Alternative lyrics to kingdom songs

by Matty 19 Replies latest social humour

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  Matty

  Have you ever sung alternative lyrics to kingdom songs during a meeting or a convention? To qualify they have to sound very similar to the actual words so you can get away with it without too much attention being drawn to yourself. Here are three examples, I'm sure there are many more, so please feel free to add!

  "...Weird Jehovah's Witnesses,
  We speak out in foolishness,
  Arse is the god of true prophesy..."

  (113 We Are Jehovah's Witnesses!)

  "...Jehovah's servants need to be strong,
  Due to the pressures from Satans thong..."

  (92 Preach With Boldness)

  "...flint like are their feaces,
  With no hint of fear..."

  (166 See Jehovah's Army!)

  Edited to go to Humour section (probably debatable)

  Edited by - matty on 7 July 2002 9:14:59
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  CC Ryder

  Matty....don't tease us....tell us some more....that is soooooo funny......

  CC

  I've been trying to think of some....to much drain bamage....LOL
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  dustrabbit

  Just wait until I get back to America and I can raid my old JW stash back at my parents' house....hee hee Kingdom Melodies "Swinging" Dustrabbit style...

  the dustrabbit
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  Englishman

  Dunno about lyrics, but I do have some very unpleasant memories about Kingdumb Songs.

  When I was much younger (hah!), my kid brother and I would squabble interminably. So, my dear old mum would sit at the piano and strike up with:

  How pleasant to see brothers

  Who dwell in unity

  Who truly love each other (bleah!)

  La da da da da dee.

  Only years later was it pointed out to me that if you whistle that tune quickly, you are actually whistling the Looney Tunes cartoon introduction.

  Try it!

  Englishman.
• 

  ozziepost

  you are actually whistling the Looney Tunes cartoon

  Seems very appropriate to me!

  BTW how's the birthday bash going, Eman?

  Cheers, Ozzie (of the Land Too Far class)
• 

  musicnonstop

  Another couple of KM similarities...

  (1) "O come all you sons of Jehovah most high, who've given your hearts to your God..." - 'The Galaxy Song,' Monty Python

  (2) No.188 - Chorus: "Highly exalted, ne'er to be halted..." - 'Dambusters'

  (3) "Let the wicked forsake his evil way..." - 'Dad's Army' (UK posters only )

  "They never told me what was the truth - just a young man losing his youth..." - 'Bear Cage,' The Stranglers
• 

  Matty

  "…Move yer head, Move yer head to Maturity!
  It's the will of our God that we gain ability,
  Try your best to elude all the ministry…"

  (123 Move Ahead)

  "…Obedient and loyal he would serve,
  As God's constipated one…"

  (13 Christian Dedication)

  (The following one actually sounds dirty with absolutely no alteration at all)

  "…If with talents we are endowed,
  there's no reason e'er to be proud…"

  (213 Working Together In Unity)
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  SpiderMonkey

  ROFLMAO, Englishman, you are my HERO!!! I've been trying to remember for awhile now which one was the "Looney Tunes" song... Among the kids in my old cong, it was common knowledge that that was the "real" music for that particular Kingdom Melody.

  (Hehehe, even at bethel... 2 other young bethelites & I used to walk to our meetings together, & one time we got on this very subject... We sang the last few lines & then in unison did the "Doo doo DOOP! Doo doo DOOP! Ba doop doop doobie doobie doo doo DOOP! Ba doop doop doobie doo badado MWEEP!" <----hope that translates OK
• 

  Matty

  It doesn't look like anyone else does this apart from me; as you can plainly see I clearly have an erudite and sophisticated sense of humour!

  "A pair of tights
  our God has promised
  By means of Christ's
  Millennial reign..."

  (4 God's Promise of Paradise)

  "...The seven genital times have ended;
  Their kings have had their day..."

  (14 "Be Glad, You Nations"!)

  "...There is nothing lacking
  We've sent God packing
  What more from him do we now need to ask?..."

  (19 Joyful All Day Long)

  "...Kiss my bum, let God be angry
  And you perish in the way..."

  (168 Recognizing Earth's New King)

  (Edited to change formatting!)

  Edited by - matty on 7 July 2002 9:31:16
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  dobby

  I am crying!! I am laughing so hard

  This reminds me of a song I used to sing wrong when I was a kid

  "Enter the temple gate,

  God's favor supplicate"

  I sang it

  "Enter the temple gate,

  God's favorite suffocate"

  It used to conjure this image in my mind of people being suffocated with pillows outside of the temple. I couldn't understand why God would enjoy that, and if he did enjoy it what different methods of suffocation were there and which was HIS favorite?

  This is too funny!!!