Do dubs deal with death better than others?

by SpiceItUp 25 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  SpiceItUp

  Going to that funeral this week made me think about a few things.

  First the family members that attended, who btw were not dubs, were shedding tears. I did not see anyone else there crying even though the woman who died was a great friend and will really be missed.

  Now since the dubs have the hope of the "resurrection" does that allieviate their grief that they should normally posess? Does that mean they are "happy" when someone dies because their wait is over? Or is it all a really big illusion that they hide themselves in---that it is ok that she died because she will be "resurrected" and therefore they never end up dealing with any kind of grief.

  I have on occasion seen dubs cry at funerals but the majority are almost in a trance-like state when they speak of how wonderful it will be to see that person "in the new system". Just an observation.Anyone else have views on this.

  Is this a good thing to have such hope or will it come back later on and cause some grief issues. I have always said that its not good to keep things bottled (although I have a hard time taking that advice) but if you are soo conditioned to have the same response what are future repercussions?

  Spice : Newest member of the Jedi class
• 

  OUTLAW

  Dubs don`t deal with anything.They do as their told,and leave the thinking to WBTS...OUTLAW
• 

  Pierced Angel

  When my brother died, I was attending and believing still in the witness beliefs. It did help me through the rotten shock and pain of it all, but I remember people commenting on how I didn't express the same amount of grief as my sister. I remember feeling a loyalty to god was required. That to show I had faith, I had to not act so emotionally distraught. I've been coming to terms with the loss lately and realizing that I don't know if I'll ever see him in any shape or form is hard to deal with sometimes.

  Yes, you're in a trancelike state, a false sense of hope that helps, but also takes away your right and need to grieve properly.
• 

  Incense_and_Peppermints

  well, if telling yourself that so-and-so just "went to sleep" means "dealing with it", then yes...
• 

  Princess

  Well said Pierced Angel. I was thinking the same thing. I remember crying a lot when it was a close relative of mine but I never cried at the memorials of others in the hall. The resurrection back to the paradise keeps you going until you are forced to deal with the truth.

  Rachel
• 

  eyegirl

  i would have to agree with outlaw. i remember going to a couple of funerals as a child--one for my non-jw grampa and one for my friend's jw gramma. cried like a baby at both--they were so incredibly difficult. they were the first funerals i ever remember attending. one thing i remember my mom telling me that i shouldn't be so sad because they were 'just sleeping' and that there really was no need to cry. i don't know whether that was such a good thing or not. i did find it comforting at the time, i guess. as an adult, i've come realize that belief in an afterlife is comforting for me. this is going to sound very weird, but there have been little strange things happening in my apt. used to freak me out--had a long talk with my sister about it. now, when these things happen, i like to think it's my grampa or brother-in-law saying hi and letting me know that they're watching over me. please don't think i'm insane, unless you find that attractive heehee

  beck
• 

  zenpunk

  I have seen very little crying at dub funerals. At one of the last ones I attended, the husband of an elderly woman, married over 50 years had died. She sobbed hysterically for him and it seemed that the other dubs were embarrassed for her. I thought that was wrong. No one knows what the future really brings so it is important to grieve, not get all trance-like about the "new system".
• 

  Dawn

  Dubs don't deal any better with grief - they just put on a better show!! Remember - it's all about appearances.

  When my dad passed away my entire family (all JW's) grieved. My mother, of course, shed a lot of tears - and has continued to cry off and on since. But when everyone else is around they put on a brave front and talk about the hope they have that noone else has.

  I reminded them that most religions also have a hope - it may be different from theirs - but it is no less real to the individual.

  Once my mom was "reminding" me of the importance to serve Jah and get back to the "truth" before Armageddon comes. Wouldn't I want to see my father in the resurrection? So I responded "of course I'll see him - everyone will get resurrected". She replied "only the faithful ones.." to which I interrupted with John 5:28-29...that all will be resurrected, both righteous and unrighteous. She just sat there and looked at me for a minute - then changed the subject.

  Of course - I'm hoping I'll be getting the good resurrection
• 

  Reborn2002

  JDubs are devoid of emotion.

  They have been programmed and indoctrinated to behave in that manner.

  When I attended JW-funeral/infomercials while still on the inside, I saw the exact same scenario you see Spice.

  The "worldly" attendees who may have not even been related to the deceased would shed tears and be truly weeping, whereas the JDubs would often remain solemn, quiet, and emotionless.

  Case in point, when my grandfather died, I managed to maintain my composure during the discourse, even though I had genuinely lost the father-figure in my life, and was angry at the way that the JW disrespected his honor by turning the funeral into a marketing ploy for the religion instead of a eulogy of the deceased.

  After the talk, I just lost it. A brother who served as an elder took me to the side and told me to stop crying any such way, because I should have the joy of knowing my grandfather has the earthly hope, and that I was setting a bad example for others.

  I was young and naive then. In hindsight, I wish I had punched him in the fucking mouth and knocked out his front 4 teeth.

  I hate the JW's.
• 

  Dawn

  I was young and naive then. In hindsight, I wish I had punched him in the fucking mouth and knocked out his front 4 teeth.

  - YES!! I know exactly how you feel.