.. They aren't there. They probably never will be. It is their belief system and- good, bad or indifferent (for them) it is what guides them.

    With that said- what does that mean for you and your children? They registered their initial "programmed" reaction to the situation but know somewhere that they still need contact. That is a step- even if a very small one in the right direction- as long as their intentions are honorable. If their need is to see their grandchildren - then you might want to think about setting some boundaries about that- "yes, have a relationship with them as valuable folks in their lives but check your religion at the door" If they are willing to honor that, then you know that what they are looking for is a true relationship with your children. If not, and their motive is to "protect" these lilttle sheep-you'll know very quickly and can intervene and end it all.

    This is all very painful stuff WG. For you to be trying to deal with the emotions of protecting your children while at the same time dealing with the pain that the grief of the loss of your parents to your represents is a very tight spot to be in. Very hard to detach from it all. My heart goes out to you.

    But you know from whence you came. And you know you do not want your children to be there.

    Your parents are acting out of a belief system that was systematically installed in them (and you from them) and is very very strong. I don't believe they are trying to harm- just following their belief. You, though, need to protect yourself from the adverse affects of their belief systems and protect your children likewise.

    Many hugs at you!!!!


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