Dating and JWs

Delite2k

I suggested Casual Dating to my "friend" instead of just breaking up and thats it, he says he dosen't do that. I don't want things to change between us. the kissing, hugging, sex... I said to him that we did those things before we were serious. He tells me 'but it was leading to a relatonship.' So you mean to tell me that he dosen't "want me" anymore? Whats wrong with Casual Dating?

Fredhall

Delite,

Many times casual dating wine up in the back seat of a car. If the car is small, then casual dating wine up on top of the car. If not top of the car then, it would be in bed.

SYN

Dating mystifies me.

Think about it. A guy takes a guy out, the guy picks her up in his car, takes her to a movie with his money, pays for her dinner with his money, then he takes her back to her home or apartment or whatever, and what does he get for all his trouble? A kiss on the cheek? Hehe, you got SUCKERED! See you next time, buddy.

Many women insist that a guy pays for the whole date! So they are in effect using the guy! What's up with that? What if every time a guy went on a date, he demanded sex, as if it was his God-given right? Surely he would not have very much "success" with the ladies? So why should it be like this? Is it the same in other countries? If a girl doesn't go Dutch or at least take turns buying rounds of drinks, BANG, she is in LJBF land for me! (LJBF = Let's Just Be Friends). A woman who isn't responsible enough to share fully half of a relationship is, sadly enough, very unlikely to change her ways, and will often expect the man to do everything for her later on in life. That doesn't seem very fair to me. And it's pretty rare to encounter a woman with a balanced outlook on life, but I'm lucky enough to have found one quite by accident It's mainly just the attitude of a lot of women that gets my ire up. You can see it just by hanging out with them for a while.

Once, a few months ago, I was standing in a club, and this nice girl walks in. She was much older than me, but still a cutie (I like my ladies MATURE baby ehehe) So I dance with her some, we shake our asses etc, and then I lead her to the bar. So we stand there, and she gets this huge grin on her face, and she says "Buy me a drink". Just like that. I was so disgusted that I just sneered at her and walked away! Where do women get this attitude from? She didn't even say "please"!!!!!

Now, what would have been cool would've been if that woman had said something like "Buy us drinks, and then we can take turns buying the rounds." Evidently, this is not good enough for some woman. It's a mystery to me!

It honestly sickens me to see my friends get PIMPED by women for their own goals, as mysterious as they are. It's really weird to me that women always seem to want to have some form of a formal relationship. Why can't people just be happy to know that they love someone and somebody loves them back? At the end of the day, being someone's "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" is just a bunch of words, but real love runs much deeper than that, makes those things seem somewhat trivial and silly.

Just some thoughts

RedhorseWoman

Casual dating is not recommended for JWs. Dating is considered the first step to marriage, and if marriage is not in the equation, then JWs are not supposed to be dating at all.

It looks as if your "friend" is telling you that you were okay to "fool around" with, but now he's beginning to have feelings for you. Since he can't consider marrying someone who is not a JW, he, therefore, needs to dump you now.

SYN

Let me actually reply to this thread after that mini-rant

'but it was leading to a relatonship.

What poppycock is that? What does he mean by "relationship"?

So you mean to tell me that he dosen't "want me" anymore?

Of course he still wants you. He is a man, and cannot help himself. Take it from someone who knows . If you doubt me, just arrive at his house naked, with beer. He will soon change his mind! Is he a JW? Because if he is, then we're talking about an entirely different kettle of fish here!

Delite2k

SYN: yeah he's a JW. This is the same guy i've been having issues with in past posts. He says for now he likes me as a friend, nothing more (because he dosen't have the time) I can't put my feelings aside in a snap. When I see him, I want to hold him and kiss him..etc. Just because of our situation at hand, I haven't stopped liking him and wanting him, but it seems he don't feel the same. He says friends don't kiss. I told him there are friends who are 'close' because they like each other and enjoy each other's company, without being serious. Am I right or wrong?

SYN

Tell this guy to be a man, and either make a clean break, or be with you completely. If he is so insensitive that he cannot see he is causing you great distress with his wavering, then he is not worth your love.

Be careful, and good luck!

YoursChelbie

That was a very precise, reasonable answer. SYN are you competing with Dr. Ruth?

Seriously, you should like have an advice column in a newspaper, or online in a web-site!

You could call it:

"Everything You Wanted to Know about Love But Were Afraid to Ask"

By Dr. SYN

YoursChelbie

Edited by - YoursChelbie on 24 July 2002 21:11:44

JanH

SYN,

Precise observations indeed.

If you have to buy her drinks to get into her pants, what do you think she is? A whore, and a cheap one at that.

I often buy my friends (of either gender) a drink (and vice versa, of course). But if I want to date some girl I meet casually, I never buy them anything. Simple as that. It just creates an awkward situation for both parties. She feels she have to stay around to be polite because I buy her something. If she fancies me, she'll stay around anyway, buying her own drinks. And if she doesn't fancy me, it would not help whatever I buy her.

If something should develop, she'll be one of my mates, and I can buy her drinks later.

- Jan

Delite2k

I always offer to pay my half when dating, but if a man says 'I got it', well gosh darn he's got it!

SYN and RHW: thanks for the advice. I will think about what i'm going to do. Its difficult though, trust me.

Edited by - Delite2k on 25 July 2002 1:37:49

Dating and JWs

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