Reading jozb5s thread on her mother made me think of this. I recently told my husband and he is even more disgusted with my mother.
My parents divorced when I was 12. My mom was desperate to be married and started a dating binge. She dated anyone, witness or not.
One of her boyfriends was a guy named Louie. He was right off the plane from Italy . He spoke broken English. He had a brother named Domingo. Domingo came to the USA after Louie and spoke even more broken English. They were not dubs.
My mom thought Louie had money. That was the #1 criterion for a husband. He had to be able to support her in the manner she had been accustomed. Louie seemed to fit the bill. No former wife or kids to support and he lavished gifts on my mother. Her #2 criterion was no former wife or children...too messy when he died.
My mom dated Louie when I was 14. Domingo, in the mean time, needed a companion to go to the race track. Louie and Domingo owned race horses and raced at Hawthorne Race track, outside of Chicago . (Many dub assemblies were held there).
Neither Louie nor Domingo held day jobs. They somehow had money and raced horses. They both also drove Cadillacs.
Domingo seemed to be interested in me. My mother saw nothing wrong with dressing me up and taking me along with her and Louie and letting people think I was Domingos date. The understanding was that I was to be friendly to Domingo. My mom might get more gifts if I were friendly and allowed Domingo to kiss or fondle me.
When I say dressing me up, she would have me dress in my KH best. Dress or skirt, hose, heels, makeup; the whole package. I was tall for my age, so I fit in her clothing. She would dress me up in her evening clothes also.
I can recall standing outside the stall of one of Louie and Domingos horses. Domingo tried to kiss me and tried to grab my boob. (What little there was) My mother and Louie were at the clubhouse or whatever you call the place where the people place bets and stuff. Domingo was going to let me pet the horses. It was dark out and kind of cool out.
I yelled for him to stop and pushed him away. I was just disgusted. I did not want some old man (Domingo was about 45 and Louie was about 40; my mom was about 37) touching me. I just snapped. I realized that no matter what my mom could get from Louie in the form of gifts, it was not worth having this old man touch me. I wanted a young boyfriend.someone my age.
I ran back to the club house and told my mom I was sick and had to leave. Domingo followed me and was yelling at Louie in Italian. I am sure he was telling Louie that I was denying whatever Louie had promised. They were yelling at each other for quite a while and gesturing at me.
My mother agreed that we could leave. In the car I told her what happened. She got really mad at me and said Louie would probably dump her and she would not be able to get any more gifts and all hope of marrying him would be off the table. ( She thought that since he was an immigrant, he would marry her and she would gain some control of what he had. That rested upon my playing nice and letting Domingo have some fun.) When I look back, I really think she was also afraid that Louie was in the mob. There were/are acknowledged Italian mobsters in Chicago and she was worried that Louie might try to hurt her. I said that I did not think that Louie was going to take a hit out on her because of me.
I wanted a father so bad, even Louie would do. I also had thoughts of being married to Domingo. Getting married was paramount in my mind. My mother made it clear that being married was the most important thing for a woman to do. Domingo seemed to make it all so easy.
I think about this often. I cannot even begin to explain my mother's behavior. I cannot begin to explain mine. Why would I meekly put up with that? Even for a few months? I know I was desperate for a father. I then get really mad at my mother. She really embodies the underbody of dubdom. She preaches the new system and would sacrafice her soul for a dollar.
I tried to talk to her about this a few months ago. She totally denied all of it. She said I was over reacting to Domingo and he was just trying to keep me warm!
This is the kind of stuff I have a hard time forgiving her for. The verbal and physical abuse were a product of her upbringing. The shit with Louie and Domingo was her being a greedy harlot who was willing to let her daughter be harmed for a gift.
When I read the other thread on jozb5's thread I could see it happening before my eyes. I can still see Domingo in his polyester suit. He and Louie always wore three-piece suits and loafers with tassels on them. I can see the hair on his chin and the slight gap between his teeth. He had a slight pot belly.
Thanks for reading. It is really hard to write this.
Edited by - puffsrule on 8 August 2002 19:41:6
Edited to add missing words...they just disappeared!
Edited by - puffsrule on 8 August 2002 19:45:16