by Perfection Seeker 20 Replies latest jw experiences
I DEFINITELY agree with Jan. Our experiences make us what we are. Learn from the bad, and take the good with us. People we've met along the way are also part of that experience. I believe that seeing the truth about the "TRUTH" has made me a better person.
Boozy
I'm a new poster (this is my first message!) - have been out for about 20 years (left when I was 18). A few years ago I would have said, YES, YES, let me forget my entire past. I spent a large part of my life trying to run away from my JW upbringing and dysfunctional family. But now I'm finally at the point where I'm accepting my life for what it is, and realizing that my bittersweet past does have some sweet in it. Bear in mind it took me 20 years to reach this - I'm a bit slow on the learning curve I guess!
Welcome to the board, DiscoSandy
I guess we all had different issues to deal with, and we're different persons, so some can "get over it" in a few months and others take years.
To me, the important thing was that I made my journey through learning to understand the movement I had grown up in. With understanding, I learned what utter nonsense it was. That is on an intellectual level, but I have never had any guilt whatsoever about breaking with the sect. I have not looked back at all. Of course, like everyone else in this world, I have issues and problems to struggle with, but I think few of them are related to growing up a dub.
- Jan
If you could "bump your head" and forget ALL the crap
LMAO!
SOmetimes that doesn't sound like such a bad idea but on the other hand if I did then I wouldn't be able understand the humor in that first line.
Surviving all the crap makes us definitely tougher and hopefully smarter. So my answer has to be no. plumEdited by - plmkrzy on 3 July 2002 8:58:43
I DID bump my head and it didn't do a BIT of good!!!! =;o)
Yeah, I'd like to forget it all.
*Trying to start over*
Tink =:o)
Erase it all? Yes, definitely. Sure, we are who we are because of our experiences have brought us here- I suppose it's because I can remember the oh-so-happy, bubbling, carefree, young girl I was pre-truth- sort of living by the 'a stranger is a friend you haven't met yet' philosophy.
since JW-dom, the programming has taken it's toll- I've battled with myself being too judgemental, non-trusting- after all, they're worldly people- they are not good assocoation, Jehovah does not approve of us mingling with them.
I've pushed some wonderful, funny, smart, caring persons out of my life- including 2 whom I'm sure were very much 'right' for me - in the sense of a 'soul-mate' due to the fact they were not interested in the truth. Their love, our relationship was real, the kind you read about- dream about. That pain lives to this day- I can never get them back.
"All the Crap" has certainly caused enough problems in my life and family!
But that said, no, I wouldn't want to forget it. A lot of times the Bad stuff helps you truly appreciate the Good and not take it for granted. And I am truly grateful for how far I have been able to come and all the blessings I have now.
Plus, if we couldn't remember dubdum then how would anyone be able to understand and try to help those still stuck in it?
We are our input.
Not having been a Dub would/has (difficult to deal with these tenses in this language) the effect of changing my personality - therefore I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't remember sitting at District Conventions bored out of my skull, or getting doors slammed in my face in FS, or being baptised, or finding JWD and this group of people.
Another reason I prefer this Universe is because here I would never be converted by a Witness coming to my door one morning, which is an infinitely good thing
Oh my goodness, yes!
There were times when I wished that I could be "normal" like everyone else. The only way I came close to trying to wipe it all away, was when I hit the edge of madness--but, then, that's not a fair trade-off, is it?
But guess what? Seems like we all have to travel the road to "where we are now". And being a JW taught me many good things. I learned to speak before crowds of people. I learned to know where all the scriptures were, and could speak with influence and authority. I learned how to effectively give a good witness to others. I learned confidence and poise....all for the wrong things, but I learned it all the same.
Now when I think back over all of it, I just try to pull out the things from my memory banks that made me happy, and let go of the rest. "The past can't be changed, but the future is whatever you make it." (Someone smart put that on a plague I have hanging on my wall.)
All my memories are not bad ones, but I just happened to be mixed up with a cult, and so, I lost "myself" in the process of being a good sister and ended up being the bad sister. I had to take responsibility for that, once I became an adult.
What I regret most are the ones I studied with and brought to baptism. I can't change any of that, but I have wondered what their lives are like now. One girl I remember well, though. She is, even now, a seasoned witness. Before "she got the truth", she had an affair with my first husband, and then wanted me to study the bible with her. Don't think so. (I think she probably got what she deserved. ~~smiling a bit here~~)
We all have to find our own way it seems. Our experiences shape us.
"The Truth Is Out There"
Karen/Sentinel
Perfection Seeker,
I agree with JanH who said,
We are the way we are because of our past, for bad and good. If I was not brought up a JW, i would be a totally different person, totally unrecognizable. Perhaps I would be more successful in some important way. Or perhaps I'd be a junkie. Who knows? I would not be without what I learned from the experience of breaking free.With that excellent comment in mind, you might enjoy this: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=22207&site=3
