I did something really stupid.... :(

by Eppie 26 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  dustrabbit

  I don't normally advocate what LB is suggesting, but in your case, I agree here, it's better to deny. Why? You were already lying to begin with. I know this doesn't sound good, but I figure this will better suit your long-term goals, i.e. your college education. If you get Df'ed, your parents will withhold any financial help from you. And like Puff says, you live the life that many JW kids would kill for.

  But you can convince the elders that your sister has the problem...dity mind, hearing problem, whatever, you not only keep your parents' cash coming in, but you also teach your sister a lesson in loyalty. Believe me, it's better she learn it this way rather than lose her sister to a bad case of verbal diarrhea

  Sometimes you must comprise your morals for the sake of the larger picture. Like I said, I don't normally advocate this behavior, but you have more to lose than your sister.
  Take care,
  the dustrabbit

  To do list:
  1.Still waiting to goose the Organization.
• 

  RedhorseWoman

  Consider this to be "theocratic warfare". The JWs will not hesitate to lie if they feel the person asking questions has no right to the information.

  In this case, the elders have no right to know the details of your personal life. You have chosen not to associate with the congregation any longer, and you are no longer bound by their rules.

  You gave no specifics to your sister, so if she makes an accusation to the elders, just insist that she misunderstood what you had told her and that nothing out of line happened. THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO KNOW YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS!!!

  And, TR is right. You need to be much more careful. This is your life, and you are the one in control.....don't be foolish. ****HUGS**** (this is the mother in me coming out )
• 

  Pathofthorns

  You have to love the "two witnesses" rule most of the time. So many times it can save your ass as has been mentioned. "Deny, deny, deny".

  Don't let these people control your private life. It is none of their business. Just tell them you have no idea what they are talking about, and then tell them to go to hell and leave you alone.

  Path
• 

  Elsewhere

  I don't get it... why don't any chicks ever want to use ME to get even with someone??? I'm ready and willing! Hell, I'll even buy dinner!

  "Here I am! Send me!"

  "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
  Believe in yourself, not mythology.
  <x ><
• 

  Rachelle2

  I agree.........deny, deny, deny. It is none of their business. Don't meet with them either because if you are not strong, they will break you down and you will regret it forever after.

  And believe me.......don't ever think for a minute that you can trust a family member, whether they are inactive, DF'd, DA'd, or just someone you feel you can trust. I made the same mistake and admitted something to my brother in law who was DF'd at the time and it came back to bite me. He got reinstated within a year and told me I either had to go and tell the elders what I had done or he would. It was awful.

  Good luck to you though.
• 

  raven101

  Do you have a problem with lying?

  I'm pretty good at this . . . I save my lies for absoulute necessity and make sure they are irrefutable and that they stick.

  So you didn't actually SAY you slept with him?

  If I were you I would just talk to my sister again, like real casual (bring it up as a side note, so it's not obvious),

  "Well, at least we didn't go ALL THE WAY!" if she says she thought you did "God no! I'm not that stupid!" (look at her like your shocked she's such an idiot) "Did you think that?" "I wondered why you were looking at me like that!"

  You get the gist, whatever works, but stick to it. Then she has nothing to say, no guilt at witholding a 'dirty secret'.

  Your off the hook, she has nothing to report, everybody's happy.

  And next time you speak into someones ear, pretend theres a megaphone projecting out there other ear in the direction of the person(s) you would most dread them repeating your confidence to.

  good luck,

  Raven101
• 

  joannadandy

  I would like to think that your sister will uphold her bonds of sisterhood before she upholds some self-righteous ideas of piety and turns you in.

  How well do you know your sister?

  I say you let it sit until she makes the first move, if she doesn't make a move--woo-hoo! You are more important than some stupid religion. If she does make a move--that's sad that she can sell you out like that, but I am going to have agree witheveryone else, and say deny it.
• 

  closer2fine

  I also think you should totally deny, deny, deny.

  You didn't tell your sister the truth & so by denying you wouldn't be calling her a liar.

  closer

  Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
  Sand and water, and a million years gone by - beth nielsen chapman
• 

  Mulan

  Glad I am not the only one here. I would definitely deny it all. You told her you kissed him. Leave it there. "sorry she misunderstood"........etc. etc. You do not have to talk to them. If she tells her elders, they are not in your town, so they may call yours, but they won't know who you are, so will not do a lot to try and find you.

  If it comes down to it, lie. (I am a mother and grandmother, so I can't believe I am telling you this) I just think it is no ones business who (or if) you sleep with...........only your business.

  Marilyn (aka Mulan)
  "No one can take advantage of you, without your permission." Ann Landers
  
• 

  dustrabbit

  Yo! Eppie,
  How are things for you now? Please take our adivce to heart. Even though I was never baptized, I've been to one of those KC/judicial court things, and they're not pretty. I promise that I'll sometime soon post what happened to my parents, they weren't prepared by the bomb that my sister dropped on them...especially my dad. But let me tell you here briefly, that when my sister cried sexual molestation against my dad, the Elders tried (without success) to get me to go along with the lies that my sister was telling.

  So don't think for one instant your sister won't become your enemy if she reports this. The Elders will expect her to play ball on their side under the pretense that "it's what Jehovah wants you to do for the sinner."

  Also, like some of our more articulate posters have written, you should be more careful about the sleeping-with-a-guy thing. Granted, you're old enough to know right from wrong, but I think if a guy is all-too willing to jump in the sack with you when he knew (I'm assuming here) you were down emotionally is just a cad. (Not that you weren't using him also, because you were.) This also doesn't take into consideration the emotional/physical health costs.

  Even though I agree lying is worng, don't let this lying stuff get you down too much. Sometimes you'll find it necessary when dealing with the JWs...hell, they don't take their own advice.

  the dustrabbit

  To do list:
  1.Still waiting to goose the Organization.