I loooove how it's also the woman's "responsibility for creating devoted dads". According to this scapegoater, the woman needs to "actively encourage father involvement", cuz uh, yeah, that's exactly what men want....someone nagging them about how to fulfill their role. So, I guess this means that if the Dad isn't devoted, the fault naturally defers to the woman. Who the f*ck writes this sh*t?
I wasn't getting that the writer was saying it was mom's responsibility to create a father at all. I found the writer to be speaking to a woman's tendency to naturally be the gatekeeper, implying that many mothers try to buffer their children from the father instead of inciting trust and confidence in his parenting ability, not to mention the invisible import and effect he carries on his children.
In my first marriage, my wife made it very clear through action and attitude that it was my job to make money and punish the kids when she was pissed off at them. I was the terrible threat looming over the children's heads should they mess up. I wasn't permitted to be any kind of a nurturer, and I believe that many mothers practice this attitude to some degree. I think the article was letting dads like me know that no matter what a controlling mother says, thinks or does, we are needed and contribute more than we ever suspected. It was also letting mother know that she isn't the end-all beat-all and the one thing her kids need more than anything, and she should let go a bit and trust the natural role of a dad and its importance.
