NSync Guy In Space

SYN

<RANT>
Seems that old Lance Bass has got tentative preliminary approval for his flight up into space from Rosaviakosmos!

Let's have a quick look at the two last paying "space tourists" who've gone up to the still-incomplete ISS:

Dennis Tito: DAMN rich guy, but he worked on space-related stuff before, so he was qualified.
Mark Shuttleworth: South African Bubble-Millionaire (Go Mark Go! The guy is my hero OK!) The CNN article below says that he even helped the Soviets to troubleshoot the computers on the ISS...

The point here is that both these guys did some pretty useful stuff on the ISS. Now, inquiring minds want to know what exactly Lance Bass is going to accomplish if he goes up there? He's not exactly a Tito or a Shuttleworth, now is he? In fact, his sole claim to fame is being a member of a group of young guys that regularly go into small, dark, sound-proofed rooms and attempt to croon into large metal rods, and then thanks to the raging hormones of young teenage girls, have managed to amass ludicrous amounts of money from the sales of small, shiny disks with billions of tiny pock-marks in them that make funny noises when you put them inside special machines (which also have to be bought from a shop, oddly enough).

So how does this qualify Lance for working on the ISS? Surely this skill is one that he WON'T be needing up there? What more will he be than dead weight?

But, since he's paying for it, I guess it's his right. The main thing here is that I don't want some guy who was in the right place at the right time and got rich because of it screwing up our faltering space effort.
</RANT>

There is soon going to be a very large petition sent to Rosaviakosmos asking them to neglect to apply heat shielding to the return vehicle used by Lance Bass's expedition!

Here's the article for those interested in reading more...

http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/space/07/09/tourist.bass.reut/index.html

Edited to add: Humans are weird!

Edited by - SYN on 10 July 2002 16:1:33

FriendlyFellaAL

Syn,

Just my two cents, but there is one thing that Lance Bass can bring to this expedition that neither Tito nor Shuttleworth could provide: massive, mega, ultra-publicity. I couldn't tell you more than a handful of people who had heard of either man before their space expeditions, but Bass has a built-in audience.

Not that I'm an N'Sync fan or anything (nah! ) but I think this might just be the smartest move the Soviets could have made. It will increase interest in the space station exponentially and the audience for the launch should be massive.

Brian

funkyderek

Maybe we should try to raise the cash to send the rest of the band up there too. Four bullets would be cheaper though.

SYN

Good point FriendlyFella! Shuttleworth may have been rich, but he was no popstar! He was SUPER famous and stuff in South Africa for the LONGEST time though...

XandersEvilTwin

what exactly Lance Bass is going to accomplish if he goes up there....and then thanks to the raging hormones of young teenage girls

Agreeing with FriendlyFellaAL here.

What he will do is bring the space program publicity. You have NO IDEA how close several critical programs are to being cut here. Hell, we put men on the moon, but since, no American has left near orbit for, like, 30 years now.

There is just NO PUBLIC INTEREST in space right now. Which is a terrible, terrible shame.

Hubble has helped some, but only to draw the techie crowd back to space. We need public exposure - big pop stars saying things like "space is cool, let's all go..." and stuff.

One live broadcast from the ISS from him could do more for the US space program than every PR campaign for the past decade.

SYN

EvilTwinGuy: The primary demographic for his, uh, "talents", (so to speak ) is for the most part not even remotely interested in space travel!

Xander

No, that's certainly true now.

THAT'S THE POINT.

How many US citizens even KNOW there is a space station in orbit?

You have any idea? It's simply amazing the level of disinterest in space over here.

If their 'target demographic' can whine loudly enough to get their parents to tune to the live broadcast (and you know it will be live) from the ISS....

Well, it may respark some interest again. Of course, probably in a BAD way. Suddenly EVERYONE will be the expert on the space station, and why it is interesting, and what it means for us, and....*shudders*

Maybe we'd better keep him on the ground....

JanH

How much do we have to pay to make him stay there?

- Jan

SYN

JanH: Sadly, NSYNC is a bit like a fungus, if you kill a part of it, it just grows right back. So merely knocking off Ye Olde Lancey Guy is not going to have the desired effect. What we really need is a virus that is gene-tailored to home in on the bodies of people in boy bands. Apparently the medical researchers are nearly done with it.

Side note: Boy band music has gotten me laid before (LOOOOONG story), so it can't be ALL bad. I suppose that's like saying Hitler wasn't ALL bad because he killed millions, yet he was truly kind to his budgie.

truthseeker1

Look at the bright side, Nobody can hear you sing from space! Perhaps they plan on leaving him up there.

NSync Guy In Space - GOOD!

SYN