by recneps 31 Replies latest jw friends
RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dated a JW girl for a while and it was pure MADNESS! No matter how nice of a person you are, you will always be looked down on by her family and friends for not being one of 'them'. RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bboy
Perhaps I am reading it wrong but this "girl" is 24 years old he is 15. I see this as an attempt to "help" him into the truth. If indeed it is a realtionship as in boyfriend/girlfriend I can see I&P's anger even more so.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=34535&site=3
Spencer
May I also add while doing your research not only focus on today's teachings but the entire history of the JW faith? You will find numerous predictions of the end of the world, miracle wheat, vaccinations forbidden and the suffering of so many because the men who claim to be guided by Jehovah receive "new light" constantly.
Don't forget to check into aluminum foil teachings.
Edited by - cassiline on 14 August 2002 13:26:57
Hi Spencer, our youngest son was 17 when we slowed up in our attendance at the KH. My husband had been an elder for 25 years, (he resigned earlier that year) and I had been a regular pioneer for several years. We learned much through a great deal of research, over a 5 year period, that convinced us Jehovah's Witnesses are far from being the "truth". I won't go into that now. Too long a discussion. But our plan was to fade away.............and not be disfellowshipped.
Our son, Dan, still wanted to be a witness, and we didn't object because it was his choice, and he was nearly 18. We also thought he would ask us eventually why we weren't going, which he had never done. He had a great deal of responsibility in the congregation, and was on his way to being a "star" in the local KH. One night, as he was working behind the literature counter, he overheard a discussion about us.............clearly not meant to be heard by him. He was very troubled by their cruelty, because we were not disfellowshipped, but were merely backing away..........there had been much gossip, though about why we weren't coming much anymore. Before the meeting began, an elder approached him and told him how proud they were of him for continuing to attend, although his parents were not proving loyal to Jehovah. He smiled, but inside was raging. He went to his seat, picked up his bookbag and walked out. When he got home, he threw his bag across the room, and said he would NEVER go again. Then he began to sob and told me the whole story. (his father was in Japan, working for two months) so I had to handle this. He told me all about what they said, and how hurt he was, and didn't they think he loved his parents, and how can they say you aren't loyal to Jehovah?
After that, he wanted to know what we knew, and to this day he has never gone inside a KH again.
I hope you don't experience the pain our son did, of hearing the slander against us. We are still not disfellowshipped or disassociated, even though it is nearly 6 years later from that incident. Our son is now nearly 23, and finished college, and was married last year, to a girl he met in college.
All I can suggest to you, Spencer, is that your mother loves you like no one ever will in your life. She wants what is best for you, and is not trying to keep something good from you. I hope you will listen to her and ask questions.
I wish you all the best, kiddo.
Wait a minute! 24??? Something fishy is going on here.
Something just ain't right about a 24 year old hanging out with a 15 year old. That's not an insult to you Spencer, either. I'll bet you are a very mature fifteen year old. But I'll also bet that she ain't a very mature 24 year old if she doesn't have the common sense to recognize the major age difference and the total lack of appropriateness of a close relationship with a teenager. And it sounds as if she is encouraging a minor child (which is how you are legally viewed as long as you don't kill someone) to lie to his mother. She and her friend ought to learn to play with kids their own age. It's a GIANT red flag that they choose instead to hang out with someone who is almost ten years younger than them! Frankly, she sounds deficient and creepy to me and I think you should steer clear of people who blur the line. ESPECIALLY if they want something from you...(even if it is "for your own good" ha ha)
It's no good. It ain't right, I'm telling you! If you want to learn about the witnesses, fine. But I'd lose the psycho 24 year old weirdos, if I were you.
recneps: The only advice I will offer is to keep an open mind about both sides for now. Oh and please, don't get baptized until you have at least finished college. Mulan that was an excellent post!
I posted this topc at two in the morning, and when I woke up a few hours later, I had found that many people were willing to share their advice and experiences with me. For that I thank you all.
As for her being 24, this isn't a romantic relationship; she is my cousin. It is an odd situation to be in, I'll say that; but I think with all of the help I have recieved, I can make an educated and wise descision. I'm really beginning to think that the witnesses are detrimental and poisonous people. I simply can't ignore all of these stories of people getting burned by the jw's. I truly feel that this is more or less a once-in-awhile relationship, where I can talk to her emotionally when she needs me to talk to her emotionally. In other words, I kinda feel like a crutch.
I stayed up last night thinking about this, wrestling with this issue in my head. I realized that my mother is the most important, kind, and level-headed person that I know. But I feel that this witness will wind up hurting me anyway. I've seen this person's other relationships with other people, and they always end in shambles. I know that my mom is right...she always has been.
Again, thanks to everyone for everything, it has really helped me. It's good to know that the internet isn't just a bunch of whackos.
I must have overlooked the girl being your cousin and 24 info when I posted. Having that now, I would suspect she has an agenda of "saving you" from your mother's "corrupting" influence. Your last post seems very sensible and will probably be the best decision.
Path
Hey Spencer, I hope I got your name right. My name is Dede and I have a 15 yr old son. His name is Jake. We left the Jehovah's Witnesses about a year ago and have just last week told them we no longer want to be associated with them in name, because of what the organziation is doing to people. The life stories you have read and advice from others before me all are true. We all went thru the same pain being witnesses. I was raised a witness and have been all my life,,, and most of that was utterly miserable. My son, Jake , never went to school, I homeschooled him, and he never got to do anything normal kids do. Right before we left being JW he got seriously withdrawn and depressed, I knew this was coming for I went thru it too, some friends he was allowed to play with in our neighborhood would share their lives with him and he realized how hollow his was in so many ways. Well , he is in school today, it is the third day for him, Kelly and Chance. He is #21 on his football team, and has been practicing hard for 2 weeks now. He got his books, and class list yesterday. He is looking forward to making good grades , and wants to have victory for the bulldogs(his team mascot) this friday, it will be his first game. This has made such a difference in his life, he feels normal, he feels like there is a place for him now, he is happier than I have ever seen him.
He has "scoped " out a few girl and is wondering what talking to them face to face is going to be like, or asking them to homecoming . He was so sheltered by us, this is all new to him.
When we sat Jake down a year ago and told him what was going on, why we were leaving the JW"s he said "Thank God,,,,,,,, Ihave been hating going to those meetings for over a year now, and I know they are full of crap". My husband and I looked at each other and wondered why this child saw the lies before we did. He is very intellegent , like you are and mature in mind for his age. He started telling us stuff , that blew our minds about what he really beleived in. So our exit with all of our kids was a blessing for them, I never knew , and Jake and I are very close, that he hated it so much. He sure put up a good show, and it was tearing him apart.
This is just part of our story, but you are young and have so much ahead of you, you are wise to want to figure things out on your own. We told Jake if he wanted to go back to meeting or any other church that was his choice. I think at you guys age, you can make alot of choices responsibly on your own, and i know your mom will always be there to guide you in anyway. But like others said,do becareful of JW's they have and are continuing to destory lives. When you walk into a kingdom hall all you see is the pretty stuff, dig deeper on JW, study what they have done in the past, what they are doing now. Never take anyones word for anything, find it out yourself. I wish you the best.
Hugs, Dede, Jake's mom
no time to stay but i want to say to all of you wonderful people who repsonded to my son...
you may have saved his life today.
thank you.
i love you all.
