Support forum for those abused in WTS

by Lady Lee 29 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Over the last few weeks a lot of people have come forward and posted stories of abuse while they were JWs. These often were experiences as a child victim or a wife at the hands of an abusive husband. The forums are open to active JWs and those who have left. For many' disclosing their history was a first and I read a lot of support offered to them. Now that the tidal wave of disclosures are ebbing many may be wondering how to deal with the pain and anger they feel. For some who have been here for a while or have been in counseling support may not be a big issue. Many who have been here for a while have built a support network with the friends they have made here. But so many new ones have come in. Further discussion of their experiences may be scary especially on an open discussion forum. The support here is amazing but it isn't private. For those who do feel wary about posting but still could use some support I have set up a couple of discussion forums. The forums are closed. People wishing to participate in the forums need to contact me for a password to gain access to these forums. One forum addresses the needs of abused wives. The second forum addresses the needs of abused children. This would include sexual and physical abuse as well as emotional abuse There is a third forum for those who suffer from dissociative disorders as a result of being abused in the WTS. These forums are for mutual support and are not meant to substitute good professional counseling. Individuals may be members of one some or all of the forums depending on their needs and experiences. Please feel free to contact me at [email protected] for more information about how to get into these forums.

  • Simon
    Simon

    Let me know if you ever need any technical help with anything Lady Lee

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    Lady Lee what is dissociative disorders? Can you give me an example?

    Thanks, gb

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    From the Sidran Foundation

    http://www.sidran.org/didbr.html

    Dissociation is a mental process which produces a lack of connection in a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity. During the period of time when a person is dissociating, certain information is not associated with other information as it normally would be. For example, during a traumatic experience, a person may dissociate the memory of the place and circumstances of the trauma from his ongoing memory, resulting in a temporary mental escape from the fear and pain of the trauma and, in some cases, a memory gap surrounding the experience. Because this process can produce changes in memory, people who frequently dissociate often find their senses of personal history and identity are affected.

    Most clinicians believe that dissociation exists on a continuum of severity. This continuum reflects a wide range of experiences and/or symptoms. At one end are mild dissociative experiences common to most people, such as daydreaming, highway hypnosis, or "getting lost" in a book or movie, all of which involve "losing touch" with conscious awareness of one's immediate surroundings. At the other extreme is complex, chronic dissociation, such as in cases of Dissociative Identity Disorder (MPD) and other Dissociative Disorders, which may result in serious impairment or inability to function. Some people with DID(MPD)/DD can hold highly responsible jobs, contributing to society in a variety of professions, the arts, and public service. To co-workers, neighbors, and others with whom they interact daily, they apparently function normally.

    Normal dissociative experiences include "highway hypnosis" (not needing to think when you drive yourself home) and "daydreaming". Most people have heard stories of car accidents where the person did not recall the few moments before during or after the accident even when there has been no head injury. These kinds of experiences are normal and in fact healthy. Daydreaming for example gives us an opportunity to think about more important things than the talk being given in the KH. Anyone here relate to that one?

    During trauma a person protects themselves by going deeper into the dissociation. The greater and more frequent the trauma the more ingrained the phenomenon is. When my father was abusing me I would think of playing outside with the kids that I could hear outside the window. Some kids dossociate and see themselves looking down on the trauma as if they are on the ceiling. In very severe cases of abuse the child splits from the self. One child is on the bed but the mind-self is elsewhere. If there is a lot of pain for example one part will hold the memory of the pain. Another part of the self might remember the details of what happened. And a third part might only remember being outside playing with other kids. This is one way Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder-DID/MPD) can start.

    We can safely say based on the research that dissociation is a continuum. At one end is the normal experiences of daydreaming and highway hypnosis. On the other end is DID/MPD. And there is a range of dissociative experiences in the middle.

  • terafera
    terafera

    Lady Lee, I think that is a great thing you are offering...I am sure many suffer from it (probably me, in many areas). It's hard to know whats normal and whats not when you live the Society.

    I'm very interested in it....I am sure it will bring relief and common ground for many here.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Thank you Simon I am using free web space to host the forums so the techie work is done for me but if I have admin difficulties I might be in touch

    They forums are closed from public scrutiny to hopefully provide a safe place where people can communicate. The three forums are hosted on the same website but have different addresses

    Tera email me and let me know which forum or forums you are interested in.

  • waiting
    waiting

    "Most people have heard stories of car accidents where the person did not recall the few moments before during or after the accident even when there has been no head injury. These kinds of experiences are normal and in fact healthy"

    That's what I told those damned Allstate Insurance people!!!!!!!! A woman saw her sister down in a motorcycle accident that I had just passed - well I was in the way between her and her sister - and she didn't see me - so she just barrelled forth ramming my car out of the way (we were both going about 50 mph.)

    And those assholes are saying it's 80/20 (20 my fault) because I was stupid enough to say "I didn't see her." Of course, I was on pain medication the day after when the adjuster called me......and it didn't occur to me that I didn't remember ANYTHING a short time period before or after the accident.

    Btw, my Mercedes is totalled, her truck is totalled, we both walked away, and her sister is recouperating. I've turned it over to Auto Owners (my insurance people) and they said they're going to "sue the bastards." Of course, I'll be out the $500 deductible - but it won't show that I was 20% responsible for being in my own lane when I was rammed by a truck coming at me.

    And the lawyer I had was totally incompetent!

    Well,...........I'm through venting - but at least by taking a psychology class - I knew what had happened to me........after I came off pain medication *sigh* "day late and dollar short.

    waiting

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    (((waiting))) Too few people understand how the mind can protect us.Sometimes the meds can interfere with the memory but repression really does a nice job of taking care of us

  • TheContagion
    TheContagion

    I just wanna add that dissociation is an important part of your everyday experience. Being dissociated all the time is no worse than being associated all the time.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Exactly Contagion - some dissociation is normal and healthy - imagine what basket cases we would be if we never spaced out at a meeting - hated it when they got rid of the windows

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