Surviving the Hearing to DF Me.

by Sentinel 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    blondie:

    Where in the Elders Book or the BOE letters does it instruct to ask such specific questions? I am wondering how this little policy got started.

    In the Pay Attention to Yourselves and All the Flock book, there is NO written rule or policy dictating that an elder or elders should ask such specific sexual questions.

    Elders do this under the pretense of "finding out all that took place so as to read the heart and see if the individual is repentant"

    This is pure bullshit, but unfortunately many JW's believe it.

    The reality is that many of these elders are perverted old man who have the perceived authority and duty within their congregations to be able to interrogate people in such a manner, and oftentimes they get their rocks off in doing so.

    Hope this helps.

    Edited by - Reborn2002 on 14 June 2002 13:22:48

  • blondie
    blondie

    I tell you what Reborn, I wouldn't answer them. And then I would appeal it. And then I would write to New York. But first I would record it and go to the police and charge them with sexual harassment. Believe me, I could do it.

    So if you are reading out there, sisters and brothers, don't answer those awful questions. Instead, say "Why are you asking how many times we did it? Why are you asking if I enjoyed it? Why are you asking what body parts we touched?" Make them explain it. I'm sure they will squirm in their seats and and stop it. I doubt if all 3 elders are perverted. Usually, there is one pervert and 2 cowards.

    "Would you ask Brother So-and-So's daughter that question? (Brother So-and-So is one of the other elders on the JC) "Would you ask his wife that question?" "More importantly, would Jesus Christ ask me that question?"

  • Sentinel
    Sentinel

    .....and here's just another tid-bit of info about the Elder in charge, the Cong Overseer...

    While he and his buddies were tearing me apart, emotionally and spiritually at my "inquest", this older married brother was already engaged in an affair with a young married sister in our congr., two years older than me.

    They didn't find this out about him until years later, when she had a breakdown and after two children, finally came forward with the information. He knew what was going to happen, so he quickly moved totally out of the area to avoid the shame and humiliation. His daughter and I were best friends for years.

    Believe it or not, the tendency among his friends was to place the blame on the young girl!

    The irony of all of this, is that I was df'd, but after about a year on the "outside", and still feeling lost and doomed to die, I groveled my way back in. They made me grovel for another whole year, and I had to come to meetings, sit in the back and not look at anyone in the face, or make eye contact.

    It was the very same group of Elders who "decided" that I could be reinstated. This same brother was still in command. It makes me sick, the way he treated me, when he was doing so much worse. And, the fact that he had so much power makes my head spin.

    When they announced that I had been reinstated, the entire congregation cheered! They hated to HAVE to not speak to me or look at me, especially since I had married and was bringing my very young son. It went against everything natural, this severe rejection and abandonment-the groveling to get back. But, I fell for it.

    I think this is why so many end up being df'd twice, or just walking away the second time, like me. Once you really allow yourself to step back and look at the whole process, it is way too severe for just being a human being and doing human things. I mean, we learn from our mistakes. We grow spiritually like we grow physically, little by little. They say they don't expect perfection, but they do!! You can't relax. You can't be yourself. Heck, you don't even KNOW yourself. You are always trying so hard, and yet failing all the time. Never enough, never enough. And, always, big brother was watching you....

    The Elders are given their power by the org. These are people who probably never had too much control or power over anything. The power and control gets out of hand easily. Even though I have my own opinions about certain individuals, it is the org that is really to blame.

    It's the org that makes the borg...

    Karen/Sentinel

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    Being a guy, i never was aware of what a misogynist organization I was in.

    I had a similar experience about a year ago. I got involved with a girl at work, and the inevitable happened. My conscience was stricken, I immediately went to the elders.

    They didn't ask any intimate questions at all. A guy confessing his sexual escapade probably wasn't exciting to them.

    Your story makes me ill. How I have come to hate the WT. "By their fruits, you will know them..."

    I bet they all went home and masturbated after your JC, or had the extremely rare - good sex - with their wives.

    Fucking morons, they're as bad as the Taliban.

  • animal
    animal

    I walked out on the meeting they tried to have with me.... I was 16, just got outta jail.... they were warning me to NOT associate with the other youths. I laffed and walked.

