Long story short.
After months of heavy drinking and medicating myself, I admitted myself in the hospital. Only to find out that I didn't have a substance abuse problem, I was suffering from depression. I found out that I was bipolar also. I was trying to deal with my father's suicide and my termially ill mother. It all got to be too much for me and I knew I needed help. When the elders caught wind of this, they insisted that I have a elder's meeting with them. My brother in law, Dave, also told on me for sending a Holiday Christmas card to one of my sisters. I was under doctor's orders not to put myself in a stressful situation at that time. Anyone that has been before a judicial meeting, will tell you that it can be very stressful, to say the least! After months and months of my husband and I explaining that we didn't want to meet with them, that I was taking control of my life, doing better, but didn't want to meet with them, they STILL insisted that I meet with them. I finally recieved a call from one of the elders that just couldn't understand how I could go recieve worldy help, but wouldn't come to the org. for help. Being in the state of mind that I was in at the time, I broke down and said that if that's what it took to be a witness, then I couldn't do it. His reply was. *You mean that you don't want to be a witness!!!* I couldn't take anymore and in my moment of weakness and not thinking clearly, I said no, I can't do it. They later called back and told my husband that if we didn't show up for a elder's meeting that they would assume therefore that we were disassociating ourselves. The following Thursday night meeting, they made the announcement. Needless to say, it effected my relationship with my j.w. mother and j.w siblins. My mother died shortly after fearing that she would never see me again, even cryed to me that the only thing that she worried about, wasn't having cancer or dying, but was never seeing all her children in the new system.
The rumor that spread was that my husband and I sent a letter of dissasociation, which we did not do. It was a down right lie. The org. wants it's follower's to believe they are about love and family happiness, but in reality, is based upon control and fear.
It should be a crime what the org. is doing to people and their families. The elders are given the power to deal with situations that they really have no special training and no business doing. No wonder the suicide rate amoung people in the org. is highing than any other people in the world. My sister'in-law's twin brother took his life several months ago. He was living a double life and for what reason he decided to take his life, we'll never know, but you can't tell me that the possiblity of losing his j.w. family had a factor on his decision. I know that it was a factor in my dad's suicide and no one will ever tell me or make me believe any different.
I believe with all my heart that the elders did what they did to my husband and I because I went to the world for help and didn't go to them for help. The whole ego, power trip, mind control bullcrap. You know what I'm talking about!
All this occured in 1999. Now I have very little contact, if any, with my j.w. siblins. It has also effected my relationship with other siblins because, even though they don't live as a j.w. , they still feel loyal to the org. and their teachings....and our mother. I have found many time's, that while talking to different one's in my family about the org. I have been quickly shot down and cut off with a different topic of converstion. The last thing that a person wants to be is idenified with is being a apostate or thinking like one!!! *shaking head*
My hubby and I are now just trying to find alittle peace and quite in our life, but sometimes I find it very hard to withhold my feelings that I have towards this terrible cult that claims to be directed by the Holy Spirit.
Edited by - Tinkerbell4125 on 11 August 2002 15:0:35
Edited by - Tinkerbell4125 on 11 August 2002 15:2:5
Edited by - Tinkerbell4125 on 11 August 2002 15:5:37