having a dark night of the soul

by Miss Behaving 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • smiddy
    smiddy

    I`m glad you are feeling better Miss B , In J.W. la-la land if we were ever "down" it was because we weren`t doing enough , praying enough ,or we were hiding some sin they needed to get to the bottom of .LOL

    Having our ups and downs in life is all part and parcel of being human and neither emotion lasts forever , sooner or later we come back to reality.

    I`m happy you have a new purpose in life , a commendable one I might add , I hope you find success with it.

    Take care

    smiddy

  • disposable hero of hypocrisy
    disposable hero of hypocrisy
    Good for you matey, your glass suddenly became half full!
  • Alive!
    Alive!

    Look at you :-) Just take a look at dear you.

    Look at your courage and wonderful hope to make a difference.

    Your loss of family and friends is NOT your choice - it is theirs.

    Sadly, THEY endorse lies, cheating and emotional blackmail - probably without realising it?

    Keep true.

    In just a short while, my life had changed so much, so much from when I felt very broken.

    I love that proverb which may be from Persian culture:

    "this too will pass"

    It can be applied to every single second of our lives - the wonderfully exquisite, the good, bad and ugly.

    Be good ;-)

  • bradford
    bradford

    Missb,

    Clearly, you are not alone. Besides those who responded to you, think of those afraid to have the courage to write what you did and then read your post. You've helped someone on here, guaranteed.

    Since I've left the WTS I have been lucky enough to reconnect with friends from when I was younger, pick up a new hobby (disc golf, it's actually really fun and a good community of people). Unfortunately, my wife only has me since she was raised her entire life as a witness. She isn't even dfd but all friends and family have severed ties. The elders never checked on her and she hasn't been in 6 months to a meeting. The other night she just started crying uncontrollably and said she isn't doing well. She is having a hard time adjusting to life without her friends. All I could do was listen and cry with her. She takes it one day at a time and I try not to put any pressure on her. I did have her read your post and it turned into a positive conversation. I think it moved her to not let the WTS and the control they had affect her anymore. It got her mad. What I'm saying is that you helped my wife and I thank you. I hope you continue to do well yourself.

    Brad

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    Miss B,

    I assure you, everyone here has felt that pain, loss and distance from home. Those of us who left single, perhaps more so. I moved away to a new area, many a time I realised months, years had gone by and nobody from my life knew whether I was alive or dead, neither did they seem to care. Sometimes I hit hardship, the kind of things where there is no exit without friends and family.... Financial, emotional, personal hardships. But I had to fight on alone.

    I am a good 10+ years down the line now. I hope you give some pause and hear me out as to how I feel.

    Firstly, this is no accident, the WT organisation has designed itself so as to promise the earth (unrealistic) and threaten your life, by taking everyone from it (happens daily). This system is incredibly powerful, very simple and very sadistic. From preventing JWs having non JW friends, to love bombing members from their first visit or birth. The sad reality being, this is not how humans really work, this is not how life is. So the 'love' is very superficial and Kingdom Halls are full of vindictive, judgmental, oppressive groups, usually in the form of families, battling against each other, or competitive brothers and families chasing status.

    The speed at which you are dropped when you leave the JW's is infinitely louder than the silence that follows as they all slowly distance and cut you off. You simply can't disagree with 8 men in Brooklyn and maintain your friends and family.....now how wrong is that?

    Would you EVER want to support that system again?

    Miss B, you are obviously a decent person with emotions and feelings in tact, I guarantee, you would return only to feel lost and alone once more, yes amongst the people you miss, but they deep under a spell that you no longer are and forbidden to ever even hint at it.

    So what to do? They steal lives from people and via threat maintain order. It's a game we no longer play, we are free of them. We live short, fragile lives and already much has been stolen advertising a heartless, aggressive, unpleasant organisation, now it's time for you to live for you. Decide what you want in life, go get it. Decide what people you want around you in life, go meet them. Decide where you want to live in life and go move their,

    Don't stand still and........here is the bucket of water to the face..... Stop hoping it was all a bad dream, sadly Watchtower does exist, sadly we were raised amongst many families and friends who showered love bombing on us for decades sometimes, only to drop us the moment we saw through the ever changing doctrines and rules. Those people will not accept you back unless you subscribe to the madness once more, but if you do, know that you too are indeed contributing to it.

    Lastly, I 100% believe and have seen the power of reason, logic and importantly information. It is changing the world before us, it is certainly changing Watchtower and its members. I sincerely think we wil see a serious demise in WT in our life times.

    Think of those loved ones and friends leaving the Watchtower at age 50-60-70...... Lives spent advertising 8 window cleaners (with pinky rings) in New York. Think of all the older JW's you saw die as JW's lives wasted.....

    You got out!

    Dont waste another heartbeat on them..... Go live ! X




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