    Animal

  • TheContagion
    TheContagion

    Is there any legal action that can be taken? These perverted little rats should be strung up..........<takes a deep breath>......or, we can just sue the fu*#ers into the ground.

  • JT
    JT

    Karen/Sentinel

    When i read your exp i fully know what you are talking about, for i was one of those elders being Groomed and trained to ask those exact questions,

    it is so sad to think that this concept called ELDERS has free rein to deal with women in such a manner

    --when in fact you would have been no better off than if the guys at the local bowling alley were asking the questions

    this is why this religion is so dangerous it put guys who spend alot of hours selling useless books in charge of folks lives

    almost every single person feels that they must be HONEST WITH THE ELDERS

    the wt has successfully raised the level of respect for elders to the level of MOSES

    when in fact as i often say they are no more than the guys who hand out CHEESE CRACKERS at Walmart on sat PM

    well the post i did awhile back seems to sum up your exp as well

    we call it PANTIES OR THONGS

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=4114&site=3#51583

    PANITES OR THONGS

    I thought the name of this thread was so on time for this thread demostrates one of the sad things about claiming to speak for god, when one actually does not.

    when i was a newly appointed elder at the tender age of 27

    i was introduced to the world of the JUDICAL COMMITTEE.

    It was in fact my first case. i had gotten a call from the PO before the meeting stating that their would be an elders meetings to discuss some judical matters. i sat thru the meeting thinking and wondering

    what type of case would it be and would i be selected to serve on it since i was a new elder or would i be told next you can serve.

    right after the prayer we quickly entered the 2nd school. and there we sat, the po annouced that he had been approached by a single sister who stated she had sexual relationship with a man on her job and this would require the formation of a judical committe.

    i recall so well that one bro almost jumped out of his seat to volunteer stating that since she was in his bookstudy he felt that he would be in a good position to serve.

    the po stated he would be out of town so he could not do it this weekend and it needed to be handle quickly cause it was publicly known on her job

    - the guy got the sister stuff and-went bragging about bagging a JW-

    so another bro was recommended and then the po said let James serve it will be good exp. we got 2 exp elders already.

    so the time was arranged for sat at 2pm at the hall to meet with her but we would meet at 1:30pm to review the flockbook

    well i was up late friday night reviewing the flockbook on how i could be a loving shepard for this dear sister who had been swallowed up by this worldly man - a tool of satan_

    then the time came she walked into the room and i had known her for a number of years and my wife and her were good friends so the embarrassment on her face was so telling

    after a prayer the chairman explained a few ground rules no tape recorders , etc

    then she was asked to tell us what happened

    when she finished --the woman was shaking and eyes just full of water

    then the questioning began

    at first the question were basic one that i thought sounded reasonable, but in just a few min i realized why the bookstudy conductor wanted to serve on her case

    i found out later that he was interested in her yrs ago, but she wasn't

    he married and his wife was one of those big black sisters who was good in field service , but not much to really look at

    while this sister kinda put in mind of a Venessa Williams type to put in plainly she was a nice looking sister i won't lie

    but the questions took a wild left hand turn, he started and the other bro would followup it was like machine gun questions

    Who was on top
    Did he Climax
    was there oral or any anal

    and on an on it went
    and yes the famous question:

    "Were you wearing Panites or Thongs?"

    i could see that she was starting to lose it and she just brokedown into tears- so she was excused to go to the bathroom

    while she was out it was explained to me as a new elder that such questions were NEEDED to see if she was consistent in her story and the details- to see if she was truly repentant or was it a practice

    he explained to me that a "Practice" could be considered if the person had sexually intercourse more than once during the night while in the bed with the person- that it was not needed for it to be separate days, but more than once in the same night and it "could be" considered that the person had made it into a "Pratice"

    the TECHNICAL DETAILS that wt gives it's elders are unreal

    such as the difference between

    1. MOMENTARYLY TOUCHING A SISTER'S BREAST

    2. CARRESSING IT-

    oUR WT elders school spent about 25 min in our class explaining the difference between the two and each has it's own
    punishment

