by patio34 29 Replies latest jw friends
Patio34, I love your ID: "potential apostate but uncaught." I think that's what I am, too. LOL
I have to agree with both Hmmm and belbab. Ask your JW son how much shunning he is going to take on you and your Shunned son, and also ask your Shunned son how much he can take on the JW son. You'd never know. I found out today that not all JWs are respecting the WTS's shunning policy strictly. It was a surprise.
Hi Sunshine Too, That's the one thing I wish I'd have done was ask Hank Harddub son what was his intention towards Shunned Sam. But, alas, I sent the e-mail before posting my letter on this board. I KNEW that I shouldn't have sent it quite so soon. Your statement that you learned all JWs weren't taking the hardline on shunning just begs the question: what happened?
Pat
Well, first of all, my mom still talks to me. I love her very much, and I know that she loves me so much, too. Maybe because my dad is not a JW, we have family dinner together on the weekends. In fact she insisted on that.
Regarding other JWs, I have a business that deals with children. Today I learned that all my JWs' children would like to stay with me. The children are not baptized JWs yet, and as long as the parents ( devouted JWs ) and I don't have direct communication too much esp. on "spiritual matter", they think it is o.k. Now, I told them and my mom that the WTS changed their policy regarding DA ones. They still think it is o.k. as long as I'm not an active apostate. Well, I know that's kinda .... you know what I mean. But these kids needs a lot of help as well. I cannot just abandon them. I want to help these kids. Forget the parents. Some of these kids were coming out of serious depression. They are now beginning to gain some self-esteem and confidence. I really hated when I thought I had to let them go. I've already contacted by others (non-JWs) for my time. But I think I'll save it for these JW kids.
Pat, call your son or send him another email that you have a change of heart or that you would like to hear from him what he thinks of this matter. He is your son. I can tell that you love him very much. I see in this forum that many are bittered and angry at not only the WTS but also at the JWs in general. We all know that the WTS is to blame mostly, but I don't think we should let this issue take over our rational thinking ability and our love toward our friends and esp. toward our family. I know that some JWs are like robots; they can turn their "friendship switch" on and off at the command of the WTS. But as you may know and I know that most of them are meek. Don't you think that's why they became JWs in the first place?
I don't know how old your sons are. But I know that you are in a very difficult situation. Try to be patient and understanding toward your JW son. I bet he is very frustrated. He probably thinks that he has lost his mom and brother. He may not know how to act. Maybe that's why he's been so rude and mean to you and your Shunned son.
Tell him you still love him. Tell him you are still his mother, and he is your baby. Um...I'm not sure if he is going to like the "baby" part. ;-) Tell him you all are one family. Mother's love is a God given gift. I do not think any human being has a right to deny that, not even the WTS. Tell him you understand his standing. Tell him you would never hate him just because he is a JW. And most of all, tell him again that YOU are his mother and that you love him so very much.
I'm a DA'd one. I don't have any harsh feeling toward the JWs, um...maybe except for the WTS and some really really mean JWs. ;-) As I posted somewhere I think they are "victims of victims" and "followers of followers" just like Ray Franz said. Remember, Pat, that we used to be one of them. As former JWs, don't you think we should understand them more than anyone?
Whoa, I just noticed that I've become a "Senior member"! I thought I was a newbie. ;-p
Pat,
One thing you haven't told us: What does your daughter, &&&&, think of all this?
Hmmm
Hi Sunshine Too, congratulations on being a Senior member! Thanks for your experiences with the issue. The JW son is 32 years old and the df'd son is 24. The ages make a difference I think too.
Hmmmm, I've really got this red thing down pat now! Both of the kids in my letter are men. The youngest one, 24, at home, would never have precipitated this, but is agreeable. He wasn't looking forward to having Hank Harddub in the house and would probably avoided him at all costs.
Pat
Update on my letter (Sunday 7/21/02):
Well, this was better than I expected and it appears I didn't give him enough credit. I'm so relieved and glad that this was the outcome.
mom,
very understandable and good of you to write and thinking ahead. i will
make arrangements to stay with the (active JW friends). i haven't reviewed the aug. km.
my understanding that it is largely a concience matter in many regards esp.
when i only see (Shunned Sam) once in a long time. well, i am not offended nor
viewing this as persecution but rather forethought into a touchy situation.
i look forward to seeing you all in a few weeks.
love (Hank Harddub).
On the other hand . . . Nah! I'm not going to go reading things into this nor look for trouble.
Pat
Ya know, Momma Mia,
Hardheaded Hank is your product also................. He took your letter well, which is indicative of that fact. He might really enjoy the freedom of speech he'll enjoy with jw friends of his - and then he can come & visit with y'all in a No Fight Zone (which shunning causes, imho).
Btw, for all who read this - Pat's kids are all good people, handsome & pretty, strong willed & intelligent. Btw, that pretty much sums up Pat too
Maybe by showing your strength & dignity to Hard Hank BEFORE his visit - and y'all coming to agreeable terms - you've initiated some good boundries for yourself. I remember the time when you might have just rolled your eyes at Hard Hank (but you were a jw woman then - without the freedom to speak out about *such things.*
Again.........you go, girl. Well done.
waiting
Thanks for the post, Waiting! And thanks for all the compliments! I feel relieved that he chose to take the high road. Enjoy your Sunday!
Pat
Edited by - Patio34 on 21 July 2002 11:6:51
Well, hey there! Pat!
Let me get some more coffe & give you a call, whatcha think? whatcha think?
Will try shortly.
waiting
