The following are the rules for the new anti-religion known as the Bowenites:
Bowenite Rules
by LittleToe 19 Replies latest jw friends
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TheStar
LOL LT! Are you an official member?
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Dutchie
There will be absolutely no door-to-door solicitations.
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LittleToe
onacruse: Rule #1, Bowenites never df anybody but JWs
Trauma_Hound: Rule #2 Bowenites don't go door to door, or tell anyone about bowenites. onacruse: Rule #3, Val is the Supreme Overbeer Trauma_Hound: Rule # 4 Bowenites don't have boring meetings that will put you to sleep. LittleToe: Rule #5 Bowenites will take NO crap!!! Valis: #6...alter chicks must be of age...and wear catholic school girl outfits for "high" mass RubyTuesday: #7 women give the talks LittleToe: #8 Men "take" the talks - Talks is a code word, right? onacruse: Rule #6, Bowenite males must were head coverings Valis: #9..jes gets to be in charge of the alter chicks LittleToe: OPtional rule#6 - or a beard Jesika: rule 10---women are head of household Trauma_Hound: #11 Smokem if you got em Valis: rule 10.5 and they must give it to the household regularly rocky220: #12 pedophiles should get castrated....... LittleToe: No rule 13, cause it's unlucky and we can be superstitious now Trauma_Hound: #12.5 pedophiles should have they're asses kicked, and fall down a flight of stairs several times, then the police called. Cowboy: amendment to #12...andc left to bleed in the desert...... Valis: rule 14...trolls get thier ass beat RubyTuesday: 14 children get to talk as much as they want in the meetings onacruse: jes, #14, roflmao is REQUIRED at all Bowenite meetings rocky220: #666 we save for people like erie guy, what a looser! Trauma_Hound: #15 The babtisimal pool, should be a jacuzzi, with bubbles, and clothing is optional. LittleToe: Rule #11 - Crush threads are compulsory - gotta know where you stand! Trauma_Hound: #16 No camping on passing the bong. LittleToe: Rule#17 no hogging the spliff Jesika: rule 18 sex is required before marrige onacruse: 19, sex is forbidden after marriage LittleToe: Lets merge rule 18 and 19, #18sex is required #19, doing away with marriage Trauma_Hound: 19 Passing of the communal bong will comence at 4:20 each day, however you can smoke anytime you want. Valis: #21 all sisters must meet at least once a week w/the Overbeer for personal loving counsel..eheheh Cowboy: rule #20-rules are made to be broken Jesika: must fill out weed reports everymonth Trauma_Hound: #22 Drunken Orgies happen at least once a month minimum. Valis: #23 Apostate Sisters Gone Wild will be sold on a donation basis only..cd dvd, vhs, 8 track..et al Valis: #24...the dramas will include full frontal nudity and at least one Monty Python reference Trauma_Hound: #25 No one person has all the power, and everyone that's a member can vote. Trauma_Hound: #27 Anyone quoting from the WTS bible should be severly beaten. Cowboy: #25 A-if you don't vote ,don't bitch Valis: t_h..hell yes #27 lap dances are mandatory at Thursday night book study and spanking w/the Aid Book Valis: 27.5 except when reading jeremiah 25:27 cause they use the word puke LittleToe: Rule #26 voting is optional and a conscience matter Trauma_Hound: #28 Unlevened bread is forbidden, unless you put peanut butter and jelly on it. Valis: #29 the sacrament should take like lucky charms and Giuness Stout...to appeal to the irish Bowenites.. Trauma_Hound: #30 Emblems should include a full bar. Jesika: #31---can't leave untill completely trashed at momoria Valis: #31 Everyone is encouraged to go where the weed is greatest Trauma_Hound: #33 If the memorial falls on a tuesday, we will have Tacos -
LittleToe
Trauma_Hound: #35 If your a homophobe, racist, pedophile, bigot etc, don't bother joining, because we'll kick your ass
Jesika: #36 all meeting places must have windows Trauma_Hound: #37 Bullet proof windows in bad neighborhoods. onacruse: #37 No one named Rutherford is allowed Trauma_Hound: #39 Conventions will held in Las Vegas. rocky220: #39 Sin City Baby!!! ha-ha-haonacruse: #40, convention talks limited to 5 sec Trauma_Hound: #41 If you are unable to attend the Las Vegas Convention, then throw a party at your house, and post pictures. Jesika: #42 sheparding calls to be held in topless club rocky220: #43 kidnap erie guy just for kicks Jesika: #42-----if a female--male strip clubs onacruse: #44 shepherds required to grope -
SixofNine
Fuckin' bunch a pharisees!
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LittleToe
Six:
Wanna make a rule about that?
Edited by - LittleToe on 6 August 2002 15:45:22
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SixofNine
Don't feed my Christ complex!!
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Mimilly
Hmm.. we must donate blood and guard those who are in need of it.
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Trauma_Hound
I like that rule Mimily. :)