In MY kingdom hall........

by Pistoff 29 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Pistoff

  wow........great features in our new KH

  I am with the NO df'ing......if we are spiritually strong, i don't need pasty face JC members protecting me from sister and brother smith because they have "perverted sex", meaning of course the really good oral stuff.......

  keep it coming group

  What do we believe in?

  I am not so sure of what I think anymore....I know I believe in God and Jesus, and some sort of congregation arrangement, but beyond that.....wow, I don't think I know..

  How about it??
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  SYN

  Well, Pistoff, I believe in the horizontal head arrangement for couples!
• 

  DiscoSandy

  In addition to the other great ideas already posted, we would CELEBRATE,CELEBRATE,CELEBRATE:

  • Baby dedication service for newborns
  • Recognition service for high school and college graduates
  • Massive Christmas celebration (carol service, children's play, etc.)
  • Mothers and Fathers day service with special messages for moms and dads
  • Recognize birthdays! Especially ones that end in zero, they deserve a round of applause at least !

  AND we would SUPPORT, SUPPORT,SUPPORT

  • Support groups for single parents, elderly, any other group that may have special needs or concerns
  • Special prayer services for open prayer, women and children given equal opportunity to pray openly!
• 

  Pistoff

  bttt
• 

  not the administrator

  ever hear that song on bob and toms called the first baptise bar and grill ? thats what i would do.
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  love2Bworldly

  My KH: would serve as a voting poll booth, a military sign-up post, university/college recruitment staff would have monthly meetings, we would have a monthly movie night of only rated 'R' and 'XX' movies, we would have Tuesday night orgies, Thursday night book study of the most recent Stephen King or other demonized books, Sundays would be a full on Babylon the Great Harlot Church Service with worldly singing of Jesus' praises, and the Sunday talk would be on all the church doctrines from Christendom that actually do have a Bible base such as the Trinity, Mondays would be a local blood drive in the KH parking lot, and Saturday mornings we would have a Church Rummage sale where many demonized items would be for sale with the proceeds going to the annual Christmas Party.
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  undercover

  In my Kingdom Hall:

  The literature counter would be a bar

  The library and elder's room would be VIP rooms

  The stage/platform would be converted to a runway

  The auditorium would have the chairs ripped out and tables and chairs set up so that all could see the runway.

  The KH sign would become a neon sign

  The covered carport would be valet parking

  The sound "box" would become the DJ booth

  "Allright guys! Let's give it up for our next two dancers on stage now....Jezebel and Babylon! Get those dollar bills out and tip your dancers."
• 

  BluesBrother

  And Cab Calloway said to the Blues Brothers , "You boys could do with some churchin' up. you better get on down to the Triple Rock Baptist church"

  

  Sounds like my kind of place.
• 

  TheListener

  I just want a place where I can feel free to think about the scriptures as they're discussed without fear that I'm not following the latest wt/aw article or some other prepackaged rule.
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  Pistoff

  I just want a place where I can feel free to think about the scriptures as they're discussed without fear that I'm not following the latest wt/aw article or some other prepackaged rule.

  Here here; how about just letting rank and file discuss THEIR ideas; what do they have to fear?

  We certainly could hardly do worse than the WT leadership: 2 witnesses for all infractions in order to be taken seriously.

  Yikes.