hi, I'm incense's son...need help

by recneps 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • recneps

    I know that my mom frequents these boards a lot, she says it has really helped her deal with her pain caused by the JW's. I figured maybe you could help me out too.

    I'll start by saying that I'm fifteen, and that I am in an unfavorable situation concerning my relationship with a witness. My mom doesn't feel comfortable with me talking to this person, and she says that it is a bad thing to be talking to her. She says that the witnesses are manipulative and crafty people, and that I should steer clear of them. I want to heed my mom's advice, yet I feel that I want to learn on my own what is so bad about the witnesses. I hoped some of the people here could help me as well. Could you please share with me your experiences and your thoughts on the witnesses? Is this a beneficial thing for me to be doing?

    Thanks in advance.

  • DakotaRed

    Hi recneps and welcome.

    Look at what you Mom has gone through and listen to her. Many of our experiences are quite lengthy and posted throughout the board. If you click on members above and choose a posters name, you can go back and review all the posts that person did. Feel free to review mine, if you so wish.

    I admire your desire to learn on your own, but be very cautious dealing with an active witness. First and foremost to them is getting another body baptized and sucked into the dubs. If you grow up and marry one, be prepared to have elders in the middle of your life controlling and directing whatever you choose to do in your own home.

    I don't blame the individual witness so much as I do their brainwashing that bringing new members in gains them salvation.

    Another good site with much information on the religion can be found at www.watchtowerobserver.org. & www.freeminds.org is another good one too. Good luck with your search and if you have any specific questions or comments, pleaase feel free to post them.

    Lew W

    Edited by - DakotaRed on 14 August 2002 4:10:51

  • Incense_and_Peppermints

    hi everyone. i talked this out with my son and rather than forbid him from talking to danielle, thereby making her "forbidden fruit", i would allow him to come to this board and see for himself just how jacked jehovah's witnesses are. i know he's only 15, but he's pretty smart and mature for his age. please don't hold anything back. be honest with him about what jehovah's witnesses have done to you (bad or good). he will be reading everyone's posts for a while, so he can see for himself the pain and evil wrought by the watchtower society. then he can make his own decision. my fear was that he would be sucked into their cult and i cannot allow that. so i will have to let him read and formulate his own opinions. thank you for your help. p.s. his name is spencer.


  • Reborn2002

    Hi recneps, and welcome.

    I know this may sound like something you do not want to hear, but please.. listen to your mother.

    Many of the people you find or talk to on this board are no where near your age, and you may feel they do not relate to you.

    I am probably one of the few people on this website who is close to your age.

    You are 15, I am 21.

    I was in a relationship with a Jehovah's Witness girl once, and when I was, I thought things were going well and that I was going to be happy.

    It was the absolute worst experience of my life.

    The girl you talk to may smile in your face and tell you that she loves you, but if she is a true and loyal Jehovah's Witness, then the religion comes first, and you are a very distant second.

    If her religion finds out that she is dating or interested in a boy that is NOT a Jehovah's Witness, then she risks getting into a whole heap of trouble with her parents and friends. She may even get into so much trouble that she would not be allowed to talk to her friends anymore period. They would be required to shun her. If she is in danger of getting into too much trouble, then she could lie on you and try to get you into a lot of trouble. I know this, because it happened to me.

    How sick is that? Is that love? Ask your mother, but I am sure in your heart you know the answer is no.

    There are SOOOOOOOOOOO many people out there you could talk to.

    For your own sake, make sure the girls you try to find out more about or are interested in are NOT Jehovah's Witnesses. They are just too much trouble.

  • Vivamus

    Hi Spencer! welcome to the board.

    Well, I got bible study from Jehovahs Witnesses, when I was seventeen, so that's pretty close to your age. I really liked the way they made me feel loved and welcome "love-bombing". Socially, it is a merry group, as long as you obey the rules (and there are a LOT) and be obedient and a good little dub as we call them here. However, the minute you show some independent thought, show some criticism, doubt a decision, then you're in trouble. Cause disagreeing with the Governing Board, means disagreeing with God, in their eyes. This is what happened to me, and I got a lot of criticism from the elders for not being submissive enough, "I had to put the Kingdom first, maybe consider dropping out of college and spend more time in field service" etc. The thing they want from you, is to control your whole life. As a witness, everything you do, you have to do in consideration of what the Watchtower tells you about it. Heck, they even wrote an article about chess sometimes, warning against that game. (It is somewhere on this board, I believe under the heading "witnesses know how to have fun")

    The nastiest thing about them is IMO however, the shunning. Once you decided you no longer believe in it, or commit a "sin" and get disfellowshipped, or disassociated, you get shunned, which pretty much means that every witness ignores you. The hurt this causes on people is unbelievable.

