non-jw family might hire jw nanny--r we crazy?

by fred 29 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Reborn2002

  Path:
  

  I don't think you have anything to worry about. Not all JWs are exactly dying to convert you.
  Your biggest concern is the time off needed for religious meetings and if you're cool with that, she probably will make a great nanny. Personally, even with my present views about the religion, I'd still consider and possibly prefer a JW to others for the position you are seeking to fill.

  An EXTREMELY reasonable statement.

  While I despise JW's for their doctrine and the effects their beliefs have on families and children, I will say that there are definitely some honest, well-intended, hard-working people within the religion.

  She may make a wonderful nanny.

  ChiChi:
  

  There is no way that I would allow one of Jehovah's Witnesses be a nanny for my children.I was raised as a JW and was one for 35 years.I know what I am talking about here.
  A Nanny usually gets very close to the children.It's like adding another family member.
  Yes,they may agree to respect your beliefs and may even promise not to preach to your children but they can't help themselves.

  Your children will not get the special attention they deserve on their birthdays or any of the other holidays.
  The children will be preached to every time the Nanny explains why her "Bible trained" conscience won't allow her to support your family with these celebrations.
  The Nanny will cross boundries no matter what she promises in the begining.
  On top of everything else she will not be healthy for your children's self esteem

  I must respectfully disagree.

  Seems you are generalizing and have already predetermined that someone else you have never met will do. You are being just as judgmental and prejudice as they are to automatically assume and stereotype every JW based off your own experience or belief.

  I for one am NOT a JW-supporter. I think anyone who has read my posts on this board knows that. However, in my lifetime I have encountered some older JW's who were extremely loving, sincere, kind-hearted people who were absolutely wonderful with children.

  Your comments are no different than saying someone who just because he/she is a Catholic nanny would spend all of his/her time trying to convert the client's children to Catholicism. Or that all Muslim nannies spend their time indoctrinating children with the notion that many here in America are Zionist infidels who will perish by Allah's sword.

  Be reasonable.
• 

  Mimilly

  Fred - you answered your own question.

  If you have 'concerns' then you shouldn't be considering this person to look after your children at all. You want to be able to reasonably relax and trust whomever you choose to watch the safety and well being of your children without wondering 'if'.

  Mimilly
• 

  ChiChiMama

  Reborn,

  I am sorry that you disagree with my opinion and find my words to be generalizing too much.
  I don't mind if you don't agree and your difference in oppinion just helps to balance out the whole thing.

  You may be right about the generalizing thing.
  If this person is not a strong JW then some of the things I mention might not be a worry.But some Jws swing back and forth from being weak or strong JWs so you never know when you need to worry.

  Catholics are not known as an evangelical religion and neither are Muslims.
  Jws are taught to preach and try to save lives.They are also taught that if they don't use every chance available to preach the "Good News" they could be found bloodguilty and loose their own everlasting life.I believe there is reason to worry about this.

  If a JW was my chils Nanny, my son would come home one day from a Karate tournament with medals he won.
  The JW would not be excited and encouraging,They believe martial arts are demonic.Will the JW keep their feelings to their self?

  If my child is excited about Halloween he won't get positive input about his costume or any thing to do with it.Will that JW tell them Halloween is Spiritistic or evil?

  When it is my childs birthday they will get no special treatment,card,gift, or even two little words, Happy Birthday.

  My child may want to know why the Nanny is so different and the child will naturally ask.Conversations that I do not want would then happen.

  The examples could go on and on.
  This is not the kind of environment I want my children around. These people need to know these things so they can decide if it is what they want for theirs.

  ChiChi
  
• 

  Lady Lee

  Oh my gawd - does this ever trigger stuff for me

  I know of a couple who has hired my mother of all people to babysit their kids when they go out of town.

  She looks good on the outside but I can't think of another person I would want to have look after my kids less than my mother.

  Everybody thinks she is wonderful - dresses nicely - speaks well but she hates children.

  She told me that she does talk to the kids that she cares for about her beliefs. She will not celebrate holidays with them. She does not take them to meetings but she gives them books - WT books.

