by minimus 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    Being raised as a Witness, I was taught to have nothing to do with worldly people. As long as they were not dedicated, baptized worshippers of Jehovah, they were considered as wicked ones that would soon be destroyed at Armaggedon. In school and later, at work, I tried to keep a safe distance from anyone not a Witness. Of course, we were encouraged to even beware of those "in the truth". Many were not too strong in the faith, so they also had to be watched and avoided, lest we be contaminated by any bad association.Were you affected by these rules on bad association? Were you considered bad association??

  • finnrot

    Hi minimus, I was is and am, bad association. When I was growing up I wanted to be accepted by my peers, I didn't particurally like being the odd J.W. geek.

    I was smart enough to get out when I was 16 years old and all my J.W. relatives would consider me bad association. But funny enough, my daughters are beautiful well adjusted college students, and all my J.W. relatives are uneducated out of wedlock no moral morons, with no future. They are all waiting for grandma to die so they can get their hands on some money, but she's doing her best to hang on 'til armageddon.


  • WhyNow2000

    I was considered to be unspiritual for attending university.

  • glitter

    I think my family was/still is- and I honestly can't think why they thought that! I was only little when I realised and it really hurt me then and was the first thing that made me think they are bad associations! I used to look around the hall during a meeting and I just couldn't believe those people believed the same things I did!

    I doubt this was common knowledge in the congregation as no JWs live close to us and we were the only JWs at our school, but my mum never stopped us playing out with *good* worldly kids and though she dumped some of her friends when she was studying she always stayed in contact with her best friend (since she was 12) but she has never placed mags with her as far as I know.

  • In_between_days

    I was never allowed to hang out with "worldly" kids at all - no school camps, competitive sports, ect. I had some really good friends that I loved in high school, and they were constantly asking me out to their get togethers. I was never allowed.

    Funny though, because the best friends I have now are "worldly' ones, whereas all my JW friends dont have much to do with me. When I was in, I was treated terribly by alot of my "Good" associate friends. The last JW party I had, I had one worldly (Studying) boyfriend there. (is now my husband), and he could'nt believe how badly behaved the dubs were. I had around 10 cds stolen that night, people were snogging all over the place, and everyone was plastered.

    Needless to say, he was'nt too impressed with their conduct. he stopped his study shortly after, but this was only a very small part of the reason.

    Aaah.... those good, wholesome dub associates!

  • blondie

    Did I allow bad associations? No. But I did associate with non-witnesses.

    We selected people that were fun, considerate of others, loving, kind, honest, trustworthy. Some JWs did not qualify and some non-JWs didn't. We did not demonize people just because they weren't JWs and we didn't automatically consider all JWs holy.

    Each person has a set of personal values and ethics and seeks others that share those values. Thus, if you feel strongly about not stealing, it will be hard to hang out with thieves and believe me I have some in my family, some even serving time in the big house.

    We can hang out with people if we chose to agree to disagree about certain things. In my family it was a rule never to discuss religion or politics. The only debates were over which was the best baseball team, etc.

    I am comfortable around my workmates, my relatives, the neighbors, etc., and they around me. I care about their feelings, their goals, their needs, and ways I can help in a practical way.

    So I say we all choose our associates using the values we consider essential to determine if they are "bad" or "good."

  • Scarlet

    I was not allowed to have any wordly friends. When I started dating a wordly guy my parents flipped out. I wasn't good association because I had a mind of my own and would give my opinions. I also never regular pioneered. In my hall if you were a woman and didn't regular pioneer you were considered bad association. The sisters would only work in service with you or speak to you to encourge you to regular pioneer.

  • blondie

    That's too bad, Scarlet. I was given more leeway because my father was not a JW. As far as the regular pioneer part, yes, if others perceive you as "able" to pioneer and you don't...you will be labeled.

    I take it that was when you were younger and still living at home. Parents find it hard to accept you have grown up and have ideas different from theirs whether they are JWs or not. I said in another thread that sometimes all we can do is agree to disagree.

    I hope you have found some soulmates along the road to life, Scarlet, people you feel comfortable sharing your opinions with.

  • Beck_Melbourne

    Apparently it was "bad association" which was meant to have been my downfall.

    I'll take bad association any day over their 'wholesome' association.


  • LyinEyes

    I had a thought but Beck's wolf is mesmerizing me,,, or stalking me ....he had me spell bound with that little two step he has going on girl!!!

    Ok , I think I remember the question. I was an elders daughter, my dad tried to keep me away from all bad associations. But thank God, they sent me to school to be around some normal people. I was pretty good until high school,,,, I made friends fast at school. But to tell you the truth it was the ones who were JW's too, that were the worst association. Even my so called " worldly" friends didnt do the things we did. We used to race our cars down this dark curvy road, while drinking and smoking, tried to go in liquor store and buy it, almost got law called on us. We would go in the bath room at the kingdom hall and if no one was in there we would talk our trash talk and cuss every other word and make plans on more trouble to get into. It's a wonder we lived to tell any of this.

    So really I was bad association, even to the good "worldly" kids,,,,,,,, just no one knew just me and a couple of my JW best friends. We are all out know and curse the days we wasted feeling guilty for what we had done.

Share this