    i was told that the Panty-Thong question would reveal

    "INTENT" "Scheming" "planning" etc on the part of the sister

    you see as it was explained to me if she was wearing Bloomers or reg panties then if a claim was made that we got carried away in the heat of the moment then it would be possible

    but if she was wearing "Thongs" then she went to his house with the intent of Giving him Some

    now this is how i was beening groomed and instructed, being a new elder who had never served on any case i didn't know

    these guys were exp elders with yrs of judical cases under thier belt-
    beside these were all Former bethelites like myself so of course the boys from THE HOUSE knew how the judicial meeting was to be handle

    well she came back into the room and sat down and the questions started again in a few min and at this point she refused to answer anymore questions LIKE THAT and she told us she would not answer THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONs

    "Girl Friend" picked up her bag and walked out

    in 5 min we decided that she was "UNREPENTANT" AND DFED HER

    I SWEAR TO GOD i only wish i could find her and tell her how sorry i was for allowing her to literally be ganged raped by those guys

    this system of the WT of having men called Elders with no training FREELY be able to ask any Damn quesiton they want to and the persons is obligated to answer or else be viewed as not working with Jehovah's Organization is a Damn Joke

    I often wonder whatever became of that sister- she attended only about 2or 3 meetings after the annoucement and disappared into thin air

    If you are reading this post and you know who you are

    for i'm in the Washington DC area of the country

    I beg you to please accept my apology for supporting such a cruel and evil system

    James

  • Sentinel
    Sentinel

    James,

    Thank you so much for your post. I read the whole thing through to the end, and just felt so bad for you, that you innocently got caught up in the web of JW power and control--especially over the sisters.

    Nothing you wrote surprised me in the least, for this is exactly how it was and probably still is.

    We can do nothing to change the past. But, we can try to do our part to help now. This Forum seems a good place to me.

    I feel badly for having brought several people/families to the point of baptism. I thought I was doing the right thing. We all have done things in the past that we wish we could change, but that's the way life is.

    The future, however, is whatever we can make it. And we can make it better! No one blames you because you were following JW creed. You were borg. You were sincere. I forgive you, James.

    Karen/Sentinel

  • scootergirl
    scootergirl

    Thank God I never went to my JC........thank God.

  • sOOner
    sOOner

    Ahha,my true sister.It's me sOOner.I have truly been searching for you here.It is late~I just want to say I am so glad that these past few years we have found our hearts.I have been missing you most of my life.We are now truly and most assuredly on the right path to the TRUTH and it is not a dead-end

    I don't know if you know my experience.That just amazes me and WE are true blood sisters seperated for so long because of this BORG ORG.

    The first time was for fornication.It scared me so bad.I informed Mama and she turned me in.The brothers in there little group or circle literally placeed WT and Awake magazines in my view that ssreamed out the evils of sexual conduct outside the realm of marriage.I more or less shrugged my shoulders,walked outside the KH and lit a cigarette.I remember thinking"Free at Last...finally Free at last"

    This feeling was replaced as you mentioned when I did marry and have my one and only daughter.Her blood was on me.I was responsible for her life,her little soul.I dilgently went about being reinstated in the org.

    But,the "World" got to me.I began using drugs and having wild sex parties.My ex- husband who lured me into these activities was not disfellowshipped,he was not baptized.I on the other hand was visited by the brothers.They were given a confession letter by my ex because he suddenly feared dying at armageddon.They said a meeting would be arranged.The time of the meeting came.It was over in a very short time.I again was disfellowshipped,this time for adultry.

    I never returned.

    Our mama says we are in the dead-zone~that the truth is hidden from us.

    She says we will all be so SHOCKED...the time is upon us...AGAIN????

    I believe THEY will be the ONES that will be shocked.

    Mama has no mind of her own.She believes everything the society says...she is a puppet.It is her life.

    I tell her seek and you shall find.

    She says she has all she will ever need.

    I respect her feelings.

    Blessed be that we awakened~

    AMEN

    (Ascend~

    Multidimensional~

    Evolve~

    Naturally~

    see profile for sOOner

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