by Amazing 23 Replies latest jw friends
Hi Lyin Eyes:
Even if a 1000 yrs is like a day to him, he knows it is not to us. It is like a freakin 1000 years to us.
I spit my coffee out when I read this. ... very good point! At times I go through these kinds of posts where I question God ... not out of disrespect ... but trying to understand. Yes, it seems that the over 6,000 years since Adam & Eve have been long enough to prove God's point.
Yes, it seems that the over 6,000 years since Adam & Eve have been long enough to prove God's point.
Hi Amazing. This is the problem we all have. If there is a God.....why does God allow us to suffer. If he is letting time go by to prove to humans what happens when we disobey.........who gets to see what he proved? Every generation goes by with dead people in their graves knowing nothing about what is being proved. How many generations of people does it take to prove a point? The first generation of people, after sin suffered as we do.....that could have proved his point. But he lets thousands of generations go by....all suffering..........what is proved?
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Posted by Farkel [Keflar] on August 26, 2000 at 13:50:21 {hOVTmOYbDkjc7.1TE24IvhKqcjatLo}:
WARNING!! Those of you with tender religious sensibilities should NOT read this post. Only those of you with the thickest of skins should proceed. This is going to get ugly
God gets bored. He decides to make some creatures to keep him company. After a while, they all get bored, too. God says, "Hey lets make some mortal creatures and mess them all up." They all agree that is a good idea, so God creates two humans.
"First thing we have to do is give them a test they couldnt possibly pass, and then mess them up when they fail it," God declares. So God says (in effect) to the two humans, "Look, you both are pretty stupid, but theres a tree over there that will give you all the knowledge of good and bad that you need to know. Theres only one minor problem. The day you eat from it, Ill kill you."
So the couple obeyed him. After a while, God becomes bored again, and says, "Theyre NOT eating from that tree. What should I do? This is boring." One of his companions says, "Why dont you trick them into eating from it?" God says, "Good idea! Let it be done." One of the companions decided that he could trick one of them by using a talking animal, so he picked a snake. One of the other companions said, "You moron! Snakes dont even have vocal cords!" The first one replies, "No problem. Ill use ventriloquism. Theyre pretty dumb. Theyll think it is actually the snake that is talking."
So the "talking" snake tricks the woman and the woman convinces the man to also eat from the tree. When they both discovered they were then in deep doo-doo with God, they declared, "Hey, we have SEX organs! We never noticed we had them before! Its embarrassing to have SEX organs! Wed better cover ourselves up and hide from God." They were a REALLY stupid couple.
So God says, "First, Ill screw up the snake by knocking off his legs." And God knocked off the snakes legs. A companion said, "Ok, God, I guess you have to keep your word and kill that couple right now." God replies, "Heck, no! It took a long time to make them. I think Ill let them be miserable for, say hundreds of years. Ill make the woman be miserable when she gives birth, Ill make them sweat and be in pain when they work, and Ill kick them out of the garden. I get to watch them get old, worn-out and die in pain. Then, Ill make ALL of their children and childrens children miserable. That should be FUN to watch! Later on, well get some guy to write that my days are 1,000 years long. No one will know the difference."
After a while God says, "I have to have a way to let these humans know that I really enjoy killing, so I think Ill have those two guys Cain and Abel offer up something for me. The one that doesnt kill anything is going to be the one that suffers." Cain didnt kill anything, so he suffered. Abel killed something and thought that by so doing that he wouldnt have to suffer. He was wrong. Cain killed him. God thought the whole show was hilarious.
God gets bored again. "I think Ill kill the entire planet, except for a few folks," he said. And he did. As soon as the leader of the survivors got of the Ark, he killed something to show his gratitude for God killing everyone on the planet except him and his family.
Later on this guy named "Nimrod" went around killing all sorts of creatures and humans and he became legendary. Nothing bad happened to him, except God got bored and let him die. God says to one of his companions, "Even though I think Nimrod was a pretty cool guy, let somebody write that I didnt like him. I dont want those stupid humans to know what kind of a show we really have going on up here."
