What is a JW childhood like?

by knighthawk1981 49 Replies latest jw friends

In_between_days

My childhood was fine, it was my adolescence that SUCKED. Because my parents were not brought up in the org I don't think they realised how hard it was to be a JW teenager. When I was a child, I did'nt particularly care about not celebrating holidays, I got awesome presents at other times, and I did'nt get teased much, I was basically just an ordinary kid, but when I got to high school, my god, the shame. I actually nearly sucessfully got through my entire school year without letting too many people know I was a JW.
I've got to tell you, and I am not in the least bit exagerrating, I thought witnessing in my local neighbourhood was shear HELL - I was so terrified to go out door to door for fear of seeing my school freinds that I had severe stomach cramps and nausea every single sunday morning. I would use anything to try to cover my identity when I was witnessing, I insisted on taking an umbrella or a coat with a hood, and I was constantly trying to hide my face. I even did my hair different to how I usually have it and wore sunglasses. Once I saw a friend on the street and they asked what I was doing and I told her I was on the way to a wedding.
I begged my parents not to make me go witnessing, but I had to, I remember on sunday mornings lying on my bed with the lights off and curtains closed crying with stomach cramps, sweating and full of anxiety. This may sound far - fetched, but I swear this is the truth, I think these terrible experiences every single week really affected me in later life.
You know what I am really angry about now though? (I am ranting, I know) The fact that I was made to feel so terrified of demons. I was told be careful of anything I buiy second hand because of demons, if I had a nightmare, that meant that there could be demons in my bedroom, I was told that anywhere I go apart from the kingdom hall, there are literally demons everywhere. I was told stories from CO's on stage about demons sexually harrassing young girls. I was absolutely terrified of demons, I thought they were after me. It took me so long to get over this shit guys, I was still leaving a light on when I was 18!! All i've got to say is: How SICK is this to teach your children? Is this healthy? I think not. This is one thing I will never forgive the WT for. When I think abou it now it makes me sick.
I could go on forever about my suicidal youth, I am just so glad I got out and am leading a normal life. I will never EVER allow my kids to be exposed to this kind of youth. When I think back to my teenage years now, they are ones of trauma and depression.
barry

I thought it would be cool to be a JW kid because when I went to school the JW kids didnt have to go to scripture on wednesday mornings and could do anything they wanted to thats all I knew about them then.
Barry
scootergirl

Wow.........what memories. Having my first cup of coffee this morning and trying to choke back the tears because I can relate to so many of you.
W/out specifics (which have already been mentioned) growing up a dub failed to teach me how to take care of myself emotionally. My wants and needs were always somewhere down the list. I always was trying to please someone. Trying NOT to stumble someone. I felt like I lived in a fish bowl. Subsequently, I learned how to become co-dependent. I also learned how to be a great martyr. This in turned created big troubles for me as an adult because I lacked the skills to function as a "normal" adult. When I left the borg at 18, emotionally I felt like I was about 12/13! It took me many many years to "catch up" to where I should be. Being raised in the "Truth" I had no worldly friends. Being df'd I lost everything in my life. I never felt more alone cause I had no one for so long.
Conditional love. Feeling that the only way to keep people loving you is to do what is expected of you. If not, you suffer the consequences of being turned away. This way of thinking broke up me and my two siblings. Because I was the "bad seed" I was kept away from them.
And, I can't believe no one mentioned this...........NO PLAYING WITH SMURFS! They were considered a "no-no"...remember having the beezeebees scared out of us? LOL
Lady Lee

Hmm all of the above would apply. It was hard and the hard was supposed to be persecution.
A couple of things stand out for me
First the physical abuse. Beatings were regular in our home. I got beaten the last time when I was 17 years old. All sanctioned by JW teachings to spare the rod and spoil the child. That last beating was for not cleaning the house to my mother's standards.
Second was the child sexual abuse that was kept hidden by the family and the elders. As a result of the cover-up of that abuse I was sent into foster care for 3 years and lost all contact with my family. Even though I had no contact with the JWs during that period I did my best to follow the rules that I did remember.
Third was the arranged marriage when I was still a teenager. That was supposed to keep me from committing fornication.
Fourth was the emotional abuse and control. Every facet of life was controlled. Erring even a bit resulted in talks with my mother or an elder to set me straight. I wasn't a bad kid. I had learned early to be obedient and tried to follow all the rules but it was never ever enough. The constant pressure to perform was crushing. Unable to deal with any of the abuse I settled into a lifetime of depression - untreated and buried inside to make sure I portrayed the image of a "happy" JW. Having to stop thinking honestly about things and going through the normal developmental stages of childhood are impossible. There is little recognition of a child's abilities. All are expected to perform as miniature adults. This is way too much pressure for children. No wonder so many leave or get emotionally ill.
Edited by - Lady Lee on 4 August 2002 11:40:11
teenyuck

Hmmm, as Lady Lee said, it was hard and the hard was persecution.
I hated it.
There is a common thread of beatings, embarrassment and fear.
My sister and I were constantly told we were "milstones" around our parents neck. We were told that we were lucky to born. Our mother threatened us with the orphanage (there was one a few blocks away, right out of a Dickens novel) if we misbehaved. We never got gifts because "everyday I buy you food; you get clothing too, what more do you deserve?"
Then, as everyone else did, we dressed up and went to the KH or out in service. Just a nice family.
Being singled out because of our religion was bad. Being so different that even teachers don't like you is harder.
Lady Lee

Puffs our mothers could have been sisters raised in the same dysfunctional home. We got the orphange speech too. Yup just toss out anyone who doesn't follow the party line 0 How loving
sweetone2377

