It was NOT supposed to end like this.......

by singsongboi 11 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  singsongboi

  A few weeks ago my former mother-in-law (Gwenny James) died. Bowel cancer, so I suppose it was painful. And my former wife (Anita), has apparently taken it rather hard.

  When I heard the news, I couldn't help remembering the days when we were new jws. Gwen and Farleigh got the "truth" a couple of years before I did. Independently of each other, they had both read a publication and arrived at the same conclusion - " they had found the truth".

  A bright road and HOPE opened up to all of us -- serving Jehovah and never dying. Living through the imminent end of this system and then life forever in the new system of things.

  Along with hundreds of thousands of new witnesses, we were excited by the opportunities to do good to our fellow man, and to serve god at the same time. We were excited at the speed with which the good news spread, excited at the experiences of men and women, young and old, hearing and accepting the good news. As country after country experienced expansion we were thrilled to have a tiny part in this "grand" work and the hope that Jehovah had given us..

  Gwen and Farleigh, certainly determined to live up to their dedication vow, and experience the blessings Jehovah was going to pour out on "faithful ones". They did indeed give up much and accepted "little" materially, in return. As Hebrews 11:38, 39 says of the ancient prophets.. "the world was not worthy of them. They wandered about in deserts and mountains and caves of the earth. And yet all these. Did not get the fulfillment of the promise.." They did sell their home, served where the need was greater in New Caledonia, pioneered in australia, were on the circuit for many years

  ........ and fully expected to live through the great day of Armageddon and never die off the earth.

  This is not a hymn of praise -- I knew them too well, for that. But it is a story of fading hopes that many others may relate to.

  I am sure that Gwenny would disagree with me, but I can't help thinking how sad it is. Brothers who stated with confidence that Armageddon would be here in 5 years (as said to me in 1954 -- my father laughed at me when I told him, and had the last laugh) are themselves dead. Their bright hopes of never dying off the earth vanquished. As 1975, came and went, and the bright hopes of Freddy's promises faded away, and all things continued as from the beginning, more died -- hoping, hoping for a resurrection, and that their sacrifices had not been in vain. And now, nearly 30 years after 1975, time for young ones to grow up and have their own young children, they still wait with hope, a hope that has faded somewhat from those hope filled days of the early 50's.

  But as the expectation of spiritual hopes fade, one text must grow brighter in the hearts and minds of many -- The words of Proverbs 13: 12 .. "Expectation postponed is making the heart sick."

  Our way was Not supposed to end in death, but in life forever. But hope and excitement has died, and been replaced by a plodding determination that jw's must still be right. And paranoid bodies of elders all over the earth will quickly end your spiritual path, if you murmer of your disappointment in the fading hope.
• 

  TheOldHippie

  Amen to that, my friend, amen to that.

  Said a sister to me 20 years ago, "My father told us how we should play with elephants and lions after Armageddon" (meaning that this sister would still be a child when it happened), " - and now I am telling my own children the same thing!" - And, might I boldly add, now this sister's children are telling THEIR children the very same story .................

  My own children are growing up, I look at them and realise that now they are too "grown up" to fancy playing with elephants or lions. PCs and boys are better .........

  The hippie idealism of a better world, free from the evils of capitalism, where everybody would lay in the grass, smoking strange things and looking at even stranger things - vanished, as heroin and other mind-killers came around and capitalism proved to be the stronger force after all. These days, the Early Days' Witness Idealism is fading just as much, and the everyday going to and from work, going to sleep and realizing "the end didn't come today, either", and suddenly realise one is not preparing for entering The New World, but preparing for funerals and last wills - how quickly it all passed away.

  "Teach your children well" - yeah, but being taught by a depressed father they are.
• 

  Beck_Melbourne

  Hi Ken and OldHippie

  I was taught that I would never grow up and go to high school....then my mother said the same thing to my kids. My eldest will be finished high school next year (yr 12) and my youngest will start high school next year. So looks like the new system has to be here within the next few months or my faith goes out the window LOL.

  Its so sad when you think that life in "this system of things" could be all there is...what a waste!!

  Beck
• 

  TheOldHippie

  Perhaps we should go get ourselves one huge pile of bear cans and start crying at each other's shoulder?
• 

  singsongboi

  wasn't crying -- just philosophising..

  personally, i aint going back--no way!!! i'm having a great time just the way i am.
• 

  Haereticus

  singsongboy

  I refused the military before the 1975 fuss started and I was serving my time when the fuss started. My mother kept writing me how wonderful it was when this old system of things will vanish within few years and all that usual. My mother, bye the way, have been with the Borg 50+ years and still is. I got out of the two prisons, first from the literal and in few years from Borg by being DF'd.

  Then I got married and decided that I will be just a good example and not to read and talk about The Bible to my kids at all. I kept my idea but not hiding my past though. My son knew about my objection but I never said a single word as how he should behave in this respect, I left it all upon him. I was astonished when he came home one day and told that he chose civil service, in spite of the fact that he is very spotsminded, which I thought would have meant much to him.

  Both of my kids have years ago decided to keep their relation to their grandmother at less than a formal level. They did not like my mother pushing the truth(tm) too hard on them, but that was not all. The last straw to my son was grandmother making constant remarks of his long hair and trying to force him to cut it short. That was a sensitive issue to him at that age and I said to myself that let us wait and see. Today his hair is too short to my opinion, not skinhead though.

