i just wanted to take a moment and thank every one who posts and those
who visit in "chat"....because of my situation i have no association....
lonliness is a problem for me....but that void is being filled with
this site....i can assure you,,,it is a void that really needed filling!!
i enjoy everyone in chat so much....there are all different personalites
but not any i haven't liked so far....for those who have not tried it,,
special thanks to those who write the forums,,,or threads...i am unsure
what they are called...i am a mental mess,,,for numerous reasons...i
read some thing on this forum "beliefs,doctrines,and practises"
under the heading "defensivness"....it was such an eye opener for me....
ice blue,,and lisa bobessa don't realize it,,,but they made me so happy..
i cannot go to a kingdom hall or even look at witnesses...i have been
this way for a year...i am a "fence sitter"....i cannot listen to any
thing they say,,,or stand to look at any publication....
i will break every command of theirs under the sun,,,and at the same
time,,,defend the witness and doctrine beliefs...
i am thinking,,,i am beyond a mental mess...YOU CANNOT IMMAGINE how i
felt when i read the experiences of these to people....they feel and
act exactly like i have done.....
I AM NOT ALONE!!!!! it must have some thing to do with all the training
we have recieved at witnesses...some thing deep in our minds or spirit...
that makes us do this...
so,,,thank you all for your friendship and understanding....SPECIAL
THANKS TO ice blue and lisa bobessa....you didn't know,,,but oh how
i was a jw for 30 years....i wonder if i will ever be "normal" i feel
like making them pay for my medical expenses...doctors visits,,,
antidepressants,,,therapy sessions....all of this in the name of god!!