Being a child in the organization is a horrible experience. You're pressured from all corners to thrive and to do well in the religion, even as young as preschool age. Your associates are chosen for you, and how you spend your time with them. Your clothing and your hobbies are chosen for you. Hang out at the mall?? Forget it. You are constantly living with the guilt that you haven't done all you could to save the eternal life of another. If you attend a public school (as opposed to home schooling) you are ridiculed by classmates that you are not allowed to associate with. If you have dreams of what you would like to do with your future, career wise, you are made to feel ashamed. You are taught to be ashamed of your body, of your mind, and of your very spirit. As a female, the only real goal set before you is to become a regular pioneer, and marry an elder or a ministerial servant at a young age. As a child, or young adult, it your responsiblity to take care of older ones, bathroom duty at the KH, and to teach other children that it's ok for them to go against their parents if they want to come to the KH and become a JW. All the while, teaching them that they must obey their parents as you obey yours. Many times, children are treated horribly by others, being abused in all sorts of ways and must bear the guilt of being told that it their fault and that if they don't turn around and change, they will be punished by being killed at Armaggeddon and will never see their parents again. Children have no voice in the organization. You are cut off with all famly members who are not believers. And you are taught that if you are looked down upon and hated by those around you, that you are doing something right. And if you are not in line with the others, you can be disposed of easily. Children are deprived of self-esteem, self-confindence, & true love.
What really bothered me was sitting in the Hall, watching the PO and his wife constantly taking their 2 year old daughter to the back room for her beating. They expected her to sit straight up in her chair, no figeting, and to pay attention to the entire meeting. She spent around 10 hours a day in a carseat. Then once home, had to sit through endless family studies, then off to the meetings. The only play time she had was after the Sunday meeting, before afternoon service. What kind of life is that for a child?? Her first word was "happy", an answer to a WT study question. If she didn't raise her hand and say it, she was punished. This was right after her 1st birthday.
In_Between I completely understand about the demons. Yard sales were out for us. Not only did I sleep with a light on at the ripe age of 19, I also use to jump from the hall into my bed (a pretty big leap but fear kept me flying). I was afraid that I would be grabbed by a demon and sucked under the bed. I also had a fear of using toilets, even at home. I remember that every time one of us would have a nightmare or we would hear a noise in the house, we would spend hours searching every inch of the house, including the basement, attic, and the g arage for anything that could be linked to demons. Talk about all the sleep I missed while a JW kid!
Edited by - sweetone2377 on 4 August 2002 14:9:24
Edited by - sweetone2377 on 4 August 2002 14:14:38
happysunshine

Man, I feel the experiences inside, physically, just reading everyones posts. I have a feeling most of our experiences are like an iceberg - the majority of what it repressents remains unexpressed. Where do we go from here? - J
In_between_days

I found this prime example of the JW child mindset at www.ezboard.com , discussion topic being "Ghosts".
Reminds me of myself when I was a child, sounds like he's been listening to heaps of positve stories to help him sleep at night, LOL
Seriously, even if these things did happen to you, why would you tell your kids about them and scare them shitless?
GHOST
I DONT ACTUALLY BELIVE IN GHOSTS,BUT I DO BELIVE IN DEMONS.YOU SEE I AM JEHOVAHS'WITNESS AND WE BELIVE IN DEMONS.MY MOTHER TOLD ME THAT WHEN MY GRANDMA LIVED IN CUBA,SHE PRACTICED BLACK-MAGIC.IN THE BEGING SHE THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD.THE POWER SHE HAD LET HER DO THINGS NO OTHER HUMAN COULD DO.FOR EXAMPLE,SHE WOULD SMOKE TABBACO AND DRINK BEAR AT THE SAME TIME AND IT WOULDNT EVEN AFFECT HER SHE DIDNT EVEN GET DRUNK AND WHEN SHE SMOKED IT DIDNT LEAVE TAR STAINS ON HER TEETH.AND AT ONE POINT WHEN MY MOM WAS PREGNANT WITH ME EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE A GIRL ,BUT MY GRANDMA TOOK THESE ANCIENT SCROLLS AND USING THE STARS SHE PREDIDCTED THAT I WAS GOING TO BE BORN A BOY.YOU SEE SHE WAS PART OF THIS RELIGON CALLED THE SANTERIA,ITS AN AFRICAN CUBAN RELIGON HALF CUBAN CATHOLIC HALF AFRICAN VOODOIST AND AT ONE POINT SHE GOT THE WHOLE HOUSE POSSED BY DEMONS.MY MOM SAID THAT WHENEVER SOMEONE TALKED A DEMON WOULD TELL THEM TO SHUT UP.AND THIS ONE DEMON APPEARED EVERY MID-NIGHT AS A MAN IN A BLACK HOOD WITH A PENTAGRAM AROUND HIS NECK SAYING SOMETHING SATANIC IN LATIN AND WALKED RIGHT THROUGH A WALL. AND THEY USE TO PULL MY MOMS HAIR AND WHEN SHE LOOKED INTO A MIRROR A DEMON WAS ONE THE OTHER SIDE.AND THEY USED TO MAKE THINGS LIVITATE IN MID AIR AND WHEN MY MOM WAS IN THE BATHROOM SHE FELT LIKE SOMEONE WAS WATCHING HER.AND WHEN SHE WOULD GO TO SLEEP SHE FELT SOMEONE ELSE IN THE BED WITH HER.MY NAME IS JOSE IF ANYTHING LIKE THIS ,ANYTHING AT ALL LIKE IS HAPPENED TO YOU AT ALL OR TO A FRIEND E-MAIL ME AT YAHOO MY ADDREESS IS jopez031 at yahoo. com
Scully

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=20322&site=3
A similar thread, if you want to read some other stories.
Love, Scully
Edited by - Scully on 7 August 2002 7:49:56

What is a JW childhood like?

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