by paulmolark 38 Replies latest social humour
Simon - The look of shock, fear and confusion on my face prompted a clarification about what we were talking about. Yes, very different.
I've also had a worker from the US look shocked when a colleague in the UK said he was nipping out to have a quick suck on a fag. You could see the shocked "who ARE these people?!?" on his face, LOL
This made me spit my coffee over my laptop.
paulmolark - "How do you distinguish Americans?"
Ask them what language is spoken in Canada.
We Brits are gradually becoming Americans....a lot of our TV is from the US...and bloomin' great it is too.
Then I must be becoming a Brit because I watch BBC all the time, lol. Cross culturalism I guess. I do often have to translate for my husband, he is hard of hearing and between the accents and differences in slang he sometimes doesn't get what they are saying. He likes the French or Italian movies better because of the subtitles.
The Brits have peculiar words for many things. Money is referred to as "goolies" in slang, so you should for instance say "I'd love to come to the pub but I haven't got any goolies." "Quid" is the modern word for what was once called a "shilling"-the equivalent of seventeen cents American. Underpants are called "wellies" and friends are called "tossers." If you are fond of someone, you should tell him he is a "great tosser"-he will be touched. The English are a notoriously demonstrative, tactile people, and if you want to fit in you should hold hands with your acquaintances and tossers when you walk down the street. Public nuzzling and licking are also encouraged, but only between people of the same sex.
One of the most delighful ways to spend an afternoon in Oxford or Cambridge is gliding gently down the river in one of their flat- bottomed boats, which you propel using a long pole. This is known as "cottaging." Many of the boats (called "yer-i-nals") are privately owned by the colleges, but there are some places that rent them to the public by the hour. Just tell a professor or policeman that you are interested in doing some cottaging and would like to know where the public yerinals are. The poles must be treated with vegetable oil to protect them from the water, so it's a good idea to buy a can of Crisco and have it on you when you ask directions to the yerinals. That way people will know you are an experienced cottager.
Speaking of the British Library, you should know that it has recently moved to a new location at Kew. Kew is a small fishing village in Wales. It can be reached by taking the train to Cardiff; once there, ask any local about the complimentary shuttle bus to Kew. Don't forget that buses are called "prams" in England, and trains are called "bumbershoots"-it's a little confusing at first. Motorcycles are called "lorries" and the hospital, for reasons unknown, is called the "off-license". It's also very important to know that a "doctor" only means a PhD in England, not a physician. If you want a physician, you must ask for an "MP" (which stands for "master physician").
For those travelling on a shoestring budget, the London Tube may be the most economical way to get about, especially if you are a woman. Chivalry is alive and well in Britain, and ladies still travel for free on the Tube. Simply take some tokens from the baskets at the base of the escalators or on the platforms; you will find one near any of the state-sponsored Tube musicians. Once on the platform, though, beware! Approaching trains sometimes disturb the large Gappe bats that roost in the tunnels. The Gappes were smuggled into London in the early 19th century by French saboteurs and have proved impossible to exterminate. The announcement "Mind the Gappe!" is a signal that you should grab your hair and look towards the ceiling. Very few people have ever been killed by Gappes, though, and they are considered only a minor drawback to an otherwise excellent means of transportation. (If you have difficulty locating the Tube station, merely follow the sign that say "Subway" and ask one of the full-time attendants where you can catch the bumbershoot.)
One final note: for preferential treatment when you arrive at Heathrow airport, announce that you are a member of Shin Fane (an international Jewish peace organization-the "shin" stands for "shalom"). As savvy travellers know, this little white lie will assure you priority treatment as you make your way through customs; otherwise you could waste all day in line. You might, in fact, want to ask a customs agent to put a Shin Fane stamp in your passport, as it will expedite things on your return trip.
Snugglebunny'
A Quid in Australia was a pound note before decimal currency and is still used. " I'm just trying to make a Quid'. A shilling was 12 pennys and there were 20 shillings to a pound. 240 pennys to a pound.
"I'm sure ISIL "freedom fighting" ar$e hole$ are fit as all get out."
Syria, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Iraq, and all of Gulf states have one of the highest obesity rates in the world, probably ahead of USA at this point. Morbid obesity there is also cultural, synonymous with wealth and health since ancient ages. Sultans kept harem of morbidly obese women, and we do not talk about couple pounds overweight. Many of these women were so huge that they could not move. This channeled to the rest of the culture all over Islam. Some countries women are deliberately overeating to become extremely fat. That the region has with one of the highest BMI recorded on level of Samoans. In Mauritania, Mali, Djibouti have one of the highest female obesity in the world, because skinny women are not desirable marriage material. Families prior marriage will keep girls in stall like setting where they would be fed with incredible amount of sugar (from dates and mangoes) and minimize their body movement. After while, they expand into BMI > 35 but often to 40 and more, and they finally became a wedding material.
European culture with exception of Baroque epoch never had fatties as their cultural icons. Christianity condemned gluttony, and many European leading females suffered with anorexia like Empress Sisi, Marie Antoinette, and Josephine.
