Straw that broke the Camels Back (page 2)

Perfection Seeker

CC-RYDER- that is a VERY sad story about your wife & you. Just curious, had you contacted a lawyer- what would be your BIG BANG out? :-) Since I am not DA'ed or DF'ed- and now attending church- I wonder if they find out- what will happen-wouldn't mind suggestions :-) The more I read & post on here- the more bitter I get- so might want to go out with a big bang as well! :-)

SpiderMonkey- do you know how many times I wanted to say NO to starting a meeting with a prayer? EVERYTIME they come- they say that- and inside I always say NO- but never voiced it! A few months ago- I was over at my moms house- the elders were doing a shepherding call on my sister who lives in the same apartment complex as my mom. They saw my car- so came & stopped at my moms. They TRIED to witness to me- and share a few scriptures- I went about what I was doing- then they said- can we say a prayer with you? I looked at my mom- who knew I wasn't happy- she had her BEGGING eyes= PLEASE DONT STIR UP TROUBLE- so they started a prayer- and when they opened their eyes- after a long 3 hour prayer of preaching (could have been like 3 minutes- but you know how time stops) I was out the door. I went & drove away.

My mom has continued to talk to me- but the a couple of weeks ago- my brother- "OH, THE ELDER" stopped to see my mom- and said she was putting nails in my coffin- and told her what her conscience should allow- so she stopped talking to me for a few days- then started again-but is afraid my brother will find out. My god- this woman is 55- and is afraid of getting caught. What a crock. Too bad they can't see it.

Jim_TX

No 'straw that broke the camels' back' here... I just kinda drifted away.

Ummm... SpiderMonkey... you said...

"...call me on the phone w/in the next 5 minutes."

You realize of course, that since according to the JWs ' a day is as a thousand years', you need to wait about 28.8 years for that phone call... don't you? (ok ok ok - I'm joking.)

Regards,

Jim TX

Tinkerbell4125

Don't these stories make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside! =;o)

I do try to keep my sense of humor. =:o)

I'm C.C. Riders wife, *who posted earlier* for those that don't know that.

This story brings back some old wounds. The straw for me was.....getting a phone call from a elder in the cong. that insisted that I meet with them and by not meeting with them, it showed that I didn't want to be a witness. I wish so much that I had taped the conversation. I had been hit with a terrible blow from my father's suicide and finding out that my mother *whom I hadn't seen in 13 years* was dying of breast cancer. It's a long story and I wont impose all the details to you. Everything was just too much for me to take at the time. I was sef medicating myself TOO much and was very very depressed. So I admitted myself in the hospital. I wanted help, I needed help. This was 1999. After the elders caught wind of this, it was their duty to help me also!!! I told them that I was in no condition to deal with a *elder's meeting*. It was only a few months after being release from the hospital. I was fragil, not to be whining, but on top of all this, I was learning from the net that the org. was a cult, nothing more but a org. that controled by control. That itself was a blow for me, by itself! My whole life had been a waste of time, a lie, so many things finally fell into place, so many pieces of the puzzly was being put together in my head. For once in my life, my head and my troubled soul was recieving *food at the proper time*, so too speak! =;o) But I just wanted time to myself, to sort through all these feelings. I was in counceling also *which the elders resented*, I could get *worldly* help, but I couldn't recieve help from them. The following Thursday night meeting, it was announced that hubby and I had dis-associated ourselves. My mother passed away a few months later *with the feelings of disapointment and fear of not seeing me in the *new order*. Most of my j.w. family didn't even speak to me, and the j.w.'s that did speak, kept it brief. Since then we've moved almost 2 hours away from everyone we know. Hubby is closer to work and we are happier than ever. We've come a long way. We try to live a quiet life and mind our own business. I could write more, but I'll stop. =:o)

This has been my soft place to fall for so long. I dont know what I'd do if I didn't have such a safe place to come and heal.

Tink =;o)

SpiderMonkey

Seeker - so they started a prayer- and when they opened their eyes- after a long 3 hour prayer of preaching (could have been like 3 minutes- but you know how time stops) I was out the door. I went & drove away.

ROFLMAO, now *you* are *my* idol!!! That is hiLARious!

CC & Tinkerbell, I'm so sorry to hear about the crap that broke *your* camel's back... In particular, this rang a bell:

I was in counceling also *which the elders resented*, I could get *worldly* help, but I couldn't recieve help from them.

My father went through alcoholism & some serious drug abuse, to the point where he tried to kill himself once. The elders' advice was to NOT get involved with AA, but to pray more and study more

neyank

The straw that broke my camels back was finding
out about the history of the WTS.

The change in teachings over the years.
That definately was not something my book study
conductor got into. ( I wonder why.)

Finding out that people lost their lives due to WTS doctrine.
Only to have that doctrine changed after a few years.

The BIG straw was the change in the 1914 generation teaching.

The question I had to ask myself at that point was,
If the WTS was Gods chosen orginization, how
could they have possibly gotten that teaching wrong?

And then the decision.

Could I go out in service any longer teaching people
the ever changing doctrine of the WTS?

If I continued going out in service teaching people
the teachings of the WTS after learning how wrong they
have been about many, many things, would that not make me
just as guilty as the WTS for decieving people?

neyank

SYN

"Jerry, let me make this really easy on both of us. Last night I smoked marijuana [this was true! Rolling Stones concert, first time I ever smoked weed

Ah. AHA. AHAHAHAH. HHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!HAHAHAH!!!

Damn, I wish I'd had the nerve to say something like that to the Elders!

Tinkerbell4125

Spidermonkey, my mother would tell me that *if I'd stop missing meetings and get back to the kingdom hall, I wouldn't have any of these problems*. That I had these problems because I was missing meetings. She also had to throw in the same advice about accepting *worldly* help! She said that I could talk to doctors and worldly councelor's, why couldn't I talk to elders???????? The whole guilt dase control thing!

How is your dad doing now Spider? What is your relationship today?

Tink =;o)

My soft place to fall.

SpiderMonkey

(((((((Tinkerbell)))))))

"Oddly" enough, as soon as my dad was DF'd, quit attending meetings, and divorced my mom (who treated him like sh*t for years after his DFing), all his substance abuse problems went away. I'm ashamed to say that I'd shunned him myself for about a year before I got the hell out of there... Then, after *my* DFing, I got the most wonderful letter from him, saying that he was sorry for his mistakes of the past, and that he'd understand if I said no, but would I like to get together & be involved in each others' lives. *That* was a no-brainer; since then we have had a fabulous relationship, and he has since gotten re-married and even has 2 stepchildren (who are both AWESOME for "worldly" children, LOL). Everything came up roses as soon as we pulled out the weeds

Tinkerbell4125

Spider, that's great news! I'm very happy for you and your dad! That's one relationship that the borg. didn't totally destroy! Make good memories for yourself!

Tink =;o)

zenpunk

My final straw wasn't my terrible stint in Ireland. When I returned to the US the elders told me I really should quit my engineering job as I was doing way too much traveling. I got really pissed, blasted them verbally and walked out. I then did the fade pretty rapidly.

Straw that broke the Camels Back

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