what's the silliest.... (page 2)

dustrabbit

Reborn: the thing about resurrected wives and husbands, I've heard that one several times growing up, even from my parents...it always weirded me out...I remember thinkin' sex was going to be limited to a select few if the JWs by a fat chance were right about the New Kingdom.
Like, wouldn't they (the resurrected ones) have some memory of sex with their old partners? Hellooooo.sexual jealousy!...or did god give them selective amnesia...or, was it going to be something like being spayed and nuetered?
And what about virgins? what a rip off! having to be chaste and all that..then you find yourself resurrected in the new kingdom and god tells you, "sorry, no nookie for you!"
the dustrabbit

Dutchie

An elder held up a green bible and said that if the society tells me this bible is blue, then I'll believe its blue! He was five bottles short of a six pack if you ask me.

neyank

I was talking to a ms one day and I made a comment about something that was going on in one of the third world countries, and this brother proudly exclaimed how the FDS is always keeping us abrest of what's going on in the world.

Well I didn't tell him but, I learned of this information from reading a magazine produced by another religion.

I didn't have the nerve to tell him this.
He was glowing with pride thinking the WTS has all information on everything you can possibly want to know.

I just laughed to myself.

neyank

gsx1138

I can't believe you people can't figure out what Satan would do with a set of scissors. He's the all powerful, literal incarnation of evil. He would obviously RUN WITH THEM. Not only that he would hold the pointy end outward instead of inward.

There are sooo many stupid things I've heard it is hard to single one out. How about stupid JW jokes like, "Why do all of Jehovah's people need umbrella's? For the thousand year reign." insert stupid laughter here.

Man I'm drawing a blank on the stupid comment thing. I've got like thousands of them swimming around but none are coming to the surface. I was told not to go to College because the world wouldn't last past 1995.

Edited by - gsx1138 on 10 June 2002 13:30:59

meat pie

This was supposed to be from a CO; Why do we keep going back to call on people who don't want to hear our message?Because every time we 'shake the dust from our feet' it leaves an ever increasing pile of dust at their gate for the angels to see. This was a few weeks before I finally threw in the towel!

Dutchie

Hey, gsx: Where is baseball mentioned in the Bible? Genesis 1:1 says In the big inning.

What was the name of Paul's horse? Isme. You know, in the Bible Paul says, "whoa! Isme." (woe is me)

Okay, okay, I'll stop.

bonovox

as for jokes, the standard: "What kind of cars did they drive back in Paul's day? Hondas..."and they rushed upon him with one Accord..."....lol

Straight up, if I recounted the number of crazy misprounouced words and poorly strung together phrases, I'd be here all day...talk about the uneducated tryin to sound smart!! LOL

One of the silliest things Ive ever heard my mom say is that in the paradise, our memories will be blanked out so we dont remember the bad things about this old world and how it went down etc....however her excuse why she doesnt want anything to do with my wife and kids (at least, I mean, theyve never been JWs!) is that she doesnt want the pangs of memories of her grandkids who will ostensibly die in the great tribulation to haunt her forever...UM EARTH TO MOM?? ARE YOU THERE??? Given your original understanding of the paradise, you should be able to spend every last minute of 'these last days' with your grandkids happy in the knowledge that if they do get roasted at armagedddon, you'll soon forget you even ever had grandkids you dolt! So whaddya got to lose??? Never got an answer on that one...

Bendrr

During a book study, this older brother looked at a picture in the book (forgot which one) of one of the apollo spacecraft going to the moon and asked "How'd they get to the moon without hitting any stars?".

Mike.

eyegirl

my mom said the end would come before she ever sent me to kindergarten.

gsx1138

Ahhhh!! Dutchie and Bono stop it I think my head is going to explode.

Are you serious Bendrr? My problem is I was there but alseep with my eyes open. I remember a repeated talk about how as armageddon is going down people won't be able to kill us, thus bullets will stop in the air before they reach us (maybe this was a premonition of the Matrix).

what's the silliest....

Share this