How many here still pretend?

by TweetieBird 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Perfection Seeker
    Perfection Seeker

    Wow- this was written for me! I have been pretending my whole life! I haven't been to any meetings since December- except the memorial, and STILL get cargroups stopping every Saturday morning! My family is so embedded- I don't think if I tatooed CULT on my forehead they would get the hint! Sure, they are worried about me- but never really think I am apostate or doubting, they just think I am lazy & don't want to get up on Sunday mornings. If only they knew I've been going to church since December- happily- never missed one session, and its an hour earlier than the Kingdom Hall meeting! :-) Wouldn't it be cool to have TWO people from the same congregation leave together- have quite the show? My sister & I always joked about starting to yell at the hall- THIS IS A CROCK OF SH**- or doing SOMETHING to russle them up. But, knowing the group, they'd just say "that poor sister" or see, the bible is right- whatever! My only regret is that I didn't make a CLEAN break 12 years ago when I made a mental break- the wasted years- the sorrows, the pain- I could be totally healed by now!!

  • Xander
    Xander
    she feels better after the meeting starts though and she is at home

    WOW! Ain't that the truth.

    Everyone who 'faded out'...

    You remember when you first started losing interest? You tried working just a little late at work? Got just a little sick before meetings?

    Your S.O. (or your own consciences, maybe) would get all funny RIGHT UP until the exact minute on the clock when you knew you could not make the meeting anymore that night if you tried. And, DAMN, but you KNEW what that minute was TO THE FRIGGIN SECOND!

    Suddenly, the WAVE of relief - "*whew* I don't have to go *cough* can't make it tonight..."

    What fun....

  • eyegirl
    eyegirl

    i pretended for a long time. i think i realized even before i got baptized that this wasn't what i really wanted to do, but i felt so much pressure from my mom to 'strive for perfection.' i wasn't baptized until i was 18, but by then both my brother and sister had made their decisions not to pursue 'the truth.' all i ever heard from my mom was that i 'was the only hope' that her and my dad had of one of their children being faithful. along with her constant nagging that since i was 18 and old enough to drive, old enough to have a car, old enough to decide upon a career, i should be old enough to make the committment to get baptized. held out for a few years until i knew i could be financially independent--i still haven't asked my parents for money. i do rely on them for something though and my dad has been great. i moved about 100 miles away to a metropolitan area and just sort of faded away. however, i got 'busted' by a girl who was from my old congo and recently reinstated. i think that was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. i got to flat out tell my mother on the phone that i refused to be a hypocrite any longer. that was the best feeling ever. she still calls and gives me the rundown after the CA's and DC's, hoping i will 'turn around from my path to destruction.' i'm lucky though, my dad is a bit more sane and doesn't really push the issue. very glad to be free now.

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