I have a confession to make

BATHORY

I couldnt sleep tonight, i mean i just went to bed and tryed, but something inside of me forced me back up to write this post, and im dead tired.

I guess i always knew that i did it, even though it fell deep deep into the pits of my mind.

At times ( like now ) when i look back and think " did i really do that " at times i almost convince myself that it wasnt me, it was a story someone had related to me, a scene in a movie that i somehow integrated into my memory and now wasnt sure if it is real or not etc etc.

Friggin damb it though, as much as i find relief in toying with the forced denials of it all, and then wondering onto a different thought line without ever coming to a conclusion or facing my actions and dealing with it in an appropriate way......i guess thats what im attempting to do here at 2:20 in the bloody morning !

I think i remember touching a girl ( she was 12 ) in an inappropriate way.

She was the young daughter of the family that were studying with my parents, and during the study i would play with the kids and anyhow.

Im sorry if this sounds weird, its late, im tired and with all this talk lately i guess it has surfaced out from the latent annals of my deepest memory.

There was absolutely no sex involved.

DazedAndConfused

bath, are you trying to tell us that you are reppressing memories of a sexual assault, perpetrated by you?

bath, if you are...I AM SAYING RIGHT NOW...PLAIN AND CLEAR...It happens. But for you to admit that, if it is true, is the greatest thing I have ever heard in my life!!!

I was abused as a child (4 years old), and we were told to forget it, let it go, he is a Judge, this will go nowhere,...

bath, if this indeed happened you need to know, without trying to "cover up" a crime...I applaud you for finally owning up to a situation that could have/does ruin a persons life.

bath, unfortunately you have not included enough info to respond.

outnfree

Bathory,

You don't state YOUR age when this happened, so I don't know how intimidated your victim would have been. If you were close in age and 'no sex was involved' it may not have been too traumatic to the young girl in question.

The best thing, if you could look her up, would be to tell her what you've remembered and apologize for your bad behavior. If she was affected by the 'improper touching'(a very vague term, btw), an apology from you would help HER healing AND yours, I think.

Please consider it.

outnfree

MarchOn

You need to go to the elders NOW!!!!! But don't worry they probably won't do anything to YOU. But if the girl was a witness.........
Sorry Bath but if you did that I'm Sure you remember-your not the victim here.

Mimilly

Bath - a brave thing to acknowledge indeed. Now you realize how victims remember things that have been repressed.

For your own sanity, you may want to talk to a professional.

hugs,
Mimilly

Kismet

Some how I can't help but feel that Bathory is yet again plying his stupid mind games on the participants here.

Just as he lied in the past. Likely he will wait until enough people post, then say he was only 4 years old and it was his 12 year old baby sitter or something like that.

If he is actually confessing this happened when he was an adult or mature teen, this is the wrong place for such a confession.

Just as the elders are not qualified to deal with allegations of abuse, the participants at an anonymous forum are also not qualified to help you deal with any such claim.

If legitimate, go to a therapist or proper authority in your area. Determine the validity of your repressed memory. Once that is done, take steps to take responsibility for your actions.

Once again, this isn't the place IMO for the help you need (whether your story is fabricated - mindgames - or not)

Kismet

Cassiline

Thank you Kismet!!

When I first read this earlier I was sick. If its the truth then as you said Bath needs help elsewhere.

If it is a Joke, Bath you still need help. For this is not something to joke about.

Need to go before I say something I may regret.

C

When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.

outnfree

Kismet,

You're probably right. I am not qualified to tell Bathory what to do here. Mimilly was likely right in recommending he get himself to a professional now. That is, if this post is true, for I, also, wondered if Bathory was on the up and up, but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. -- My bad?

outnfree

Farkel

Bathory,

Were there two witnesses to the occassion? If not, may Jehovah continue to bless you in your efforts with little girls, and you can proceed with making sure the little girl gets disfellowshiped for slander.

Farkel

WildHorses

Bathory,

I have been a victom of sexual abuse and so has my youngest son, but I am not going to put my feelings out here for the whole world to view. I have sent you an e-mail. There is nothing bad in it, I swear. I hope you will read it.

Shari

I have a confession to make

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