by Vivamus 20 Replies latest social relationships
Viv
I was 43 when they kicked me out. If it had of been when i was 20, it would have been a different story. Also, i immediately spent 2 yrs among born againers (pentacostlists). At 45 i discovered that the bible wasn't from god. That's when all rules basically went out the widow. Still, my way of life hasn't changed much since then.
SS
No change for me...........I was married before and I am married now!
ISP
I was pretty uninhibited and well educated before I was a JW,so when I was baptised I had to reign myself in quite a bit...
Hmmmmm....
{scratches head thoughtfully....}
Since this board seems such a hotbed of conflict lately...I wonder if I could use this to springboard into an 'us vs them' with the whole 'born into' vs 'joined later' thing....
Oh, sure...
"Us 'born into's are more emotionally scarred than you 'joined later's!! So there!! "
Every ex-JW I've met around my age (23) is extremely sexual or they're sexually confused.
Viv: I am offended by this question when you are currently raising our children.
Seriously tho', of course folks have different sex drives and of course people are going to screw around when they get out. Why don't you tell us what your adventures have been? Do you have any funny stories of your post-JW physical pursuits?
Goodboy.
I left the Borg, am going through a divorce and am celibate. At 53, any days of sexual wildness are gone. I've always enjoyed sex but learned long ago that is what you make of it. I have also learned that if it is the basis of your relationship, then you have nothing. If things aren't going good outside the bedroom, then sex will not make it better. If you have a great relationship going, then even the most mediocre lover can be like a real stud muffin.
To me, though, the real pleasure of sex came from pleasing my partner.
Lew W
Vivamus,
As far as genes vs. environment, I'd say it's a mix. Genes for the base (orientation) but environment plays a big role in later development.
As an anology: environment will shape our preferences in food. In many countries people eat beef. In certain lands to do so is to profane one's religion. Or John the Baptist. He lived on locusts, yet the average person in countries where this isn't common would be repelled by eating them unless they were starving.
So, I have a few questions, did any of you become sexually wild after you left the Borg? And if so ... did you settle down after a while, are there any regrets over the wild period? Or, were you always wild, and being in the Borg just made you feel miserable because you couldn't act on it? Or, did your views on sex didn't change at all?
I'd started sowing my wild oats before I was a JW. Then I settled down. Now I'm wild again. I didn't feel miserable because I felt the restraint was the right thing to do. I did feel bad at the conflict within me that took years to resolve and the pain it's brought myself and others, but I'm not sure I can blame that on the Society. At least not the WBTS alone.
And for those who became wild--maybe that was the pendulum swinging (no pun intended) in the opposite direction?
Xander noted there might be interesting differences based on whether someone was born into the religion versus joining later. Others might be the length of time a person was in it, the rank acheived, how they left (and if it applies, as in DF'ing or DA'ing, why), male vs. female.
Maybe this would be good for someone's college thesis.
Sex? Did I hear anybody say sex?????
Is the term reverse psychology applicable for us who have been in the Borg?
Oh, absolutely Viv! I feel there is an ultimate seductive appeal to that which you want but you do not have, either by choice or by circumstance. And for a JW, that of course means ANYTHING remotely sexual. Once those inhibitions are broken down, look out!
Okay, on the subject of sex...
The 'world' is not nearly as sexual as the JW mentality would tell you. To the contrary, JW beliefs on sex are just amplifications of how society feels about sex. Of course, we all know this already. Just sometimes we forget that the JW beliefs are not all that wacky.
So how does 'the world' feel about sex?
Here are some points that reveal a lot:
1) Nakedness is automatically equated with sex
2) Sex is considered selfish
3) Sex strictly within marriage is considered commitment
I think that these are 3 reasons to be vary wary of the traditional approach to sexuality. In reality, the traditional approach serves to enhance sexual desire, not stifle it. Here is the (undeclared) goal: reproduce as much as possible! That explains the commitment, eh? 'Keep at it until she's pregnant, boy!'
Thinking about it this way helps put things into perspective. So what is my view of sex? I am not having a terrific amount of sex with multiple partners (just one for now). But I'll tell you what I do not want.
I do not want to get shoved into a thoughtless marriage because I am curious about having sex with a female.
I do not want to be involved with a girl who has replaced most of her sexual desire with a desire for high social status.
I do not want to feel ashamed of my desires.
cellmould
