by Sentinel 11 Replies latest watchtower bible
Karen, I can appreciate how you feel. Lately, I have not picked up the WT and Awake much at all. When I do read it, the stuff actually bothers me. My family hardly reads the stuff either.
Sometimes, I get the urge to get back to reading some, but it's difficult, because they always raised more questions in my mind than answers.
Also, my family seems more at peace when we are not discussing jw issues.
Hey Jack,
Thanks for the reply. I was just remembering how it was when I was still under obligation to "pick up" my supply of literature. When I was a dutiful little witness, I placed lots of literature. I enjoyed talking to people, and discussing issues. At least THEY didn't say my ideas were stupid or apostate. In some ways, it was the only way I could feel free to express myself. Yet, afterwards, I would sometimes feel so guilty for "thinking the JW's might be wrong". I was so torn in my emotions.
But, I would take care of my obligation, and then just go somewhere public, where there was a bench or table, and leave them all. Shortly, thereafter, I stopped my order of mags at the counter at the Hall. I wasn't going out in Service, and I didn't feel right taking the literature and leaving it anyplace where some innocent person might find it and go through what I went through.
You are correct also, in stating that serious, diligent study of the material, really thinking, makes even more questions come up. Questions that are regarded as apostate, simply because we can't make sense of the WT dogma and we are desperately searching for it to make sense. There were times when the scripture they used was totally taken out of context.
In so many ways, I am thankful that I didn't marry a JW. I think of how difficult it would be to try to be "myself" with my mate, and wonder at the same time if they would "turn me in" because I just couldn't be a JW anymore. But, if two people are really in tune with each other, they will understand and love their mate, and allow them to express themselves. They would not be in fear of the relationship. They would not allow the WTBTS to dissentegrate their marital union. My hats off to any couple going through this and surviving.
