Watching my parents age and die.....

by LDH 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • orangefatcat
    orangefatcat

    Dear Lisa, I am sorry your visit with your folks turned bad, Its not nice when parents are hard hearted and believe that the WTS is the only right thing in their life. They see nothing but black or white. Its like looking at the forest, but they can't see the trees. Your parents remind me of how my parents are, well my dad is dead, he died loyal true and blue to the WBS he was presiding overseer, he wasn't as bad as my mom. She is some hard nosed stuck up who sees nothing other than the way the Society sees things or says what they want you to think. She is 66, is a grouch and unkind she snaps at everyone. she has a bladder disease and she lets everyone know it. Its like listening to a broken record. Oh my mom has her good points, she has devoted her life to the borg. and has destroyed her physcial health and for what? She like most believed the new system would have been here by now, just like my deceased grandparents believed that. And still no new system. All my family has nothing to do with me at all (and frankly I am glad as they are all really fanatical like my mother any way),it has been over 2 years and a half now. I know my family they will never talk to me again, because I am the sinner. I disgraced our family name and brought repoarch on Jehovah and the congreagations. Well Lisa, honey some parents are so hard and cruel they just can't seem to help themselves. I feel your hurt and I hope you can feel my hugs and kisses to you. Keep well. We are better than them and never forget it.
    Orangefatcat.

  • Jankyn
    Jankyn

    Struck a nerve here, too. I recently attended the funeral for my aunt, who was the first one in my family to become a JW back in the late forties. She'd been disfellowshipped in 1979 (never bounced back from the '75 fiasco).

    One of the things that struck me (among many--dealing with a JW family carries all kinds of nasty little awakenings) was the fact that all of them (my parents' generation) are getting old. These are the ones who were promised that they'd never grow old and sick, never die. So now they're facing declining health with no resources.

    One aunt is nursing her stroke-debilitated husband strictly on what social services can provide--they never saved for the future and often changed jobs so they could "go where the need was greater." After all those years of pioneering and service, where are their pensions? Where is the support from the congregation? My mother is angry because people in the congregation don't even visit to encourage them.

    Of the twelve cousins in my generation, ONE is still a witness--and of her two kids, ONE is still a witness. This crap can't end fast enough for me.

    In the meantime, I have to find a way to help my parents, who are facing illness with no resources. And this on top of our roller-coaster relationship--if they've been to an assembly, or, Heaven forbid, had a recent WT article on homosexuality, I'm not good enough to talk to...

    It gets to me. It's just so frustrating. On those occasions when the WT mask slips for just a moment and my parents will just be people, I remember why I love them so much. Then their "Christian personality" comes back, and I almost wish I was an orphan.

    My heart goes out to you, Lisa.

    Jankyn

  • Flip
    Flip

    My second response to your story Leese’ is, it’s as if your parents are reacting to a gambling or alcohol addiction.

    Your parents dysfunctional and self-absorbed behavior is not of your making and not necessarily yours to fix.

    Perhaps educating others to recognize the symptoms of your parents ‘addiction’ and ultimately its cause is the best that can be expected. The worst thing you could do is ‘sweep all this under the rug’, my guess is you're not that kind of individual. :)

    My first response is reflected in the thoughts of erstwhile expressions.

    Flip

  • singsongboi
    singsongboi

    i'll add my voice (fingers) to consolation 4 u 2 lisa....

    it is sad, but cheeeee!! some families fight all the time anyway..

    my ex-wifes parents must have been the most zealous in all oz.. (LOL)..

    when we visited them the conversation was always on a "high theocratic plane", until somehow the shit hit the fan, and there would be a blazing row...

    don't know how many times we had to terminate a visit because of a family row......****

    aaah! Yeah! things are different in dub city!!!!

    ps my former mother-in-law (gwennie james) just died... cancer...

    felt kinda sad for her.... they got the "truth" a year or so b4 me.. went to the old sydney central at first....

    everything centred around their future in the N.O . now their is no future for gwennie..

    Oh! sorri forgot the resurrection.... yeah ....!!!!!!
    ___________________

    **** gotta share this one -- we were visting them in canberra one winter , the day temp was about 5 degree.... second daughter tania was about 18 months old, still in nappy..

    we are sitting inside by the heater in their crappy "pioneer" accomodation. gwennie takes tannie for a walk outside. then we here this tremendous scream from tannie..

    we all raced outside to find that tannie had dirtied her nappy so gwennie had hosed her down with cold (almost freezing) water.....

    my ex-wifes protests, led to a lecture about spoiling children (a perennial theme)... the usual blazing row, and another terminated visit to da folks....

    so cheer up darling lisa --- it coulda been worse.....!!!

  • metatron
    metatron

    There is a part of me that wishes I could get a gun and
    finish off these spiritual predators, however, I realize this
    is a moral struggle very much like the Civil Rights movement.

    Martin Luther King was incredibly insightful in seeing the way
    to freedom as a nonviolent moral struggle. It takes a huge amount
    of patience - and faith! - to see that people will eventually
    change by asking "why are we treating these folks this way?".

    The Watchtower is now creating martyrs - something they've
    always avoided and hated - and they can't stop the internet.

    Always stand above the petty hatreds of Witness thinking.
    Always be a positive example of love, kindness, and common sense.

    I know it's tough for all of us - but the more we do it
    the more we defeat the ugliness of spirit that years of
    Watchtower indoctrination has spawned.

    metatron

  • hooberus
    hooberus

    The Watchtower also promises your parents a "resurrection" from the dead. But according to Watchtower teachings and doctrine their body NEVER will rise from the dead, but will ROTT in the GRAVE forever. Many JWs don't realize that the Watchtower teaching of the earthly resurrection is that the original body ROTTS in the GRAVE forever and that Jehovah simply makes a clone, copy, ect. from scratch, a being which has NEVER lived to take the faithful witnesses place! The Bible teaches different (Isaiah 26:19; John 5). It may work to tell your parents your concern that they will NEVER be resurrected according to Watchtower teachings and that they should go to Jesus for eternal life (John 6:67-69).

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    {{{{{Lisa}}}}}

    I am so sorry for you.

    Tina

  • dottie
    dottie

    This has definately hit some chords here. This is my first time to this site, and well, here I am. My dad was disfellowshipped around the time I was born ('75, go figure) and my mom continued to raise us in the "truth". I wanted to call her up after Dateline, and cram eveything in her face, to show her what these figures are capable of. But, alas, I can't. Why? My mom has been through so much already, with my dad's infidelities and alcoholism, that this organization , as much as I dislike it, has been a constant source of comfort for her though her difficult times. I want so badly to show her their un "truth"ful ways and what they truly are capable of, but I'm afaid it would devastate her and crush her heart. I have already hurt her by telling her that the only thing that I regret about my upbringing was her religion, and the problems it caused between her and I. So, all I'm left to do is vent on this forum. Thanks for letting me vent,
    Crystal

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Welcome dottie - vent away.

    I know what you're saying, as sometimes it's all some people have.
    The difficulty is helping them to create something with their life, beyond the control.

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Welcome Dottie- never give up hope I was "ousted in 1987: cos I didnt believe Jesus came invisably- Hey I should send them thank you cards for setting me free- Who knows what will happen to your Mum.I was considered an EXcellent J.W. shamed to say I made 10 others JWs
    My story is on http://www.jwinfoline.com/Page/audio.htm
    I am Grace Gough.....

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