Help or advise wanted

JG

Hi all,
I'm a brand newbie to your forum. I'm a "non believing" husband (12 years) of a returning witness. I'm a devout "cat lick" and my wife is returning to the kh after 12 years. We are having problems with our four children who have been raised Catholic (unbaptised at her request) and now she wishes to take the to meeting and teach them the doctrine of the watchtower. I have been going to meeting with her and our kids every other week and to Mass on off weeks as well. Now she no longer wants me to go because I do not believe the GB is spirit led. And I do not think she will be attending mass with us either. Never the less My question after much rambling is

How should I/ can I show support to my wife as she does this.
What should I do in hopes of showing her why I don't believe the GB
any suggestions or comments would be GREATLY appreciated as our marriage is falling apart after 12 years of bliss and I am crumbling with it.

og

I don't think you can really support her - the potential for harm to your children is too great. I know this is pessimistic, but I'm in a similar situation and am finding no middle ground. JWs are really a pretty nasty cult under all the sweet talk and you have to think about your children.

blondie

Actually, scripturally (according to JWs) you can forbid her to teach them or take them to the meetings. Now, of course, that may make things hell at home. But she is supposed to obey you on this as the head of the house. She can informally talk to them about God but must not disobey you.

zanex

ggod luck...and thats all i have to say about that..

"pop another pill, it will all become clearer...TRUST ME"

-Z-

individuals wife

First of all I would urge you to keep those poor kids away from the Kingdom Hall, immediately. Be firm and just protect those kids from all that being a JW entails.

How should I/ can I show support to my wife as she does this.

Support from you will be seen as an acceptance of her desire to be a JW and take the children into it as well. Do you really want to support her in this? I suggest you take a firm hand and present real evidence into the falseness of the organisation, the problems that they create and the deception that they promote. Try not to bombard her with too much information at once though, just little things to get her thinking.

LDH

LOL @ Zanex....Poor Zanex.

Dude, GET HER INTO FAMILY THERAPY QUICK. Perhaps someone can help you find a therapist in your area who deals with Cult issues.

Because you are the husband, she has no choice, she will have to attend therapy sessions. You are still the head of the house and therapy sessions don't conflict with her supposed "godly devotion."

Good Luck.

Lisa

zenpunk

Whatever you do regarding your wife, PLEASE make sure that your children are not isolated by the WTS. In other words, if they want to play sports, etc., make sure they are able to follow their dreams. Really put your foot down on this one - the damage caused by the "no part of the world" philosophy can be very devastating.

JG

Thanks I wish I knew how to approach this. Whatever I do I am persecuting her and denying spiritual food. I wish I had a way to not be the "evil satan led" person that I am accused of.

Scully

Well, first of all, I'm curious as to what prompted her sudden interest in returning to the Kingdom Hall after twelve years??

I would also stress, as you conceded to HER wishes to not have your children baptized into the Catholic faith, that now it's her turn to concede to YOUR wishes that the children not be baptized into the JW faith. Also stress that if she no longer wishes to have YOU attending meetings at the Kingdom Hall, the children will no longer accompany her either. State very clearly that SHE is the one rocking your family's boat, and that up until SHE decided to immerse HERself in the JW faith, the family was not unduly affected by having a dual expression of worship.

Also make it very clear that HER newfound INTOLERANCE for the faith you have known all your life, which didn't seem to bother her the whole time you courted, were engaged, were newlyweds, had children together for the last 12 years and more, is not going to sit well with you or your children. It seems rather unfair of her to change the established routines of your relationship after such a long time of seeming to be quite content with the way things were going.

Rather than give her "persecution fodder" - which is what JWs love more than anything else - turn the tables on her and whenever she makes a "dig" about Catholicism, say something about how her persecuting your faith would make it appear that YOU have the true religion after all. Do not feed her JW ingrained "persecution complex", if at all possible.

I don't envy you your situation. It's not going to be an easy ride.

Love, Scully

BluesBrother

Hello J G , welcome.
My fellow feeling is with you since my wife too is still a devout Witness and it causes a lot of stress at home

It is true that you have family headship and if your wife asks the elders they will have to agree that you have the right to prevent your children attending meetings .Of course you cannot prevent her confiding her beliefs to them and quietly teaching "The truth"

The danger is that a heavy approach will have you seen as the family tyrant,fulfilling the expectation of "Persecution for righteosness sake"

Do what you feel you have to do where your children are concerned. With your wife ,try and stay calm , just get her to think. Ask her why the beliefs are there , and there is so much info on the net that you can ask her things that she has never considered. Perhaps show where the books make mis quotes?

That what I try ,but it is hard to remain objective and avoid rows. Good luck , keep in touch.

Help or advise wanted

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