  My mother abused every one of her kids. severely abused. I got my last beating from her when I was 17 - right before she got me out of the house. When I was 12 she put me into foster care. When my first brother was 13 she gave him to our abuser father. When the next 2 boys were 15 she threw them both out of the house. When my sister was 14 she threw her out.

  She called us names and beat the crap out of every one of us and used the Bible to justify it. Not one of us have a good relationship with her. 3 of us never or rarely speak to her.

  Fortunately not all JWs are as bad as her. But all JWs are taught to to use the "rod of discipline" meaning they will hit. Will they hit your child? Do you want to test that out?

  My daughter, who remembers how nasty her grandmother was to her, has never allowed her daughter to be alone with my mother. Smart woman - my girl. And neither daughter want anything to do with their grandmother.

  No (((HUGS))) required

  A not-so-silent lamb
  
  Aspire to inspire before you expire
• 

  Stephanus

  I don't think the advice that you can always dismiss her if she steps across the line is very useful. Here in Oz we have unfair dismissal rules where the onus is on the employer to show that the employee was deserving of being sacked, and the remedies against the employer can be quite severe. I imagine such things exist in other countries. I can just envision the aftermath of her sacking because she overstepped the boundary: she brings an anti-discrimination suit on the grounds that she was sacked for being a JW - and she'd be EXACTLY right. Mimilly's right - you already have doubts, and in light of my concerns about employment law, I think prevention is waaaaaaay ahead of cure in this case!
• 

  mpatrick

  I worked as a nanny for over five years, all the while I was an active JW. I treated my job as a caregiver the same as I would treat any job. I respected the wishes of the parents and never once tried to push my religious beliefs on the families.

  I think this JW would make as good of a nanny as any Catholic, Baptist or anyone of any other religious denomination, if not a better one. Good caregivers are hard to come by! I was with one family for over three years and I loved them and they loved me. I don't think you have anything to worry about in regards to her religious background, just keep in mind that JWs are just as imperfect as the next person. With this in mind, make sure you do a background check just as you would do with anyone. I have heard some horror stories from my past employeer about nannies she had working for her and none of them were JWs. I think your concerns should be about her as a person, not her religious background.

  Wow, this thread reminds of when the movie "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle"! Everyone was all of sudden in a frenzy about hiring a nanny because of a movie that was more about a pyscho out for revenge than it was ever about a nanny.
• 

  ChiChiMama

  I have been thinking about this thread today and realize that this is an emotional issue for me.
  My JW family on both sides have agreed to respect our wishes but they don't. We cannot allow our children to be alone with them as a result.Our former JW friends are the same way.They have all written us off as wicked but they think they should try to save our children.
  I have fought too hard and lost too much to risk having JWs as caretakers for my children.
  I have to wonder if the ones who seem to think having a JW nanny would be okay have small impressionable children of their own?
  I do agree with Michele that no matter who you hire you should do a background check first.

  I wish you the best no matter what you decide.

  ChiChi
  
• 

  garybuss

  ,

  Only JW I'd allow around my kids would have to be stuffed and mounted.
  
  
  ,
• 

  Sentinel

  First of all, I believe she is probably very dependable and honest. She would no doubt love your children as her own. This is where I would be concerned, as she is a borg, and is trained to implant thoughts into anyone human, no matter how young.
  Young children do not always know how to handle the "differences" in everyday life that her prescence would bring. As we know, children are very impressionable, and perceptions are created early on.
  All I have to do is to look back into my childhood to see how I was influenced in oh so suble ways. Now I realize what a profound affect they had on me while I was growing up.
  Just be cautious. There are no guarantees with anything in this life.
• 

  plmkrzy

  Your probably just going to have to trust your gutt feelings on this one.
  I know some JWs that I would never allow to care for my kid's (if they were still little kids) and I know some that I would trust more then anyone else.

  You need to have a specific set of rules of do's and do NOT's and go over them with whom ever you are considering.

  ..................It's the silence between the notes, that make the music......

  http://ourworld.cs.com/Pwmkwzy/PlumCrazysHouseOfNuts.html . http://www.hamcdc.com/sponsor.html