My childhood was fine, it was my adolescence that SUCKED. Because my parents were not brought up in the org I don't think they realised how hard it was to be a JW teenager. When I was a child, I did'nt particularly care about not celebrating holidays, I got awesome presents at other times, and I did'nt get teased much, I was basically just an ordinary kid, but when I got to high school, my god, the shame. I actually nearly sucessfully got through my entire school year without letting too many people know I was a JW.
I've got to tell you, and I am not in the least bit exagerrating, I thought witnessing in my local neighbourhood was shear HELL - I was so terrified to go out door to door for fear of seeing my school freinds that I had severe stomach cramps and nausea every single sunday morning. I would use anything to try to cover my identity when I was witnessing, I insisted on taking an umbrella or a coat with a hood, and I was constantly trying to hide my face. I even did my hair different to how I usually have it and wore sunglasses. Once I saw a friend on the street and they asked what I was doing and I told her I was on the way to a wedding.
I begged my parents not to make me go witnessing, but I had to, I remember on sunday mornings lying on my bed with the lights off and curtains closed crying with stomach cramps, sweating and full of anxiety. This may sound far - fetched, but I swear this is the truth, I think these terrible experiences every single week really affected me in later life.
You know what I am really angry about now though? (I am ranting, I know) The fact that I was made to feel so terrified of demons. I was told be careful of anything I buiy second hand because of demons, if I had a nightmare, that meant that there could be demons in my bedroom, I was told that anywhere I go apart from the kingdom hall, there are literally demons everywhere. I was told stories from CO's on stage about demons sexually harrassing young girls. I was absolutely terrified of demons, I thought they were after me. It took me so long to get over this shit guys, I was still leaving a light on when I was 18!! All i've got to say is: How SICK is this to teach your children? Is this healthy? I think not. This is one thing I will never forgive the WT for. When I think abou it now it makes me sick.
I could go on forever about my suicidal youth, I am just so glad I got out and am leading a normal life. I will never EVER allow my kids to be exposed to this kind of youth. When I think back to my teenage years now, they are ones of trauma and depression.