    You have a wonderful mother, she can tell you a lot about JW. I hope you find the answers you need and search for. Good luck Spencer, and feel free to email if you have questions.


  • Reborn2002

    Vivamus is telling you the truth.

    I was born into the Jehovah's Witnesses.

    My mother, sister, and brother are all still Jehovah's Witnesses.

    Because I decided I did not want to be a Jehovah's Witness, my brother does not speak to me at all and does not allow me around my 18 month old nephew.

    My mother and sister barely ever talk to me and I had to move out on my own in order to be able to do anything. They would only accept me if I was a Jehovah's Witness.

    Listen to your mom and look up the word "cult". The Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult and are very dangerous. Do you remember the stories on tv about people being religious fanatics and doing all kinds of crazy things even if it meant hurting their family? That is how the Jehovah's Witnesses act.

    You need to stay away from them.

  • Vivamus

    (((((Reborn))))) I am so sorry for you, I know it hurts.

  • Reborn2002

    Thanks Vivamus.

    I do not believe we have ever had the pleasure of talking before, but in any event, welcome to the JW.com board and thank you for the hug.

    I just do not want to see someone else suffer needlessly at the hands of the Jehovah's Witness cult as I have.

    They are extremely dangerous recneps (Spencer?)

    My mother told me to my face that it would have been better if I had not been born because I was a disgrace to my family and destined to be destroyed at Armageddon all because I am not a Jehovah's Witness.

    My brother last told me that he would never allow me around my nephew, and when he was old enough to understand he would explain to him that I am wicked because I turned my back on God.

    The Jehovah's Witnesses are VERY dangerous people, if you ask people on this board, you will find MANY who have SUFFERED because of them.

  • da_luvvin_bruvva

    Hey recneps/spencer

    I can only empathize with your situation and I agree with all the other posts, eg: Reborn, Vivamus etc, however.............

    On the positive side, if I were you, I'd keep on researching the WTBS so that you can get it clear in your mind whether or not it is 'da troof'.

    Once you've come to discover that 'da troof' is nothing but a lie and a cult (as Reborn quite rightly stated), you may even be able to help this girl outta da Witchtower Babel & Entrapment Society.

    If you succeed in helping her to also see that it is one of the most damaging cults in the world, she'd have nothing but a lifetime of gratitude to offer you.

    But, you've got to get it absolutely clear in your mind whether or not it is cracked up to be what they reckon it is.

    Don't take it from me, or any other person, but look into the history of the WT for yourself, all the many false prophecies, the lies, the deceit, the coverups etc, etc, etc. It won't be hard. The web is a good place to start.

    If you ever need any help, advice, research material and other resources to find out the 'truth' about the worldwide 'Luvvin Bruvvahood', there are so many wonderful people on this forum that will be more than happy to help you confirm in your own mind, that the WTB&TS is, most definately, A MIND CONTROLLING CULT. PERIOD.

    God bless in your journey.


  • Cassiline

    ((((((((((((( Reborn )))))))))))

    The pain you feel at times must overwhealm my thoughs are with you.

    ((((((((((((( Viv ))))))))))

    Hugs to you lady


    As a teen I always told myself I would remember the way my father treated me so I could remember the pain, embarrassment etc. And never do to my children what was done to me. As adults we have seen so much and try to put ourselves in our children's shoes, but the first thing we do it look out for their safety and mental welfare.

    From reading your mothers posts I find a very insightful woman who I am sure has passed the same qualities on to you. What she does not want if I understand correctly is for you to feel the pain of losing the ones you love due to following a religions practices that are archaic, this may happen by getting involved in discussions about religion. To discuss the religion with you, or start a "study" with you is a JW's primary reason for speaking to a non-JW or "worldley" person as they refer to anyone outside their religion. They want you to join.

    All JW's are not bad people but they have been sucked into a cult and can see nothing without blinders on. I would strongly suggest you follow the advise above and research the faith to see how ones family's ties will be severed if you continue this relationship and eventually become a member of this cult.

    I feel your mothers fears are well warranted. She does not want you to experience the pain she has. No one should have to. Please know she has your best intrests at heart.

    My story can be found in the personal experiences section if you wish to read it.

    Hugs to both you and your Mom.

    My e-mail is open if you wish to write.


    Edited by - cassiline on 14 August 2002 6:26:55

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