I need some funny answers......

by Europe 20 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  joannadandy

  1. Which religion do you have?I don't have a religion but I eat a lot of Jeezie-o's, which is the spiritual food to start your day.
  
  2. When did you decide to become a member / to withdraw your membership?I started eating them when I saw the commerical promising everlasting life in each box. I quit eating when I only found a cupon for everlasting life redeemable at a later date, and that I would be mailed with notification.
  
  3. Did your parents have the same religion? Sadly they still eat Jeezie-o's and swear it gives them all the minerals they need, but it's sad really because they never read the nutritional label for themselves, they just eat them because all their friends tell them it's what they should do.
  
  4. Have you been beaten from time to time when you were young? Do you mean beating myself? I don't see how my masturbation habits are any concern of yours.
  
  5. Did you have an easy youth?No he/she was a virgin too, and it took a lot of booze the first time to get him/her to give it up.
  
  6. Do you believe in God?I believe in Dog.
  
  7. If yes, do you think he cares about us?I dunno he mostly licks his butt, needs a flea dip, and chases his tail.
  
  8. Conerning 6: Has this always been the case?He didn't always have fleas, oh you mean six? Yeah I always liked dogs--it stems from my days of reading about Pokie the Spotted Puppy.
  
  9. Do you believe in Evolution-theory? No, if Natural-Selection were true, most of the stupid religious people would be dead.
  
  10. What happens with us after the death, in your opinion? Our friends laugh at our death face and then compare it to our orgasm face, and then our children bitch about what they get in the will.
  
  11. What will this planet look like in 100 years?I'll be dead, what do I care?
  
  12. Do you think it would be a good idea to abolish all religions?No. I would miss the crusades, people yelling at me, people praying over me, the mass genocides, the scandal, the guilt, the opression, the corruption, not to mention all the "a priest, a rabbi, and a minister" jokes.
  

  Edited by - joannadandy on 10 July 2002 18:50:37
• 

  truthseeker1

  1. I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

  2. can't top 151's comment

  3. My parents religions are the same but they disagree on everything

  4. Yeah, I beat it as a child...Oh, you didn't mean that?

  5. Bad_seed's is too funy to mess with

  6. I believe that anyone can make anything their god

  7. My god cares about all his creations, creatures such as parasites and dinosaurs he killed off after his purposes are done with them, Laws such as Entropy, and naturally occuring poisonous elements such as mercury, lead and chlorine.

  8. I always believe what I believe, if I didn't they would be someone else's beliefs

  9. No, I believe in Evolution-fact

  10. After I die, my hit points start droping by 1 till I reach -10. Then I really die. If I get bandaged up before I reach -10 I stop bleeding and then I regain HP back at a rate of 1 HP a day. I can be magically healed to speed up the process. If I reach -10, only a Raise Dead, Ressurection or Reincarnation spell can bring me back. If a raise dead spell is used, I lose 1 point of constitution ,come back to 1 HP and need 2 weeks bed rest until I can be fully functional again. If a Resurrection spell is used I pop back up with full HP, ready for action. Ressurection makes me into a random creature (see table not included) and I swing by a couple of weeks later. Otherwise I go to the appropriate outer plane.

  11. In 100 years we will be flying around in cars and shooting laser beams out our eyes.

  12. The day all religion is abolished is the day all humans die. A religion is what people believe, whether it is in God or not.

  Edited by - truthseeker1 on 10 July 2002 19:10:8

  Edited by - truthseeker1 on 10 July 2002 19:10:50
• 

  SYN

  1. Which religion do you have?

  I don't have any religions. But I've been in some.

  2. When did you decide to become a member / to withdraw your membership?

  My parents decided I was going to be a member for me. Later on, I rectified this mistake of theirs.

  3. Did your parents have the same religion?

  Doh. See above.

  4. Have you been beaten from time to time when you were young?

  Oh, of course, mentally by the doctrines of the Dub!

  5. Did you have an easy youth?

  Nope, it was truly difficult to lay those young "popular" sisters! I was your stereotypical geek, lacking only the glasses! That, and I was virtually never seen in the FS work, so I fell neatly into the demographic between the "hardcore spiritual marriage material brothers" and the "rebellious sons who never go out in FS but are excellent short-term lays". My Conventions were very boring.

  6. Do you believe in God?

  Which one?

  7. If yes, do you think he cares about us?

  He loves us very much, but it's a long-distance relationship. He's in the Pleiedes.

  8. Conerning 6: Has this always been the case?

  Yes, of course, silly, since I was born. In fact, I was even religious to a certain extent in the womb, berating my mother for not going to meetings by whacking the walls of the womb with my little feet and fists. Aren't I "spiritual"?

  9. Do you believe in Evolution-theory?

  Don't go near any archeologists, dude, because they'll stick you up in a museum display with the caption "Missing Link Found At Last"!

