Hey! Why wasn't I selected for the legislative committee? Y'all are starting to give me a complex! I'm never in a "crush" thread, I'm not in that "secret group" that runs the board And now I'm not part of the Bowenite legislative committee! And here I am over halfway to Jedi!
Can I at least submit some proposals?
Ammendment to Rule #12. Molesters may be killed if they object to castration or ass-kicking or falling down flights of stairs. No action will be taken against a Bowenite who "deals" with a molester in such a way unless there are at least two eyewitnesses. The molester may not be permitted to be an eyewitness. No disciplinary action will be taken against the Bowenite, however his privileges may be increased and an announcement made to that effect and in such case, it would be appropriate for the congregation to treat him/her with extra love.
Other proposals:
Facial hair and long hair on men will be encouraged. Facial hair on women is expressly forbidden. Mullets will not be prohibited, however they must be kept neat and clean.
No one is to be caught not drinking. *except for designated drivers at meetings. No one shall serve as designated driver for more than one consecutive meeting*
No one is to mistreat the dubs in any way or if anyone is watching.
No one is permitted to canvass any neighborhood for any reason between the hours of 12 noon and 12 midnight Sunday through Saturday. Neither shall anyone be permitted to knock on the doors of more than two houses consecutively unless there is an immediate emergency, such as fire, flood, gas leak, or pedophile residing in the immediate vicinity.
Dress Clothes.
I. For the purposes of this section, dress clothes shall be defined as the following:
1. For men: Two- or three-piece suits, sport coats and slacks accompanied by a button-up shirt and tie
2. For women: Dresses or skirt and blouse combinations that could reasonably be described as conservative or modest.
3. For children the descriptions in '1' and '2' also apply.
II. Dress clothes shall not be required at any Bowenite meeting or function however some members may be admonished to wear at least some clothing at such.
III. Children under the age of 18 shall not be required to wear any form of dress clothes except in the case of weddings, funerals, proms, formal dances and events, family photos, dining at a restaurant that requires formal attire, or other events not including Bowenite functions or meetings in which the parents decide it would be appropriate. Parents are prohibited from requiring their children to wear dress clothes to any Bowenite meeting. Any child who comes to a Bowenite meeting in dress clothes will be immediately removed by attendants and changed into more comfortable and casual attire.
IV. Ties of the "clip-on" design are forbidden. All "clip-on" ties in the possession of any Bowenite should be publically burned, preferrably at a bonfire keg party.
V. Any hemline and neckline is acceptable, however women may be admonished for hemlines that are too low and/or necklines that are too high. Also, should a skirt or dress have a split then that split should go no less than 3/4 of the way up the thigh.
VI. All suits, both two- and three-piece, must be of current and fashionably acceptable style. MikeMusto will gladly help you decide what is acceptable and what is not.
VII. Baggy pants worn in such a style by men as the waistband is below the waistband of the underwear, or if no underwear is worn then below the start of the "butt-crack", are prohibited. To ensure proper attire at Bowenite functions, the attendants shall help the wearer pull the pants up to the appropriate height and fasten them securely with a stapler or nail gun to ensure they remain properly pulled up.
VIII. Men may not wear black or dark-colored socks with shorts.
IX. Women who have piercings are encouraged to dress appropriately in order to display them.
Ok, am I in?
Mike.