Syn,
Your hilarious microphone rant made me remember my own, apparently regressed, microphone memories.
When I was at the tender age of about fourteen, I was approached by one of the Elders at the local hall and asked if I wanted to be included in the microphone duties. Now, I've always been a little bit on the nervous side and never had any desire to stand up in front of the entire hall, toting around a five and a half foot pole from person to person. Honestly, the possibility of embarrassment was huge. Suppose you hit someone in the head or tripped over that massive serpentine cord? My mother was having none of my declining this invitation, so I reluctantly began my tour of duty.
I did it a few times and was on pins and needles all the time. It just wasn't my cup of tea, so I began making sure that I never had my suit coat whenever we left for the hall. This worked for a few weeks and I dodged the bullet. Mom was no dummy and caught on soon enough; I'd leave the suit coat in the closet and walk out the door, only to see Mom approaching the car with said coat in hand. I had to come up with something more effective, so I managed to get 'sick' for a few weeks, further delaying the inevitable.
Several weeks later, while at the bookstudy, a couple of the Elders asked if they could speak with me. Any of you who have heard similar comments from the older men in the hall probably have some idea of how terrified I was at that moment. My terror turned to joy shortly as they informed me that new light had indicated that all young men who handled the microphones must be baptized. I tried to look sufficiently devestated, but was thrilled to the gills inside. Truly one of my happiest moments up to that point. LOL!
Brian