  10. What happens with us after the death, in your opinion?

  OH NO, IT'S "THE DEATH"! "The Death" is an obscure thrash-metal band based in southern Rwanda, and they only have a dedicated fan base of 3 people, two of whom live in Japan, and also one grandmother in Cape Town who likes the lead bassist's goatee style. What happens after them in the Rwandan thrash-metal scene is anyone's guess!

  11. What will this planet look like in 100 years?

  Pretty much like it looks now, except there will be more Macdonald's containers lying around and less Dubs. Also, the Rwandan Thrash-Metal Scene will be HUGE I tell you!

  12. Do you think it would be a good idea to abolish all religions?

  See above.
  
  

  Thanks for your time!

  Hello, you're not supposed to say that at the doors you nitwit!

  Edited to add the Rwandan Thrash-Metal Scene Thing.

  Edited by - SYN on 10 July 2002 19:16:20
• 

  Crazy151drinker

  Pepper:

  Sorry, I couldnt hear you. After a week worth of withdrawls and peaks, my hearing is shot :)
• 

  VeniceIT

  # 1 What Religion are you???

  I'm not really any religion I'm just 'a good person', but.... I'm non practicing!

  #12--HELL YA!!!

  Ven

  Edited by - VeniceIT on 10 July 2002 19:30:57
• 

  CC Ryder

  #1. I worship along with the good Reverand Billy Saul Harkus

  #2. I decided to become a member when I first heard the song...I don't care if it rains or freezes...as long as I got my plastic jesus...riding on the dashboard of my car....I can go a hundred miles an hour ...as long as I got the almighty power...riding up there by my pair of fuzzy dice.....(Imus-in-the-Morning)

  #9. Yes....I saw Planet of the Apes too..

  #12. Naaaaah......to much fun Bashing....
• 

  SpiceItUp

  1. Which religion do you have? I have them all for breakfast with my crumpets and tea!

  2. When did you decide to become a member / to withdraw your membership? I didnt withdraw..he did

  3. Did your parents have the same religion? They dont like crumpets

  4. Have you been beaten from time to time when you were young? I was beaten but not mixed..didnt want to contaminate the flavor too much

  5. Did you have an easy youth? no..but I was one

  6. Do you believe in God? wait..uhh..I know this one..wasn't this on the SAT's..dang it musta been one I missed

  7. If yes, do you think he cares about us? he? i though it was an it?

  8. Conerning 6: Has this always been the case? shoot..ifn I caint remember how do I know way back when

  9. Do you believe in Evolution-theory? yeah..you would too if you saw me apes parents.

  10. What happens with us after the death, in your opinion? We get buried or burned up...whichever your family fancies

  11. What will this planet look like in 100 years? duh..havent you ever watched Star-Trek..we are all gonna wear the same thing.

  12. Do you think it would be a good idea to abolish all religions? they abolished slavery so sure why not
• 

  ItsJustlittleoldme

  1. Which religion do you have?

  I don't HAVE any religion.. I belong to a religion, however... I certainly don't run my own religion..

  2. When did you decide to become a member / to withdraw your membership?

  Member of what?
  
  

  3. Did your parents have the same religion?

  Nope, we never had our own religion.. We shared a religion with about 2 Billion other people on the planet :-)
  

  4. Have you been beaten from time to time when you were young?

  Only by a wet noodle, but this was my recurring nightmare.. Other than that, I had a healthy happy childhood..
  
  

  5. Did you have an easy youth?

  Na, not really.. Mom and dad had me out tending the garden by the age of 12 Months.. I had to work for my childhood, it was earned, it wasn't given to me <G>
  
  

  6. Do you believe in God?

  Yep, of course I do. Do you?
  

  7. If yes, do you think he cares about us?

  Whoa! There is no us.. We are friends, but that's all.. Don't read too much into my emails to you.. I love ya, but NOT THAT WAY !
  
  

  8. Conerning 6: Has this always been the case?

  Well, I don't remember before the age of 1 or 2, so I don't really know.. I don't think I was consiously aware of him while I was in my mother's womb, either.
  
  

  9. Do you believe in Evolution-theory?

  Yeah, all theories evolve over time..
  

  10. What happens with us after the death, in your opinion?

  We are either buried, creamated, or just left to rot.. Depends on where you live, and your family and friends sense of humor!
  

  11. What will this planet look like in 100 years?

  I'm guessing it will still be relativly round, much as it looks like now.
  
  

  12. Do you think it would be a good idea to abolish all religions?

  No, their different robes, collars, suits, dresses and the like are good for making jokes at!
  
  

  Thanks for your time!""

  You are welcome, however, I would like my time back when you get a chance! I only loaned it to you, I didn't give it to you!
• 

  Mac

  1) A more appropriate question would be; "Which religion have you been had by?"
• 

  Europe

  THANX so much for your time guys!!! The answers are great!

  I will 'mix' all the answers so I can send him a nice email from all of you!

  Regards,

  Europe