bigboi,
Born a JW, I was quite the little zealot preacher and I had plans to get baptised and go serve at Bethel when I was eight years old. My parents had "moved to where the need was great" in 1967, and I felt myself to be a significant part of this, and considered my local elementary school as my personal territory, making a big deal out of every stand I would take to show that I was 'no part of this world'. I could not wait to be baptised, to be really included, and I made no secret of my feelings.
But by the time that I had reached an age where baptism was a real option, I already had my doubts. A school teacher, (may you be alive and well, John Tarn!) had picked apart my old-fashioned cut-and-paste science essay on evolution, which I had done straight from the old "Evolution book" by pointing out that I could not have read the papers and books that I had listed as references (also straight from the Evo book) and have arrived at my own conclusion. In compelling me to read some of those references, my first glimpse into the non-authoritative status of JW publications was set.
Around the same age, while studying to prepare for a #5 talk in the Ministry School, I came across the Apocrypha, and learned that the Bible canon that the JW's rely upon had in fact been finalised by a political agreement among men who belonged to what would later become the Catholic Church. It was too much for me to accept, both then and now, and I turned the assignment back to my Dad, the Ministry School Servant and PO.
But I continued to get older, and as the pressure to get baptised increased, so my involvement in a double life progressed. I made more and more clandestine worldly friends. I found more and more young JW friends who were also biding their time to get out. There were some great parties. Inevitably, some got busted or confessed, and I saw that those who were baptised got tougher punishment. Tougher on their family more than anything else.
I resisted baptism up to age 16. At that point things fell apart between my Dad and me. He insisted on authority over his household (or lose his appointments) and I made it easy on him and left to go out on my own.
Not ever having been baptised has benefits that continue to this day. My parents, having mellowed somewhat with age can make a theocratic distinction between me and my other 5 siblings who, having been baptised, may be be either in good standing, disfellowshiped, re-associating but not yet fully repentant and fit for contact, and on and on it goes.
My standing with my parents has waxed and waned depending on the most recent advice from Brooklyn regarding treatment of familial non-believers, advice found most often in QFR's in the WT. None of that matters to me, I love them anyway.
Eric