God gets bored just about the time a bunch of people decide to erect a high-rise building. God says, "I think Ill kill them all." The companions plead with him, "Dont do that! With all this killing its going to take forever to get that earth populated." God say, "Ok, but Im still going to screw them up by giving them a whole bunch of different languages to speak. You guys take care of it, but theres only a couple of details: 1) Make sure that only two people are able to speak each language, and make sure one is a male and the other is a female. 2) If a man is short, fat and ugly, make sure his companion is tall, skinny and beautiful, and vice-versa. That way at least ONE of each couple will be miserable." And it was done, and God had a ball watching those tiny bands of wretched humans who had to start all over again in building their lives, families and cultures.
God again gets bored and tries all sorts of things for entertainment. He tries to get this guy named Abraham to kill his son, and Abraham almost did it. God promises to "bless" Abrahams offspring for nearly killing his son, and Abraham believed him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Was that ever a clever ruse! Abraham had no idea what was in store for his offspring: hundreds and hundreds of years of forced slavery, zillions of skirmishes and wars, and of course, God personally doing tons of killing to that "blessed" offspring over the millennia to come. "Ill bet that stupid Abraham would be shocked to know Im gonna allow 6,000,000 of his offspring to starve to death, get gassed to death and die in all sorts of horrible ways," God snarled.
Got gets bored yet again and decides to make a bet with one of his companions: "See that guy Job down there? Mess him up. Give him boils and kill his wife and kids. Have all his friends turn on him." God wins the bet, and Job gets the booby prize: a new wife who turns out to be a total nag, and new kids who are lazy and stupid.
"See that guy named Lot down there?", God asks. Make his three daughters seduce him into having sex with them, and then later on, have someone write how "righteous" he was. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, by the way, kill is wife, too. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
One day one of his companions report to God that some teen-aged boys are teasing one of his prophets because hes bald. "KILL THEM," God orders. "Get a bunch of bears to rip them to shreds." And so it was done.
As the centuries pass, the killings and human misery keep compounding, but God is still bored. "Make a bunch of nasty viruses," he tells a companion. "I want to see some juicy pestilences. I want MILLIONS to die in the shortest possible time."
After about 4,000 years of all this fun, God finds out that the people are beginning to get wise to his games, and God comes up with a clever plan to come out smelling like a rose: "Im going to kill my firstborn son," he said. "Thats horrible!" he was told. "That will even make you look worse than you do now."
God replied, "Dont worry, Ive got it all figured out. You keep forgetting how stupid those humans really are. Heres the plan: Im going to have some words written that make it look like I was the good guy through all of this, and that it was mans fault for the misery theyre in. Im going to have them think Ill "save them" from all this misery by having my Son get killed. Watch! Theyll buy every word of it!"
God almost has remorse over what is about to do, but then his son says things like "blessed are the merciful and they will be shown mercy," and "take my yoke. It is kindly and light."
"That DOES it," God shouts. "Im gonna kill now for sure! How DARE he say things like that?"
So God has his son killed and makes sure the son suffers a whole bunch before he dies. The companions say to him, "Well, God you did promise those humans that once your son died that a "ransom" was fully paid and that they would be delivered from the death and miserable situation you put them into in the first place. Are you going to keep that promise now?"
"Are you kidding?", God replied. The fun is just beginning. Weve got the Black Plague and a half-dozen major World Wars coming up. There are hundreds of millions of more people to kill. The best part is that those people who believed that I killed my son to deliver them from their misery are going to be the people who do most of the killing in my name in the future! Those humans are simply a pack of idiots. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this could be so much fun."
And the "fun" continues to this very day, and the joke is on us...
Farkel
Then again...
Maybe your (our?) entire premise if flawed because it rests on a falsehood, i.e. the bible is the infallible word of god.
Maybe it's not. Maybe it's something else all together.