  My daughter has always had her own mind, she is very persistent but somehow I did not have problems in her handling (my wife had). My mother is strict type of an old lady and she tried to force my daughter to wear only skirts (typical dub). My daughter loved jeans and kept her head. I have very good relation to both of my kids but unfortunately my mother has in a way lost her first two grandchildren over her own dub-stupidity. I have told them to reconsider the situstion, but no avail. My daughter graduated a year ago and there was my mother aswell. The previous time they met was about six years ago. My wife made it clear before her death that her death is not even announced to my mother and I honored her last wish.

  If only my mother would have not pushed those dub do's and don'ts everywhere. They were my children and I had the prime responsibility not she. Anyway it feels good to have this told.

  Mark
• 

  Amazing

  HI Singsong: Thanks, this is really true about how JWs live and die. I didn't realize you had been dealing with this since 1954. I didn't get started with the JWs until late 1968 ... so I do recall the hopes and dreams of 1975 that never materialized.
• 

  JT

  Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  O that hurts --o that hurts so bad, -------------it was the change in the Generation Doctrine that started me on my way out of the so called "TRUTH"

  I can recall standing on the floor of the Washington Capital Centre and stating before over 15,000 folks that it was such a blessing to know that i would NEVER GROW OLD AND DIE - it was an outline talk and i ref the 1984 wt with the cover page of THE GENRATION OF 1914 WILL NOT DIE OUT-

  i recall that wt cover so well cause i was at bethel in 1984 when it came out and the pioneers in my territory of Harlem got DOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGED.

  YOU SEE --IF you look on the cover of the 1984 wt you will see about 25 older white bethelites representing the 1914 gen in fact almost all those on that cover shot are died at bethel by now-

  anyway in my territory up in Harlem ( which is the Capitol for Black Folks) man we had these Muslium, not the ones you see on tv from Iran o no - this were "Brothas from THE NATION"

  yes the Nation of Islam, the one and only Louis Farrakan boys, and man they gave the pioneer sisters a fit ; they would dog them all up and down 125th St about "See you all working for the White Man, no blacks are going to heaven and as you know when jw do street work they often use those little plastic sleeves so on comers can see the mags well they had to put them in thier bags.

  I recall a group of the "Brothas" talking to our Icon JR about what was the photography dept thinking when they left out black folks for the cover shot"

  he told us it was a rush job and they just grabbed the nearest old folks they could find of course there are very few older black bethelites, they were not letting too many black brothers in bethel back in the 30's 40' and 50's

  Well anyway that was my ace in the hole mag for it gave me and millions of JW a Solid Guarantee that we would never grow old and die- i could do the math and see that if i was 31 and Bro 1914 was 82 i would never reach his age, simply math that every jw did when the ref was made THIS GENERATION WILL NOT I REPEAT WILL NOT DIE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

  YES when the reality kicked in that they had snatched the rug from under my feet and millions of others it was time to reexamine things

  as has been so well pointed out - now jw are left with trying to hold on to what many feel deep inside is a lack luster hope now

  I was one of the 1975 kids and the excitement was running high

  i recall those talks about the birds eating the eyes out of the wicked during the battle of god

  i recall those mags and publications with the picture of the DRAGON HOLDING THE WILD BEAST and the Nations dangling on a string the USA capital building - buckingham palace, they russian parliment, the pictures of the UN and how all these were agents of Satan ---yes they would fuck with us and it would be like they are touching the EYEBALL OF JEHOVAH

  SUCH reassurance of the time of the end - the CO would viist and scare the hell out of us, the conventions were hard hitting the message was clear

  i recall one special tract campain where we just jumped out of the car ran up to the house and gave the tract to the householder- we only had so many days to get out all the tracts that the FDS had assigned to our congreation,

  yes the message was intense the atmosphere was intense the ZEAL WAS HIGH, but the passing of time and the no showing up of the master as promised by wt began to take it's toll

  while i feel that the vasty majority of jw will never come out i firmly believe that the feeling of getting tired willl IMPACT THE vast majority in the West especailly-

  in my moms hall they have combined 7 booksstudies into one large one on sat morning just to get folks out to the bookstudy and in service- they had 70 folks at one time attending now they avg 20-30 folks from 7 bookstudies

  even the elders don't show up, assigning some MS to take the group out-

  while i feel that all religion is bogus at least other folks enjoy their religion cause it doesnt put the demands on it;s members like wt-

  in my view JW are just GETTING TIRED OF THE SAME HO HUM-

  just my 2

  james
• 

  Mark69

  To TheOldHippie.

  I'm also from Poland and I visit this site very often. My English is too poor to take part of this discussion. I would like to get contact with somebody from Poland. My e-mail adress [email protected]

  Mark
• 

  singsongboi

  Haereticus -- i guess it was the army issue that leveraged me into dub city. Said before that i was an over-serious dumb kid and i was a pacifist -- so as the time for my national service approached (korean war that time) - i started thinking what to do ++++ i was also worried about feeling that i was attracted to guys.

  someone said jws wouldn't fight -- so i went to a meeting --... the rest is history.

  Amazing -- yeah mate, since 1954 --- too bloody long wasn't it... can't help seeing the parrallels with communism -- people start out full of ideals --- an finish in disillusioned depression...

  but, i imagine there is a bit of that at GB level also.. hanging tuff --waiting on jehovah!!!!

  and JT,

  can hurt can't it ??? i try not to let it!!!